Fifty Shades After
by avameyers
Summary: Ana took a self pregnancy test & confronted Christian indirectly about it. Her nightmares came true when he said he doesn't want kids until in distant future. She left but came back after 6 years. The question is why a sudden change of heart? Why did she come back after 6 years? (Story gets better as you read further!)
1. Chapter 1

*HEY GUYS! THIS IS AVA AND THIS IS MY NEW STORY TITLED 'FIFTY SHADES AFTER' AND IT IS POSSIBLE YOU MIGHT SEE SOMETHING RELATED WITH SIMILAR TITLE BUT THIS STORY IS PURELY MY IMAGINATION AND SOMETHING I WANTED TO PUBLISH FOR 2 YEARS NOW. HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS STORY❤*

*THIS STORY WILL START WITH ANA'S POINR OF VIEW AND THEN PROBABLY CHRISTIAN'S SOMEWHERE IN MIDDLE. FEEL FREE TO POINT OUT MISTAKES. I'M NOT A PROFESSIONAL WRITER BUT SURE TO GET YOU ENGAGED IN THIS STORY!*

CHAPTER 1: ANA'S POV.

"Mom just one hour more!", Mila actually screamed in my ear, for the fifth time in 10 minutes. Hmm, someone needs a scolding soon.

"No Mila, its already past 10.", i said as calmly as possible to my 5 year old daughter.

She needs to know the truth, my inner goddess piped in.

"But i want to meet dad!" not today, please not again. I'm already tired. My boss is being an ass lately giving heaps of manuscripts to read in just a day!

"He is busy" i said, not thinking twice before answering. this has become our usual bickering. her asking about her 'dad' and me giving a monotone reply every single night.

"You always say that! i want to meet him today! he always leaves for work before i wake up & comes after i go to bed! Not today please mom!" she made a sad puppy face to emphasis her point.

"Mila" i said as convincing as possible "he is not in town this month. he has gone overseas for a business trip remember?".

Why do you always lie?!, my inner goddess scowled.

"Okay.." her face fall and without anymore arguements went to bed with her Mr. Hugs. I feel terrible for her, she has never met her father. Why? Because i was a coward enough to confront Christian about my pregnancy. So what did i do? Ran. Ran and Ran till i found myself in a new place, unknown place with an unknown identity..

6 years before:-

Shit! how did i forget to take the shots?! it was literally the first condition Dr. Greene put is to remember to take shot every month. One month i did not & bam i become pregnant! Am i that fertile?!

I paced back and forth, not knowing how should i confess this to Christian. How should I? simply tell him or tell him stories and then about the main part. i guess going indirect will anger him more so maybe directly? But i'm not ready for his warth.. i threw my self pregnancy test in the dustbin somewhere in the city. I can't go to Dr. Greene's office, she may tell Christian about it. Maybe the results were false.. i mean i took only 3 tests..

But all were positive, my subconscious nudged.

I wasn't looking when i bumped into a hard chest. I looked up to meet grey eyes and i knew he caught me in my inner dilemma.

"What happened", Christian asked, his brows furrowed.

"What? um.. nothing? wait how are you so early" i said desperately trying to change to subject.

"There wasn't much to do today", he shrugged and gave me a peck on the lips. instantly a smile spread across his face. i tried to smile back but i'm pretty sure i look constipated right now. "Damn i'm hungry. What's for dinner today?"

"Fish & lentil soup!" Mrs. Jones piped in. Christian discreetly made a face at this weird combo. The thing is, i can't keep anything down since i found out i was pregnant. So i told Gail to make lentil soup for me, atleast liquid will be better to consume than solid food.

"i'll freshen up first" Christian said and went straight to his room. Meanwhile i made a decision on how should i present the scenario to Christian. I really hope it works.

As Christian poped another piece of fish in his mouth and checked his mails simultaneously, i contemplated weather i should say something now or in bed. Gail is in the kitchen and i don't want her to hear anything. She knows something is off with me today but she was kind enough not to ask about it. Maybe she sensed its something not related to work.

"Why aren't you eating" Christian scowled at me.

"Just.." i cannot eat fish right now because its smell is making me want to gag, i wanted to say but said "not hungry today".

He narrowed his eyes at me but a ping from his phone distracted him. "Ana eat something atleast" he said distractedly.

"So!" i tried to sound as enthusiastic as i can "you know a girl from work is pregnant!"

He looked at me for a second before resuming his work again. "Who is it?"

"Oh no one you know. She is really happy about it but said she doesn't want to tell her boyfriend about it"

"Why?" now he looks interested.

"Because she doesn't think he will accept it. And she doesn't want to abort the child"

"Oh, but that's not fair"

Yes! That is the reaction i want! "But what if the boyfriend forces her to abort?"

"No one force someone to abort of course. And if they do, they are with the wrong person"

"I know right? i try to tell her that. Hope someone give her some brains in life" i said jokingly but actually freaking out inside.. now is the time. "Christian?"

"Hmm?"

"What if i tell you i was pregnant? What will you do?" my said, my breathe hitched in my throat. oh gosh i said it! what will he say?!

"You are pregnant?!" a look of horror painted his face and instantly all my intentions and happiness went down the drain.

"No! Just asking.. Jeez look at your face!" i tried and laughed but got absolutely no reaction so i stopped.

"Well.. i don't know. I've never thought about it. I'm not against kids.. but definitely not one now. Maybe in distant future..?" So he is not against the notion..

"But what if it was a situation now?" i tried again.

"Why are we talking about pregnancy? Do you want kids Ana?" he asked, quizzical now.

"Not really, but i think a kid now can make our life more happy"

"Ana" he put his phone down, "We are a bit young for kids now, you are young! you just started working! A child is a big responsibility Ana.."

"Yeah, i know. But i can do both, work & taking care of the baby" and i saw some weird emotion cross his eyes.

"Not now Ana, in future maybe, not now. Complete your meal" he said and i knew the conversation was done.

And not only the conversation, also something else felt being broken too, only i could pin point it until the day after..


	2. Chapter 2: Still in Past

_A/N: Hey guys! First off i want to say a big thank you for giving my story a chance! I'll be posting every Monday from now on! Second off, i'm Really sorry for not proof reading the story before! But i swear i've read this chapter a ton of times now & made it perfect! Also this chapter is in past tense because its Ana still remembering her last day at Seattle 6 years back! Hope you enjoy it!❤_

 **Chapter 2: Still in Past (Ana's POV)**

 **[6 year ago]**

I was munching on my granola bar when Christian emerged from the bedroom. But when I looked up at him, all I saw was anger. I couldn't bear the notion that he didn't want my bleep, OUR bleep.

Christian smiled when he saw me. I couldn't help but reciprocate the smile, but the smile didn't quite reach my eyes. He made toast and coffee for himself and ask whether I wanted tea which I politely denied. I didn't wanted anything then, it made me nauseous.

"What are you doing today?", Christian asked.

"Not anything important" LIE.

"Lets go for dinner then", he smirked. He had a hint of kinkiness in his eyes.

"What are you upto Mr. Grey", I smirked back.

"Oh, something to please you, Mrs. Grey"

That was one moment I wanted to abort my plan. The only moment until -

"Hello?", he answered his phone. "Are you fvckin kidding me?!", his brows furrowed. "Not today, I cannot make it." he looked up at me and I know our dinner plan was cancelled in a spur of 10 minutes. Downfalls of being the wife of a business mogul.

"Okay." he sighed to his phone and shut it.

"Its okay", I said at that very moment. "I'm sorry Ana I have to go to Germany. The business there is going in major loss and those bastards decided to tell me today.", he said, crestfallen. "Its okay", I repeated. Better for me, I didn't need any distractions then.

"I want to make it upto you!", he said and before I could process the statement, he picked me up and slammed me against a wall and kissed me deeply. I put my hand around his neck, not wanting to lag behind. He forced my lips open with his tongue and we engaged in a deep passionate make out. A passion which wasn't enough to change my mind though. I had made up my mind, I wanted to go with what I planned. He didn't want kids until distant future, he said, but i'm pretty sure his 'distant' future would've been when we were on our deathbeds.

He broke the kiss with a sigh and picked his call yet again. "Grey", he barked. "Fvck off", he shouted and our passionate moment was over.

We got ready by the time Taylor went down to get the car.

"Christian I..", I fell short for words. Maybe that was our farewell. Maybe I would never meet him after that. Maybe I wouldn't have gone ahead with my plan at all.. but there was a good 90% chance I would've. Christian needed to learn more about the feelings of others rather than only his.

"Anastasia?", he looked concerned.

"Just.. I Love You Christian, never EVER forget that", I smiled, genuinely this time. His grinned his boyish grin, the grin that made my insides go in a turmoil. "I Love You Too, Ana, more than anything in this world!", he said and kissed me. Our last kiss.. i'm going to break him apart I knew it, but he needed to know that i was taking that step for the betterment of our life, to bring a new life into this world.

After Christian left, I felt hollow. Like a piece of me died. I saw him for the last time in person.. and he saw me for the last time. I've been making sandwiches ever since, it was an hour now, and Gail was looking at me anxiously, offering help a numerous times but i didn't need it. I wanted to make my own food. The thing was, Gail was worried because it wasn't one or two sandwiches I was making but atleast 15 altogether!

"I'm going to meet Kate in our old apartment and we are going to have a movie marathon and we need it for that!", I tried to convince her but I don't think i look in a state to convince anyone. My voice was filled with choked back tears as I said it. Everyone is going to hate me from now on.

After making the sandwiches, I got ready. I wore jeans and a comfortable t-shirt and a jacket over it. I packed a small bag filled with clothes & sandwiches. If anyone asked about the bag, I said there were change of plans and we were going to stay for 1-2 nights in our old apartment.

Then, my only concern was that Kate should keep her phone switched off as she had been doing for past 6 hours.

 _A/N: Bit dragging i know but that's because i wanted to write Ana's escapade in the next chapter!❤_


	3. Chapter 3: Escapades

_**A/N:**_ _I'm a bit busy tomorrow so uploading today! The story is still in past tense to warn y'all. And guys i swear i'm not making this a cliche story! There are tons of story out there that have similar base but the story is different. I have a lot planned for this story! Enjoy this chapter for now!❤_

 **Chapter 3:- Escapades (ANA'S POV)**

 **[6 years ago]**

Do you love movies where the thieves run from the police in a very strategic way? I too have a story like that! Only I was no thief & I wasn't running from police.

After I completed packing all my stuff, I went to the security room and told Sawyer about my plans. Immediately, he got up, and insisted he would stay there with me for the prolonged period. I tried to talk to him against it, but hell that man never listened. And when I got too whiny on how Sawyer never left me alone, he uttered one word, "Orders" and that was enough to make my mouth shut.

As Sawyer pressed the elevator button, I looked back for the last time. The last time I would be seeing this beautiful penthouse that had beautiful memories with it. And as funny as it sounds, I would even miss The Red Room of Pain. I had more memories, both bitter & sweet, from the Red Room than anything combined in Escala. I remember Christian taking me there for the first time.. the nervous face he had, the first time we were in there together.. the second time I almost left him.. but mostly it had pleasing memories.

The ping from the elevator distracted me, indicated the arrival. As I stepped into it, I suddenly became very aware of what I was doing. I was leaving everything - Escala, Gail, Sawyer, Taylor, Kate, Christian, my marriage.. my actual life.. I was leaving everything that I ever had, just so I could bring a new life into this world, which I knew wouldn't be possible if I stayed in Seattle. Christian is very good with words, he had the power to coax me into what he wanted but I wanted things against it. At the end, every women makes sacrifices, I made a little more than others.. what was the harm, right?

Wrong, my inner goddess piped in, waking from her long sleep.

When the elevator doors opened, Sawyer immediately went ahead of me and opened the backseat door. I muttered a polite 'Thank You' before going inside. Hell, I couldn't even meet his eyes! Sawyer drove straight to my old apartment. Luckily, Kate and I decided that we would keep the apartment instead of selling it, just so we could have a place to stay when we have arguments with our respective partners and need to storm out. Silly I know, but it was helpful for me then!

I told Sawyer to stop at bank before because I needed to withdraw money. He looked at me quizzically. I mean why would someone withdraw money when they have a couple of credit cards with them? But without arguing, he took me to the bank where I decided to withdraw all my savings. I couldn't do it afterwards since there was a chance he could trace my transaction. I didn't want to borrow money from the account Christian made for me, it was basically me asking too much, after what I was planning to do. After all, I was leaving him and I didn't want any more reasons for him to hate me.

We reached the old apartment in complete silence. Me, especially, contemplated how should I avoid Sawyer's intervention in all of this. As he held the door open for me, I stepped out with an idea forming in my head.

"Sawyer?", I said, as sweetly as possible.

"Yes Mrs. Grey?", he asked.

"Can you grab 2 coffees from Starbucks?", I asked, knowing Starbucks from the apartment was atleast a 20 minute drive.

"Umm Mrs. Grey.. I can't..", he looked for proper words to deny.

"Are you saying no? Christian won't be very pleased with this."

"Okay, Mrs. Grey", he sighed, knowing he had no other option.

After Sawyer left, I rushed into the apartment. Sawyer will make the 20 minutes drive in 10 minutes & coffee will take around 10 minutes so I have around 30 minutes maximum. Damn I should've considered going into business rather than literature with this math.

When I opened the door, I was met with dust. Piles & piles of dust. My sudden OCD kicked in and I had an urge to clean everything. Focus, Ana.

I called the cab company and booked a cab from the apartment to Seattle-Tacoma airport. I already told Hannah the day before to book 1 ticket from Sea-Tac to Phoenix, Arizona. She was confused for a while as there was no meeting or contract in her schedule as such but did the work. Despite telling a ton of times to book in the general class, she upgraded it to business class. Damn that girl.

I brought rough papers and a pen with me too. Now was the time for the last notes. I figured writing the notes here would be better than writing at home. It would evoke more feelings here, I thought. So I started writing notes. They were small but assured I would be safe. One for each - Kate, Elliot, Carrick, Grace, Mia, Gail, Taylor and even Sawyer. I apologized to Sawyer saying it wasn't his fault at all in all of this, he was just following orders. I even wrote one to my mom & Ray. They would be broken and confused, I know, but I need my coast clear. And then the final note, to Christian. I was suddenly overwhelmed. Tears brimmed my eyes & blurred my vision as I poured my heart out. I don't even know what exactly did I write but I think I wrote "I'm Sorry" & "I Love You" a ton of times.

After writing those letters, I arranged them in a neat pile and put them on the kitchen counter. I retrieved my phone from my purse and put it over the pile. I took out my credit cards and everything that could help to trace me and put them besides the pile. Only, I couldn't bear to remove my wedding ring and the charm bracelet. Those are some precious stuff, precious gift & precious promises that I didn't want to lose, ever.

With a heavy heart, I went outside and closed the door behind me. Sawyer hadn't returned by then. I saw a cab waiting and asked if it was for Anastasia Grey, which he confirmed. I sat inside hurriedly and he drove me to Sea-Tac, leaving the city behind me, probably forever.

It was 5pm when I reached Phoenix, with my small bag. I had sweat running down my neck.. Sawyer must've found the notes and phone by then & alerted Christian who must've turned Seattle upside down.. there from Germany. I needed to be quick with my plans. I booked a cab from Phoenix airport to Santa Fe, New Mexico. I know it sounds weird to go to another state via cab when you could've simply gone on a flight but well, I didn't want Christian to track me by any means. I booked the cab with the name Anastasia Steele instead of Grey. I didn't want to use Grey anymore. I had left the name Grey behind me in Seattle. And I didn't need anything remotely 'Grey' coming my way until I bring my bleep to this world.

 _ **A/N:**_ _Being cliché but the comments really motivate me, be it good or constructive! So write something! Any gibberish may do but let me know if its good or it needs more working out :)_


	4. Chapter 4: Past or Present?

_**A/N:**_ _So much has happened this week! Stranger Things being out, Riverdale going more weird and EL James announcing Darker! Its been a rollar coaster of emotions i swear! And in that, i kept writing and deleting this chapter because well, lets just say those people who think writing a story is easy never really wrote one in life. The pressure of giving justice to every character is too much. When literally everyone is hating Ana in my story including me. So, time to make some stuff right_ _ ***winks***_ _. Enjoy the chapter❤_

 **Chapter 4: Past or Present? [ANA'S POV]**

 **[6 Years Ago]**

"Unbelievable!", I exclaimed so loud that everyone around me, stopped their work and glared at me. I ducked my head a bit to avoid their gazes.

Okay, WOAH.

I was sitting in a small cyber café here in Santa Fe, searching for any news, anything related to me.

I searched up 'Christian Grey', 'Anastasia Grey', 'Anastasia Steele' but absolutely NOTHING related to me came up! I searched up some local Seattle based newspapers but there was no news about my absence. I mean how could it be possible? It had been a week!

Did Christian actually get the notes?, I wondered. Or did he simply chose to ignore it? I didn't want this thought to sink in but the latter seemed like a possibility.

But why would Christian ignore me?, my subconscious said.

Because you left him, duh., said my inner goddess.

Yeah but Ana is his wife!, my subconscious argued.

Still, you left him, inner goddess did not leave an opportunity to poke her nose. My inner goddess was not supporting me anymore and I had an urge to shoot her but whatever she was speaking was utter truth.

How could I expect this to become National News?! I left him and I shouldn't be concerned about anything anymore. That was what I wanted, right?

Wrong, my inner goddess didn't leave me alone.

"Shut up!", I shouted loudly and hence got kicked out of the café. I walked slowly towards my apartment which I manage to rent with minimal paperwork. The owner was a 60 year old man living somewhere in Albuquerque and gave his Santa Fe apartment for rent. He said he trusted me and hence did not ask for additional documents. And how did I met him? To be honest, I don't even remember myself. I shouldn't be saying this but I got really drunk the day I came here and the meeting happened somewhere then. Rest is history.

As I was walking down the streets, tears brimmed my eyes as autumn winds blew past me. I knew i had been the most cruel person there was, everyone was hating me by then, I was pretty sure of it.

Shit, what did I do? A sob left my throat and I went into an alley nearby so no one could see me.

I have no one now, I thought. I should have just thought this through properly or never did it. I couldn't even go back! By what face should I face Christian? Just pop there and say, 'Hey hi so I am pregnant for starters and I was coward enough to not confess before and leave but I felt really lonely so I came back.' Even my subconscious and inner goddess looked at me with concerned eyes. They knew everything by then was tearing me apart and my early pregnancy hormones weren't helping me either.

I started getting morning sickness which should not be classified as 'Morning' sickness as they went throughout the day. I should find a new gynecologist soon.

The main question was how did I became so irrational? For fuck's sake this was the most stupidest move I ever made in life. But I realized there is nothing I could do about it anymore. I should deal with this.

When I came out of that alley and started walking again, I decided that what was done, was done. It was time to move forward. It was better race against the past than along with past. Just 8 months more and I would have my bleep with me, and then, I need no one anymore.

 **[Present]**

"Enough is enough Mila. Your disrespect will no longer be tolerated", I said with finality in my voice.

"I am NOT going to eat it!", she screamed and threw another handful of porridge on the floor.

I have Mila strapped in her dining chair and gave her porridge and spoon to finish it and she was eating it but suddenly started shouting and throwing half her breakfast down on floor.

"WHY?!", I exclaimed with frustration. It is more difficult to handle a 5 year old than an infant, trust me.

"I want to meet daddy.", she said.

I sighed. So she was still hung up on last night's conversation. Oh, what did I think she'll be over it? Nah.

"I told you he is not here", I said, calmly. I can't be mad at her in this topic. It is because of me she hasn't met her father yet.

"Why?"

"Because he is on a business trip"

"NO!", she shouted.

"Yes!"

"I want to meet him mommy" and I see sadness in her eyes. A sadness that i've never seen before and I know this time she is pretty serious. It pains me to see her in this condition. I took one wrong step and i'm dragging Mila in this too.

No, I thought. I cannot be unfair to her. She needs to know the truth and i'm not keeping her in the dark anymore. And she old enough to understand that her father doesn't stay with her.

"Okay Mila I have something to tell you.." and I know there was no going back from here now. She needs to know about Christian, and i'm telling her the truth, utter truth this time.

 _ **A/N:**_ _Leave your thoughts & keep loving the story❤_


	5. Chapter 5: Embracing the Truth

_**A/N:**_ _So I had this chapter written and i thought lets give a Halloween treat. So posting early yay! And as promised she reveals tge truth! And upcoming chapters may probably take a while longer because have to do some research regarding it! That's all i'm giving! And also, i don't know who do you imagine as Mila, I imagine her as Mila Stauffer from YouTube. Do check her out, she is an adorable kid! For now, enjoy the chapter!❤_

 **Chapter 5: Embracing the Truth. (Ana's POV)**

"Yes mommy?", Mila asked.

"Okay.. do you know the meaning of lie?", I started, not exactly sure if this is the proper start.

"Yes.." she replied.

"So mommy.. has been lying to you.." I paused to gauge her reaction. She furrowed her brows, not understanding why would I lie to her.

"So" I started again, "Daddy doesn't stay with us." more confusion on her face.

"Okay Mila, I know its a little early for storytime, but do you want to hear one?". She nodded.

"Okay so before you were born, I used to stay somewhere else.. with daddy. We used to stay in Seattle. Do you know where is Seattle?"

"No", she replied.

I had an idea and quickly went and grabbed my phone and showed her a map of USA. I pointed out where we lived in New Mexico and then to Washington State and pointed out Seattle.

"That is faaaaar", she said in.. amusement?

"Yes" I quickly put my phone away and focused on the main task.

"So Mila, when mommy found out that she was going to have you.. I was a bit scared. You see, even mommy was small and stupid."

"Stupid", she repeats and giggles.

"Yeah, that. Mommy wasn't sure what would daddy say if he knows about you. So... mommy left Seattle and came here, in Santa Fe.. our new home" and I could visibly see how her face fall. She wasn't expecting that her mommy could do such a nasty thing, even I regretted myself when I came here.

"So daddy doesn't know about me?", she asks all of a sudden. I am a little taken aback how she actually understood everything I said.

"No babygirl.." I faltered, and she made a face.

"Mommy you know I don't like that name. I am NOT a babygirl", she said going completely off track.

A smile made its way on my face. She isn't mad at me.. or is she?

"Mommy can I ask you a question?"

"Anything!", I want her to talk, and want to know what exactly is she feeling.

"What is daddy's name?"

Have I never told her Christian's name. I don't even remember myself. Maybe because it never came up I guess. Nonetheless, there was nothing to hide now. So I tell her.

"His name is Christian. Christian Grey", and I found myself smiling when I said his name.

"Christian Grey", she repeats and smiles a beautiful smile at me.

"Mila?"

"Yes mommy?"

"Are you angry with me?"

"A little",and I nearly stop breathing. So she is mad at me.

"I am so very very sorry Mila. I was stupid back then. But mommy has improved. And now mommy will do whatever you want."

Yes, that is what I am going to do. I won't force my wishes on Mila anymore. Its her choice from now on. If she want to meet Christian, i'll do that.

"Anything?"

"Yes, anything."

"I want to get down", she says as she struggled in her dining chair. I put her down and she immediately ran into her room.

What?

"Mila!", Instant panic spread through me. What is she doing?!

I run behind her and tried to open the door but it is locked. I banged on the door but there is no answer.

What if she harms herself?, my subconscious nags me.

"NO!", I banged on the door again. This was a stupid idea. What was I thinking?

Or she is simply thinking, my inner goddess consoles.

Yes, probably, my subconscious replies.

"Mila, honey, please open the door. Talk to me. I won't say anything. I promise I will do what you want.", I say whatever that comes to my mind.

The door unlocks and out comes a dressed up Mila for school.

"Mila!", I heave a sigh or relief and hug her tight. "What were you doing?!"

"I was getting ready for school?", she replies, nonchalantly.

"Why didn't you answer anything?"

"I was thinking."

"Thinking what?", I look at her face for any sign but she is expressionless.

"About daddy." and I nearly stopped breathing. Oh.

"And?"

"And i've decided I don't want to meet him."

"What? Why?", I asked, clearly surprised. All this time she wanted to meet Christian and now suddenly she doesn't want to be with him?

"Because I want to meet him when you want to meet him. You don't want to meet him, right mommy?"

"It is not like that.." but in reality it is the truth. I don't want to meet him, ever again.

"I will meet daddy only when you will take me." And she kissed my cheek. "Mommy come on we are late for school!", Mila says and runs to put on her shoes. I smile at her retreating figure.

She is so smart for a five year old. I must've done something good in life to get someone like Mila. She is full of light and happiness, exactly opposite to a dark and doomed me. And if I have one wish in life, it would be to never change her happiness. She deserves the world for all I know.

Just as I was about to get in the car, ready to drop Mila to school, I get a call. It is Cynthia, my assistant at my workplace.

"Steele", I said hurriedly as I check my watch. We are, indeed, getting late.

"Ms. Steele, the documents you were waiting for have just arrived."

Shoot.. them. So early?

"And?"

"I haven't opened them yet."

"Put 'em on my desk. I'll be there in 15 minutes", I say and end the call.

If you don't know the clear definition of hell, i'll show you. Because it has just started for me.

 _ **A/N: Leave your thoughts & keep loving! Xoxo ~ Ava.**_


	6. Chapter 6: Secrets

_**A/N**_ _: In the light of the new Fifty Shades Freed trailer being released, i am extremely excited for the movie + its soundtrack + the new Darker book. So here's a early update for that! Enjoy the chapter!❤_

 **Chapter 6: Secrets (Ana's POV)**

"Morning Ms. Steele, here is your coffee", Cynthia says as she hands me my coffee. I stopped drinking tea long back. I usually drown myself in work so much that atleast three cups of caffeine is a must needed to stay awake.

"Are the documents in my office?", I ask hurriedly.

"Yes, Ms. Steele", she replies.

"Okay listen now, I don't want any disturbance for an hour. Cancel all my meetings for the hour. I want some time alone.", I enter my office and slam the door before I can hear her answer.

I quickly scan my desk and spot the document.

It is here, I almost stop breathing as I pick it up.

Now, am I ready for it?

Doesn't matter it is already here, my inner goddess says and I ignore her. No distractions.

With sweaty palms, I open the package. Without reading the content, which I should, I directly read the bottom line. And I see my whole world crumpling as I read the words, Positive.

A sob leaves my throat. No. This should NOT be happening. But it is.

I put the papers back and put it in the last drawer. I don't want to see it.

I don't know what to do next. How will everything work out? What about Mila?

I retrieve my phone and speed dial the number I know by heart by now.

"Ana?", he picks up the call in first ring itself.

"Dad?", tears were flowing freely now, no barriers.

"Ana, what happened?", Ray said with concern in his voice.

"Its positive, dad", I whisper, almost inaudible if he isn't paying attention.

"Positive?.. oh", it takes him a minute to decipher it. "When did it..?"

"This morning dad. They came in this morning."

"Anastasia, honey, it'll all be fine"

"How?! Tell me how dad. Everything is over, nothing will be normal from now on." By now I am crying so loudly I wonder why hasn't Cynthia checked on me yet.

"I am there for you sweety, i'm there for you and Mila", he tries to convince but fails miserably. Even he knows there is nothing he can do. He is growing old himself, he really cannot help me. "Talk to your mother, Ana. She may have a solution."

"I haven't talked to mom since ages now. And even if she does, I cannot do anything. I'm broken as shit dad. I have nothing right now. Whatever I earn, the maximum portion goes to Mila's education fund and rest is household expenses."

"Honey.. you know I can help you financially."

"I don't need financial aid, dad. I'm at work right now, i'll.. call you later", I say and cut the call.

I flop down on my chair and remove a mirror to see what damage is done to my makeup. There are mascara lines along my cheeks and my eyes look red and puffed up. I've made a mess of myself.

I want to talk to my mom, be in her comforts but she is still mad at me for leaving Christian. In my third trimester, I called up Ray & Mom and told them about everything. They were extremely shocked and worried sick, to say the least. When Mila was born, Ray's anger cooled down a bit but mom's was still intact. Not that i'm complaining, I deserve it. Over the course, I became more close to Ray and now I only call up Mom to know if she is okay and stuff, just for update, you can say. She wants me to correct my mistake, confront Christian, but I don't want to. And now I don't even have power to.

After completing my work, I go to the daycare and pick Mila up. She has this bright smile on her face when she sees me.

"Mommy!", she comes running towards me and hugs my feet. I chuckle and hug her back. My sunshine.

"Do you wanna go and eat ice cream?", I suggest and she nods real quick. I pick her up and get her, her favorite ice cream. I watch as she eats it with pure bliss, having no care for the world.

No, I decide there and then. I'm not going to ruin Mila's life anymore. She deserves the world and I am going to give it to her. She wants to meet her daddy, so be it. I'm going to take her to Seattle and figure things out with Christian. He probably would want to just not see me but i'm sure he will listen to me if I tell him about Mila, I have a feeling about it. Mila deserves to be in a happy family with her dad with her, and she will have him.

It isn't like you have another choice anymore. You have to go to Christian's, my inner goddess looks up with her half rimmed glasses on.

True.

 _ **A/N: There are 2 options. 1) Shorter chapters but more number of chapters. 2) Longer chapters but less number of chapters. Tell me what option do you prefer in comments!❤**_


	7. Chapter 7: Reconnecting

_**A/N:**_ _As expected, most of y'all voted for longer chapters. Now longer chapters isn't really my forte but i'll try and increase the length gradually. Since I had this chapter up before posting the previous one so this is short but still longer than the previous one. Hope you like this chapter!❤_

 **Chapter 7: Reconnecting. [Ana's POV]**

"Are you done yet sunshine?", I holler from my room.

"I cannot decide!", my dear daughter shouts back.

I sigh and got up. I told her I will help her pack but she said she wanted to act 'big' and do her own work.

"Told you, babygirl"

"NO babygirl!"

"Why is it taking you so long?"

"I cannot decide what clothes to pack mommy", she says and her face falls. She hates to accept defeat in any task she takes up.

"Its okay sunshine, that is why mommies are made", I say and chuckle. "What do you want to pack exactly?"

"Anything that makes me look perfect. I don't want to look ugly."

"You look the best in anything you wear. Even nightgowns suit you."

"Ew mom!", she made a face and I laugh.

"C'mon now. I have my own packing to do."

Soon we packed some dress and sweaters. It is going to be cold up there and I don't want to risk Mila's health for it. We are going to Seattle in 2 days. I talked to Mila about it. For some strange reason, she is concerned more than happy.. for me? I don't know. She is confusing sometimes. She did not ask how and why about it but simply nodded to whatever I said.

"Here, its done. See? The more the merrier", and she grins. "Mila?"

"Yes mommy?"

"Do you want to go to Seattle?"

"If you want to go, then yes."

"I'm not talking about me, sunshine. I'm talking about you. Do you want to go?"

"I don't know."

"What does that mean?", I need to know what is exactly going on in her mind. And currently, she is making me even more confused than ever.

"Nothing", She says and takes the bag from my hands and drags it to a corner. She flops down on her bed and pretends to sleep.

"Talk to me!" I shake her until she gets really irritated.

"I don't want to!", she says and I see tears in her eyes.

"What happened, honey? Oh my God don't cry!", I take her in my arms and cooed her. "Talk to me, Mila. Is someone teasing you at school?"

"No"

"Then?"

"You tell me", she looks at me with her puffed eyes. It breaks me to see her cry. She never cries, even when she was a baby. So much so everyone in the neighborhood gave her the name of the 'happy kid'.

"Tell you what?"

"Why have you been so upset for sometime?", and I stare at her, dumbfound. How does she know? Am I that bad of an actor? "You have been so sad for these past days. What happened mommy?"

"Mila.. I.. noth-"

"You are upset for sometime now. You always keep think. We have stopped going to the park on Sundays. You are always on the computer. And then I was really confused and wanted to know if it was about daddy."

"No Mila.."

"I know he doesn't stay with us. When you didn't take me to the park last Sunday, I was awake the whole night. I never saw daddy come. And I guessed he doesn't stay with us, because I never saw him.", she said and I gasp. She Knows. Everything. I don't say anything but just look at her.

"I asked you, so many times, about daddy. But you never told me. And now suddenly in a week we are moving to Seattle? I don't understand what is going on mommy. Tell me please."

"Mila.. why didn't you tell me about all this before?"

"Because I wanted you to tell me!"

"I did.. just very late."

"Why did you tell me now mommy? I know there is something going on and you are not telling me."

"Mila.."

"Are we really going to meet daddy in Seattle?"

"Yes!", I say. Atleast, this is true.

"Okay mommy." She says and put the covers over her eyes and face the other side and the conversation was over. I think it is best to not wake her again. I kiss her forehead with teary vision, switch off the lights and exit the room.

With heavy steps, I go to my room to pack my stuff. She knows. About everything. And she even knows something is going up with me. If only I can tell you about it Mila, but you are too young.

Focusing on the matter that is important right now, I pack my stuff too. Then I get my cell phone and search my contact list for that number. I don't know if it is still active or no, but what is the harm in giving it a try?

I dial the number and wait. He is the only person I can think who will understand me.. or atleast I think ring goes and I nearly stop breathing as the he picks up the call.

"Hello?", answers a confused but firm voice.

"Sawyer?", I whisper and there is silence from the other end. I thought the line was disconnected until he says after a prolong period.

"Mrs. Grey?" He recognizes my voice!

"How are you? And please call me Ana", not very sure what to say.

"I'm fine, Mrs- Ana. New Mexico?", he asks, confused.

"Yeah, Santa Fe. I'm really very sorry Sawyer", I gush, and he knows what am I apologizing for exactly. 6 years ago, the escape.

"It is okay."

"Did you get in trouble...?"

"No."

"Are you still mad at me?"

"No."

"Stop with the monosyllables, Sawyer!"

"Ana, why did you call me.." after such a long time when I completely cut the relations off, I complete the sentence in my head.

"I am coming back to Seattle and I need help. And I don't know who should I call.."

"Oh.."

"Do you still work at Escala?"

"Yes, of course.", he says and i'm sincerely happy that Christian didn't fire him or something.

"Can you pick me up, day after tomorrow from the Seattle airport? I need to talk to you about something that I can't talk over the phone."

"Sure. What time?"

"Our flight should reach Sea-Tac by 12pm."

"Our?", he asks, confusion in his voice.

"Told you, I have a lot to discuss."

"Okay, i'll be there."

"And Sawyer?"

"Yes?"

"Don't tell anything to Christian, please."

"Of course not."

"Bye Sawyer.. meet you soon."

"Yes, Ana.", he said and disconnect the call.

No matter what he says, I sensed the anger in his voice. And if Sawyer is mad, i'm sure rest of the folks in Seattle are too.

 _ **A/N: What is the average length of a long chapter? I've read few books here and they are usually 1500 words. Mine are from 1100-1400 words. Do let me know! Xoxo ~ Ava❤**_


	8. Chapter 8: Familiar Faces

_**A/N:**_ _My exams are on and I cannot concentrate because i hadn't updated. Oh well. I love reading all the theories regarding this story and tbh, one or two people actually got it right! I'm trying to make this story s realistic as possible! Hope you enjoy this chapter!❤_

 **Chapter 8: Familiar Faces [Ana's POV]**

"Are we really flying between the clouds?", Mila asks as I unfasten her seatbelt.

"Yes!", I say in excitement and I see her eyes twinkle.

She had been a little nervous about the plane ride before but she was fine with it once we were aboard.

"This is so cool!", she exclaims. I laugh at her excitement. "When will we reach Seattle?"

"It should take around an hour now", I guess.

"What will daddy say when he sees me?" she asks suddenly.

"I don't know, honey. Probably be happy because he has a very beautiful and smart daughter", I wink at her. She smiles back and looks out of the window.

She was sleeping when the plane touched Seattle. I try to wake her but she doesn't even budge. I sigh and carry her in my arms as I descend the flight. Anxiety kicks in as I see Sea-Tac after 6 years. So much has changed here. I try to wake Mila again and put her down. She wakes up and looks up at me groggily but she is finally up.

"Where are we?", she asks, her eyes half closed. She is a sucker for waking up early. Once she sleeps, it is almost impossible to wake her again.

"We are here, in Seattle", I say and look at her expressions closely. Suddenly she becomes very aware of her surroundings and looks around.

"Oh. Where are we going from here?", she looks at me expectantly.

"Mommy's..", I don't want to mention the word 'bodyguard' as Sawyer isn't anything but a friend helping me right now.

More like your husband's employee, my inner goddess sneered. She is finally awake from her long sleep.

"Friend, Mommy's friend is coming to pick us up. He must be outside"

"Lets go then", she takes my hand and starts pulling me.

"Wait, my Usain Bolt, let us take our luggage first", I say and go and take our luggage from the baggage carousel.

I pull my bag and have Mila's around my shoulders. I hold her hand and exit the airport. There are a lot of people around with placards in their hands with names written on them. I don't think Sawyer will one of those so I go further ahead and try to locate him. But there was no sign of Sawyer.

Did he ditch me?, I think.

"Where's your friend mommy?", Mila asks.

"I'm searching for him", I say, distractedly.

"Ana?", I heard a deep voice behind me. I spin so fast that I could've knocked him down if he hadn't been cautious.

"Sawyer!", I exclaim with a broad grin on my face. I'm so happy to find a familiar face around me after such a long time.

"You've.. changed", he says. True. After Mila's birth, I chopped my hair to a long bob. It is easier to maintain it in the hustle between work and taking care of a baby. His eyes wander down to Mila and confusion paints his face. And then realization dawns on him and he looks at me, shocked.

Mila looks so much like Christian than me. Though she has brunette hair, her face is an exact replica of Christian's.

"Who is she?", he asks, discreetly so Mila doesn't hear. But of course, she does.

"I'm Mila Steele, nice to meet you!", she gives one of her best smiles. Sawyer still looks at me in disbelief.

"I told you I have a lot to tell you", I say.

"Let me take your luggage. Where are you going to stay?", Sawyer asks.

"That, I don't know. I'll probably stay at a hotel or something.", I say. "But first, let us go to a restaurant, I'm starving."

"I know a good restaurant nearby", he says as he takes us to the car. I smile when I see its a white Audi. A distant chat with Christian about how easy it is to spot white cars at night came to my mind. I don't know if I can ever have that relationship I had with him.

"Wow", Mila wondered as she saw the car. We have a small car, that barely can accommodate us, let alone luggage with humans.

"C'mon get inside", I say and Sawyer drives us to an expensive restaurant. I don't have enough money if we are going to have lunch here.

"Can't we go to a bistro or something where we can get a booth to talk?", I suggest.

"Okay", he drives us to a nearby bistro 'Allen's'.

We take the booth in corner, hoping to get a little privacy.

"Welcome to Allen's, what are you having today", comes the waiter with an extra toothy smile.

I order a vegetable ravioli for me and cheese fondue for Mila while Sawyer goes for a cup of latte.

"So", Sawyer starts when the waiter leaves.

"Yes, Sawyer", I answer to the impending question in his eyes about Mila.

"How..? I mean when did you come to know..? And call me Luke if we are on the first name basis.", he stammers.

"The night before I left, Luke", and his eyes bulge a little. "And that is why I left."

"Why Ana?!"

"Because.. I was scared back then. I was naïve!", I say in my defense.

"Ana to be utterly honest, this is the most stupidest thing i've ever heard. Leaving because you were pregnant!"

"What would've I said to Christian?"

"The truth!"

"That's why i'm here now", I look at Mila who is busy playing games on my phone.

"Nothing can be right now", Luke says with a sigh and I furrow my brows.

"What do you mean?"

"Mr. Grey has moved on.", he states and I momentarily freeze. What?!

"Umm.. what..?", I try to form a sentence but fail miserably.

"Mr. Grey has a girlfriend. And she isn't the first or second one over the course."

"What do you want to say, Luke?"

"Mr. Grey has changed a lot over the course, Ana. Her current girlfriend is his 11th girlfriend in 6 years. You took too long", he states the truth and I simply stare at him.

Oh... OH.

 _ **A/N: Leave your thoughts in the comments! Gradually increasing the length too! Xoxo ~ Ava❤**_


	9. Chapter 9: Confusing Truth

_**A/N:**_ _So, the faq about this story is, is it HEA or no? (It literally took me 2 days to know the meaning of the word lol) I would say that revealing the end will only make the further chapters less exciting and a mere read. So just enjoy the story, have faith in me and my characters, we won't disappoint you! For now, Enjoy the Chapter peeps!❤_

 **Chapter 9: Confusing Truth [ANA'S POV]**

Christian has a girlfriend. And also not one but 11 of them. What is he, a man whore? And right now, I feel terrible. Christian has moved on. A long back. The 'forever and always' promises seem so distant right now. Probably the word 'forever' doesn't exist in real life. But what am I complaining about, I broke the 'forever' promise. And right now, I want to break it again by running. There is absolutely no way Christian will even want to be near me anymore. And Mila, she will be abandoned too.

Don't conclude the future by yourself, my subconscious encourages. True. Maybe I shouldn't run this time but face it. What will happen at the most? He will refuse to meet us. I want to give everything a try this time. I don't want to run anymore.

I forgot I am in the café with Luke right now and my ravioli is a cold now and i'm staring at it while Mila savours her dish.

"Are you okay?", Luke speaks after a long time.

I chuckle. "You think?"

"What do you expect? He will be waiting for you forever with no guarantee that you will come back?", he says, almost accusingly.

I simply stare at him. Well yeah, that is what I expected right? I don't speak anything and he assumes my answer.

"Why did you come here, Ana?", he says again, this time a little softer. I simply open my handbag and hand him the documents. Speaking about it will make me break down and I don't want to come out as weak in front of Mila.

Confusion paints his face as he reads it is from a hospital. He stares at me with numerous questions in his eyes but I tell him to read it first.

He opens it and reads everything carefully. The stuff written in it seems a little embarrassing to me. His face is so comical by the time he finished reading it that I actually chuckle.

"Ana?!", he stares at me with his eyes nearly out of their sockets.

Even Mila is interested now. I don't want her to know about this. As much as I want to frank with Mila about everything, not this. Never this. Not now, atleast.

"Mila, honey, mommy and him," I nod towards Luke, "want to talk about something important. Will you give us a little privacy? You can use my earphones and listen to music.", I suggest.

"Okay.." I hand my earphones to her and ensure she actually plays something on it and not eavesdrop.

"Ana?", Luke says as he grows impatient.

"This is the reason I am here.. as selfish as this sounds", I smile, without any emotion in it.

"How?"

"I don't know how. There is no reason how you get it. I was lucky enough, you can say, to find out sooner rather than later."

"What are you going to tell Mr. Grey?"

"I don't know."

"Have you actually thought this through?"

"No.."

He sighs. Obviously I am being stupid here, but I want to talk to Christian about everything first.

"Why do you have me here exactly?"

"To support me, Luke. To tell me about Christian. What happened in these 6 years Luke? So I can plan the least disastrous way to tell him about Mila."

"It's really complicated, Ana. And the story doesn't end well."

"Just tell me already."

"After you left, and when I came back with your 'coffees' ", he makes a face. "I should've asked why do you want coffee instead of tea." and I actually laugh. A genuine laugh after a long time. True though, old Ana would never drink coffee.

Neither be reckless, my inner goddess is up again.

"I found some papers and your cellphone and credit cards neatly arranged in a pile on the kitchen counter. And I knew something was off. I searched the whole apartment and when I didn't find you, I started going through the notes. I saw names scribbled on top on every note. And I found one with my name on it too. I read it and the first thought that came to me was you were joking-"

"Why would you think that?"

"-Let me finish!", he gave me a look and I shut up. "But then I didn't find you in the whole neighborhood and since I couldn't find you despite searching for like an hour, I called Ms. Kavanaugh. And her phone was switched off so I called Mr. Elliott and he said that Ms. Kavanaugh was not in Seattle and that's when I knew you actually ran away."

I look at him without any expression. It is actually terrifying to think this situation from this point of view.

"And I had no idea what should I do. Where have you been. I called Mr. Grey-" I found myself holding my breath, anticipating "- and he was beyond shocked. Confused and angry even. They were in Germany by that time and he cancelled all his meetings and came back by midnight."

As anticipated.

"When he came back, I showed him all of your notes, minus mine. He was so furious at me for leaving you alone. He couldn't figure out what was happening, and neither could any of us. He went to his office and read your notes.. and the next bit was confusing.." and I furrow my brows, but did not speak anything.

"When he came out of his office, he told us not to look for you.", and my eyes widened. What?!

"I was confused. Like, didn't he want to look for you? Taylor, I remember, questioned him about it but he kept saying there was no need to find you. I don't know what was going on in his mind, but whatever happened that night was confusing. Nonetheless, we searched for every lead and found out you went to Phoenix, Arizona. But after that, nothing. Gradually, we all stopped."

Everything he was saying, was my worst nightmare 6 years back. Christian never searched for me. He was over me the day I left itself.

I felt tears on my cheeks and I find myself crying. I wiped my tears away. If he didn't care, then I don't want to too. I shouldn't be hung up on him either.

"After that day, he changed.", Luke continues. "After a month or so, he came back with a woman and Taylor told us he found her at the club. I never knew Mr. Grey goes for clubbing." So many changes, it was almost impossible to keep a track.

"Then time changed, women changed. The Christian Grey which everyone knew to be reserved was suddenly a different person. The press found out about you disappearance 3 months after."

This, I know. Three months afterwards, my disappearance made headlines, I used to to stay inside the house for maximum time in fear to be caught by someone. Luckily, no one noticed.

"So.. I have no chance now?", I manage to speak, my throat hoarse.

"Actually you do.", Sawyer says and smiles for the first time since he met us.

"What?!", I ask eagerly. I'm ready to do anything, any chance I can get to talk to Christian once.

"I don't know if this is true or no, but if Taylor's news is correct, Mr. Grey is going to breakup with his girlfriend either tonight or tomorrow."

And after a long time, I saw a flicker of hope ahead.

 _ **A/N: Leave your thoughts! They are the only thing that keeps me going both with the story and my exams right now! Xoxo ~ Ava❤**_


	10. Chapter 10: Deeper Secrets

_**IMPORTANT A/N:**_

 _I'm using the 'Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital' from Grey's Anatomy in this story. I love Grey's Anatomy and its based in Seattle, where Fifty Shades is based too. So I wondered, why not use it? I'm not going to make anything big from it so I don't think i should put it under the crossover category. I mean sure there will be names here and there but the doctors i'm using aren't even mentioned in the show so its just the name of the hospital. Hope you enjoy the chapter! It's my favorite one so far!❤_

 **Chapter 10: Deeper Secrets**

 **(Ana's POV)**

"Luke, this isn't necessary at all!", I whine. The last thing i want right now is to go to a hospital.

"The reports you showed me were from a local clinic. We can't rely on it only."

"So what do you want me to do? Go to a big fancy hospital for tests again?!"

"Exactly."

"You are being delusional! I don't understand what is wrong with these reports!", I put the reports in front of his face. He shoves my hand away.

"Ana i'm driving! Jeez! Last thing I want is Mr. Grey finding out we were in a car accident."

"Shut up!", I whine like a baby. Mila watches our banter in amusement. She doesn't know these kind of banters were on regular basis 6 years back. Luke is still the same, too stubborn.

Luke pulls into the parking lot of 'Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital'. Sudden anxiety kicks in.. I'm in a hospital. Everything seems so official now. I hate hospitals. Even the mere thought about them makes me nauseous.

We go inside and we are greeted with strong smell of medicines. The smell when you open the bottle of Acetone? Imagine that smell multiplied into 100 mixed with another I-don't-know-what liquids. Call me a baby but this is making me feel dizzy right now. I'm not ready for this.

"I'm not having a good feeling about this, lets go Luke, we'll come tomorrow.", I whisper to Luke but he ignores me. "You cannot ignore me!", I whisper - shout and jerk his shoulder back.

"We've been through this Ana!", he shoots back in a low voice. "If you tell Mr. Grey about this i'm sure he'll have a second opinion too. So lets get a confirmation beforehand." As much as I would love to not admit, he is being rational here. Sooner rather than later.

Luke talks to some of the nurses who take us to general ward which has a lot beds together. She instructs me to lay down on one of them and says a doctor should attend us soon.

We wait for half an hour but there was no sign of any doctor. Just when Luke couldn't wait anymore and got up to call the doctor, a female voice interrupts him.

"Hello, my name is Dr. Gerald," she says brightly as she picks up the card attached to our bed that the nurse put there earlier. She is wearing dark blue scrubs and I assume she must be an attendant here. She then proceeds to examine me, and I move according to her instructions.. or at least i'm trying to do so. My palms are sweaty and my face looks like i've just eaten a piece of lime.

"Relax", she laughs lightly. I focus on Dr. Gerald's face instead. She must be in her early thirties I guess and she has such a pleasant voice. I could feel Luke's and Mila's eyes boring behind us and I blush so hard. Well, this is awkward. "I need to run some tests and then only I can give you accurate results.", she says.

"Oh.. does it.. like.. seem serious to you now?", I ask, trying my best to keep my voice from quivering.

"I can tell you best when the test results come", she smiles, giving nothing away. I swear I can never be a doctor. Whatever I feel always gets reflected on my facial expressions. But her, her face seems like one that has just come from a bubble bath after a long tiring day. I need to work on that.

"A nurse will take you to the second floor, i'll meet you there." she says and interrupts my train of thoughts.

"Umm.. can my friend come along?", I say and look towards Sawyer.

"Sure, he can wait outside. But i'm sorry the kid can't.", she looks at Mila.

"I'll wait with her", Luke offers and I make a face. He dragged me into this, he will be the one to stick with me through this.

"No, i need someone Luke.."

"Its okay", Dr. Gerald says. "She can go to our play area and wait there."

"That'll be cool, i guess", I tell her.

"Dr. Claire?", Dr. Gerald calls at a passing doctor with light blue scrubs. Intern. I see Luke stiffen and moves away to receive a call, facing away from us.

"Yes, Dr. Gerald?", she says as she comes to us.

"Can you take this kid to the play area?"

"What..? Me..?", Dr. Claire stammers and I rethink my decision of leaving Mila alone.

"Yes, Dr. Claire is there a problem?"

"No.. Yes, yes.. I was going to call Dr. Pierce. Dr. Karev needs her assistance on a case."

"You are assigned into Peds this week?"

"Yes.."

"Great then. Tell a nurse to page Dr. Pierce and switch your duties with another intern for today. I want you with me.", she instructs her and turns towards me. "She is one of the best interns here. Your daughter is in best hands.", she reassures.

Sure, I think sarcastically.

"C'mon little girl.", she tells Mila with forced enthusiasm. Mila looks at me with confusion.

"Its okay.. Go, i'll be there in sometime", I tell her with best reassuring face I can. She comes towards me and kisses my cheek and leaves with Dr. Claire.

Luke comes back just as both the doctors leave. "Mila?"

"With Dr. Claire. I don't trust that doctor.", I state. She looked so uncertain.

"Me neither", Luke says distractedly as he watches the retreating figure of Mila & Dr. Claire.

 **(Christian's POV)**

I hate everything about Sabrina. Even the things I liked before, I hate them now. She is never, Never with an underline, on time. I can't wait for tonight, i'm finally breaking up with her and nothing feels more right.

A man accidentally bumps into me. "What the fuck dude?", I shout, not intending to actually. Sabrina has me this level of fucked up.

"This is a hospital Mister, watch out you language and voice", he shoots back and leaves. I'm currently sitting in the waiting area of Sabrina's workplace and I hate it. I hate every bit of the hospitals. It just opens the doors of dark memories which I don't want to visit now and never. She is never not busy, I have to come here daily just to meet her. And meeting in a place with thousands of patients around? Not my ideal place i'd like to say.

A call from Ava's school distracts me. Oh shoot! I had to go pick up Ava today from school! Its Saturday today how dumb am I?! Kate and Elliot are going to kill me for this.

"Hello?"

"Uncle Chris where are you?!", Ava shouts at me and I hear murmurs from behind.

"I'm so sorry sweetie i'm caught up in work today! I'm sending Taylor in 10 minutes!"

"You said that last week too! You never come pick me up nowadays!", she whines. True. Dating Sabrina also will make my niece hate me.

"Next week I promise, babygirl! Taylor will take you to Escala and today, we'll watch a movie and food of your choice!" Every Saturday is Ava & my movie night. Kate and Elliot want a night to themselves, they say, so they drop Ava at Escala. And I love Ava's company, she is so lively!

"Pizza!", she shouts. Obviously.

"Something healthy?", I try to compromise.

"No", and I know she'll eat junk today.

"No telling Mom & Dad."

"Deal!", she squeals. "Also we'll watch Frozen." and I make a face.

"How about Moana?"

"No! Frozen. I want to see Olaf."

"Ava we've seen Frozen 8 times this year! Moana is better."

"I don't understand Moana!"

Like you understand Frozen, I say in my mind. "Okay.."

"Yay! Tell Taylor to bring candy also!"

"Don't push the boundaries Ava" but obviously, she disconnects the call by now.

I quickly dial Taylor's number and tell him to pick Ava up from school. Just as I put down my phone, I see Sabrina running towards me.

"Hey i'm Really very sorry I was caught up with work!", she says as she pecks my lips. I deepen the kiss but she pulls away. What?

"We have a company today", she says with a face and look down at the girl. I didn't see her before.

"Who is she?", I ask Sabrina but the girl beats her to it.

"Hello, I'm Mila", says the girl.

 ** _A/N: Leave your thoughts! Xoxo ~ Ava❤_**


	11. Chapter 11: Different Angle

**Chapter 11: Different Angle**

 **(Christian's POV)**

"Hello, I'm Mila", the girl says with an extra toothy grin as she sees me. Something about her warms me up. It seems I have seen her before but I cannot remember her. It isn't a pleasant feeling and I suddenly regret coming here to meet Sabrina rather than having a perfect evening with Ava. We would've watched movies, have our pizzas and have a good laugh. But no, I chose this.

"Hey lil' girl", I give her a fist so she could bump it. Its the normal meeting style that Ava & I use.

She looks at me with confusion and I chuckle a bit as I teach her how to fist bump.

"What are you doing here with Dr. Claire?", I ask Mila.

Sabrina clears her throat, drawing our attention towards her. "She came in with a patient and Dr. Gerald has ME take her to the play area", she makes actions with her hands to emphasize her point.

"And why isn't she there?", I ask her.

"Because I was already late and you were meeting me so I was like fuck it she'll roam with me.", she says and comes near me and plays with the top button of my shirt. Just a minute ago she was stopping me for a PDA and now look.

"Hey! Baby ears here!", I cover Mila's ears as she says that. Why doesn't this woman know when to shut up?! Surgeons are known for saying stuff mildly and discreetly and here she is, full on bitching mode about a pre schooler! In front of her!

"Oh shoot, sorry!", she quickly apologizes, having no regret in her eyes.

"Why are you so pissed off today?", I look into Sabrina's eyes.

"Because I was pulled out of an awesome surgery to go into oncology today!", she says with utter regret.

"Oncology isn't bad, I mean it is but you are helping more needy people today", I try and reassure her but of course she won't listen. That's what I hate about her. She never listens. Even when someone is comforting her, she would shout at them and then apologize a million times for it later. And she isn't that young to be this reckless.

"Oh shoot! I have to check of this patient Dr. Robbins told me. Oh God , why me!", she whines, completely ignoring me of course.

"Okay.. so.. I am gonna go now..", I was ready to leave, infact happy when she says-

"Can you please take care of this girl? Pretty please, with extra cheese, for me?!", she pleads and jerks Mila forward to which the girl frowns.

"But can't you just drop her at the play area?"

"I'm really late Chrissy, please, I love you, bye!" and she runs and I holler "Its not Chrissy!" while successfully get annoyed glances but she is gone. Never in my 34 years of life has someone called me 'Chrissy'. I was polite enough to say nothing but now there is a limit.

I look at the little girl and find her staring at me. Her stare gives me warm yet uneasy feeling. It's like she is reading me, but cannot decipher me. Her brows are furrowed and she tilts her head ever so slightly. She looks cute but mature for her age.

"So, lets sit and wait for Sab- Dr. Claire I suppose?", I suggest.

"Nah. That'll be too boring.", she says. "Take me to the play area the doctor was saying."

"I don't know..", it is true, i'll admit. I never really paid any attention to the hospital. I just come here to meet Sabrina, a task i've never done in my life - to go meet the person i'm dating.

"You're boring", she tuts.

"Hey!", I am not, i'm sure of that. Ava always says she loves my company.

"I'm bored."

"Let's go the hospital cafeteria?", I suggest. This place, I know. We've eaten lunch so many times there - Me and Sabrina. Though the hospital food sucks, eating somewhere not-so-famous is fun.

"Okay", and she starts walking ahead, paying no head to me.

"Hey do you even know where is it?" I catch up her pace.

"No. Duh." and I shake my head at her. This girl.

We enter the cafeteria and i'm grateful it is almost empty. It has these tables and chairs which are re arranged every week. It warm in here and I welcome the warmth.

I buy 2 sandwiches for us and a cup of coffee for me. I hand over her sandwich but she simply stares at my extended hand. She then alters her stare from my face to sandwich. I offer her once again but she makes no move to take it.

"Hello? Take you sandwich", I say.

"Mommy says I should not take food from strangers", she states.

"But I just bought it from the counter", I jerk my head towards it, "So technically I haven't made it."

"Still from a stranger", she turns around and takes a chair near one of the tables. I sigh and go behind her. She is too stubborn for her own good. I wonder how can someone tackle her! Ava isn't one bit like her. She is such a lively kid, understands whatever I say, or even Kate & Elliott for that matter. Sabrina, what have you got me into.

"So," I start again, trying to make a conversation as I sip on my coffee, "Where do you live?"

Seriously, Grey? She's a kid ask her something she can answer.

"Not here."

"And what does that mean?"

"Not in Seattle.", she looks me in the eye, deadpan.

"Okay, Jeez, stop looking at me", I put my hand between our eyes and she ducks down and looks at me again, but this time she has a smile on her lips and soon we engage in this playful banter. I laugh as she pins my palm down and makes this face with her tongue out.

"What do you love the most?"I say as she finally accepts the sandwich and starts munching on it.

"School!", she says with mayonnaise smeared on her lips.

"Seriously? Who likes school?", I never did for sure. Neither do I know anyone who does.

"I love it! I have so many friends and the teachers are so kind.", she rambles and you cam tell from her eyes she genuinely loves it. "What do you love the most?", she asks suddenly.

Me? I think about it for a while. I love a lot of things.. paintings, business, unhealthy obsession of being a dom but of course I can't say it to her.

"I love my niece the most. She is just like you. Too talkative.", and I smile as I say those words. Ava, truely, has taught me the meaning of life. She lives all her moments, laugh at the stupidest things and that has taught me to be a more open person.

Mila looks at me and grins. She gets my point. "My mommy says the same. I talk a lot", she giggles.

"How many people are there in your family?", I change the topic.

"Me and my mommy!" she grins with mayonnaise all over her lips.

"And your dad?" and she stops smiling suddenly. She resumes eating her sandwich and doesn't make an eye contact with me. She doesn't say anything and I get a hint she doesn't want to talk about it. I don't know why but that makes me curious about her, but I hold my tongue.

"Can we go now?", she finally says something after a long time. It wasn't what I wanted, but heck she is finally speaking. I was really worried I made her upset or something.

"Yeah", I say and my phone rings. "Wait a second", I hold up a finger as I answer the phone. Its Taylor.

"Uncle Chris!", Ava says.

"Hey babygirl!"

"I told Gail to make us pizzas today!" and i'm secretly grateful she doesn't want a take away.

"That's good! I'll come there in sometime. Meanwhile, you can play complete your homework."

"No! I'll watch TV! Please Uncle Chris?!"

"No. Complete your work, Ava. If you do, maybe we'll watch two movies today", I lure her.

"Pinky Promise?"

"Promise."

"I'll complete my work. Come home soon! Bye!"

"Bye babygirl", i say and disconnect the call.

"I don't like the name babygirl", Mila suddenly mentions. She was eavesdropping?

"Huh? why? Every girl likes the name", regardless of the age, I say in my head.

"Not me. I'm no babygirl"

"Why? You are small and a girl."

"No. Ew.", she pinches her nose and fans her face and I laugh at her actions.

"How 'bout I call you munchkin?"

"That's a sweet nickname. But no babygirl!"

"Don't worry, that name is reserved for my niece", I chuckle.

We exit the cafeteria and head towards the waiting area, where I desperately hope Sabrina is there. And she is.

"Where have you been?! Her mom is waiting for her outside!", she shouts in my ear, obviously unaware of her loud voice. Talk about irresponsibility. My hand twitches and though i've abandoned my playroom long back, I am ready to re open it just for her.

"Stop shouting", I warn her and she gets the hint.

"Sorry", that's her 14th 'sorry' in 12 hours, not that i'm counting. "Come Mila, let's go to your mommy", she extends her hand and she grabs it eagerly.

"Bye friend!", she tells me with sudden enthusiasm.

"Bye munchkin' and don't call me 'friend' that's weird", I say.

"What should I call you then?", she pretends to think. Sabrina waits impatiently, tapping her foot against the marble floor of the hospital.

I smile as I say, "Christian Grey" and I see her eyes widen before Sabrina whisks her away.

 _ **A/N: I feel a writer's block coming. And that is not good. I already need motivation to write because the exams have me exhausted but now I cannot even think of a proper storyline. When I try to think something, a different plot comes up and its so confusing for me. Nonetheless I have like 2 chapters written right now so I have one week to get over this. Last Writer's block lasted for 3 months.. any thoughts I can get over it faster?**_


	12. Chapter 12: The Breakup

**Chapter 12: The Breakup**

 **(Christian's POV)**

Why the fuck am i nervous? She isn't the first one, I constantly repeat to myself in my head. But she is the one who'll lift the whole restaurant on her head. I sigh. What night was it when I met Sabrina Claire?

"Uncle Chris, watch the movie!", Ava says as she pokes my cheek. I smile down at her. If it wasn't for Ava right now, I would probably not be in my senses.

As much as I hate this woman, she sure has taught me somethings in life. She is one of the most focused person i've ever met. Her goal is to be at par with the men in the country and I would be happy to fund her medical course but she doesn't want that. Even in a restaurant, in spite my numerous protests, she would split the bill. She wants to stand on her own feet, make her own identity and I appreciate it. But her attitude reminds me of her.. my ex-wife. They both are so similar, but yet different. She had the power to mold me, but I am not going to be molded by anyone now. That phase has ended, and I don't want to revisit it ever again.

"Ava, babygirl, I have to go somewhere..", I hate to leave her and I see her face visibly falls.

"Why?"

"It's important but I will surely make it upto you!"

"3 candies?", obviously.

"2?"

"3!"

"No, we had pizzas today. No more junk."

"Okay, 2!", she gives in this time.

"I'll be back soon", I say and I kiss her forehead. She is one of the best persons to hang out with. She is the one who lifted me up after my ex-wife. And it still angers me to take her name. Just imagining her name opens up a forbidden territory, territory of memories.

I get in the car as Taylor drives to the restaurant near Sabrina's hospital. I dislike this area but the food here is of good quality and i'm all for good food.

For the first time ever, Sabrina is here. Before time. And she looks breath-taking. She is wearing an emerald dress and has her blonde hair loose. She grins as she spots me. Its almost a mocking grin and rethink about the breakup.

"Hey Chrissy", she hugs me as I approach the table.

"For the final time, Sabrina, It's Christian.", I warn her in a low voice and she gasps and pulls back.

"But.. I was just.."

"No."

She shuts up finally, and I pull back her chair as she takes her seat. I sit opposite her as the waiter approaches us. I scan the menu but she wants to order this time.

"Oysters?", she asks me and winks at me discreetly. I smirk at her. Of course.

We order oysters and she starts talking about her cases today while I brace myself to tell her the real reason for this dinner. I don't want to create a scene but that seems impossible. I should've probably done it at Escala, in the privacy of my home.

"Sabrina", I say, "I wanna talk to you about something."

"Me too.", she says with a straight face.

"You go first", I say.

"So.. I was thinking.. that we have a connection..", she fumbles and I sense where this is heading. Not again. "What do you think about marriage?" And I make a face discreetly.

The very real reason I want to leave this. I hate that word, marriage. Marriage is nothing but an official promise to be broken, the promise of forever, which doesn't exist in real life. She knows my past, she knows I hate the word marriage, but she has been bringing the term up for a month. I don't want a marriage.

"Sabrina.. the reason why I set this up today.. was because I can't do this anymore."

She furrows her brows. "What?", she voices out her concern.

"I don't think we should continue this. You hardly have anytime for me-"

"Excuse me?", she says, a tone louder.

"Honestly, this isn't working out."

"Just say the proper words, Grey", she says through gritted teeth.

"I think we should break up.", I state and she throws water at me. Cliché.

"What the HELL, Grey?!", she shouts. By now we successfully garnered all the attention. Just great. "Where did I go wrong?!"

"We both did, our work won't allow us to meet frequently.", I say trying to keep my composure.

"We can tried!", she says. "You are insane. And an evil, spineless man who just wants sex out of women and use them to get out of your dank past."

"Too far, Sabrina, too far."

"That's the truth, Grey. I genuinely felt I can help you out of this. But no. Time to change your woman," she makes dramatic actions with her hands.

"Talk about changing. I'm your rebound Sabrina. And you want the money, not me", I spat. She deserves it. She gasps and her collects her stuff and leaves.

This was bound to happen. But I don't care. I am finally free from this relationship. I can finally have peaceful nights again.

 **(Ana's POV.)**

"Mila it has been a day since we came from the hospital and you haven't uttered a single word, what happened honey?", I say, concern clear in my voice. Since we came from the hospital yesterday, her face was visibly upset and in spite my numerous attempts at asking and cheering her up, she hasn't spoken anything. I don't understand, what happened suddenly?

Luke checked us into a five star hotel, despite me telling him I can no way afford it. "It's on me", he said and I couldn't argue. After all that has happened, I decided I won't argue, ever, with Luke. He deserves that.

"Sunshine, tell me", I plead but she focuses on the game she is playing.

"Okay let's play this game. When i say something, simply nod if i'm right and shake your head if i'm wrong. And I know you are listening to me right now so don't pass it as ignore", I say, the last statement more boldly. She doesn't respond and I sigh. This girl. She is a mini Christian. Every damn person around me is stubborn. First Christian and Luke and now Mila.

"Is it something to do with me?" I ask my first question. She doesn't even take her eyes off her game but after a second shakes her head silently. That's great! She's communicating!

"Is it about mommy's friend we met today?" and she shakes her head. So it isn't about Luke either.

"Did something happen in the hospital?" she doesn't say anything this time. And I know something happened then. But what?

"What happened there Mila?" Still silence. It's getting on my nerves and I take a deep breath to avoid bursting out. Is it bullying? Did she break something? Did she steal something and now regret it? My mind rummage through every possibility that can happen but I cannot come up with anything solid.

"Are you going to tell me about this?" She doesn't give the answer right away but when she does, i'm happy that it's positive. "Tell me then, sunshine. I'm not going to be mad."

She looks at me and keeps my phone aside. She looks me straight in the eye as she says, "I met daddy today."

And I simply stare at her. What does she mean by that? She met Christian? How? When? Where? What the hell? I don't think she has ever seen Christian. How can she meet him?

"Daddy...? Umm.. are you sure.. it-"

"I'm sure. He was daddy."

"Who was daddy?"

"The man Dr. Claire met. We didn't go to the play area at all. Dr. Claire took me to meet a man and then left the place. So me and that man were together the whole time and when I was leaving, he said his name was Christian Grey."

Oh My.

Holy Cow!

My inner goddess is so shocked that that she literally faints without giving her pesky advice.

I look at her, baffled, unable to frame a proper sentence to ask. This situation is a straight up movie plot. Mila met.. Christian, her daddy, today, at the hospital.

But why didn't the doctor complete her duty of taking Mila to the play area? Why did she meet Christian? Why was Christian there?

"Why are you upset, Mila? You wanted to meet daddy right? Well you did!", I say after a long time, trying to keep a cheery face. She should be happy, why is she so upset to the point of not talking?

"He kissed Dr. Claire. I think Dr. Claire and daddy like each other."

I look at her, a little embarrassed. She is too smart for her own good. But kissed? Does that mean.. is it the same girlfriend Luke was talking about? Then he should've identified her when she first came to us.

Everything suddenly gets clear in my head. When Dr. Claire came to us, Luke went away. And his distracted behavior afterwards says it all. He knew Mila was going with Dr. Claire. He knows Dr. Claire is Christian's girlfriend.

A girlfriend or a sub?, my inner goddess enquires.

True. I still don't know if that doc is a girlfriend or a sub. Bile rises in the back of my throat and I feel like throwing up. The chances of all this happening seems so impossible. And i'm made at Luke for not telling me about her before.

"Mommy?", Mila says and brings me back from my train of thoughts.

"So, how do you feel about all of this?"

"I don't feel good. That doctor is not very good. She's.. stupid", she giggles at her own statement.

"And about meeting daddy?"

"Daddy is.. funny. He talks a lot." Christian? Talks a lot? How did he even agree to talk care of a random child his girlfriend forced him to do?

"And?"

"He calls me munchkin' ", okay, this cannot be Christian. "But he calls his niece babygirl. How can someone agree to that?!" And she starts again on how babygirl is such a bad nickname there is. But what niece is she talking about? Maybe Kate and Elliott's had a daughter? Or Mia and Ethan?

"Okay, stop. I know babygirl is a very bad nickname. Jeez, Mills!", I interrupt her speech.

"And you know what mommy?"

"What?"

"Daddy looks really good. Like REALLY good", she makes a big round with hands to exaggerate her point and I laugh. Of course.

"Okay, Mila, c'mon get ready for bed. Brush your teeth. I need to make a call." Luke isn't going to hear the end of it. I'm secretly happy that Mila and Christian met, and they liked each other, at least i'm assuming that Christian liked her too. But he should've told me about this stupid Dr. Claire. I had a feeling she was a bad influence.

I dialled the number but no one picked up the call. I dialled again but still, nothing.

Suddenly, the room doorbell rang? Who could it be now?

I opened the door. It is Luke, in person.. with.. Gail?

He brought Gail?! Oh My.

 _ **A/N: I'll update weekly now instead of twice a week. I'm working on my writer's block and I have the next chapter written and i'm trying to make it perfect. This is the maximum length I can write and tbh this chapter is pretty long, its 2000 words! Hope you are liking the story, it gets better in future i swear. Xoxo ~ Ava❤**_


	13. Chapter 13: Someone's Not Angry

**Chapter 13: Someone's Not Angry.**

 **(Ana's POV)**

I am frozen at the entrance, my throat parched as I look in front of me. My eyes get watery as Gail gives a big smile when she sees me. She comes forward and gives me a tight hug.

"I missed you", she whispers in my ear.

"Oh Gail!", I break into a sob as I engulf her in my bear hug.

She should be angry at me, not talk to me, but she is here, supporting me.. forgiven me. I never really thought how she must've felt after I left, she has been so close to me always, my best resort when I had arguments with Christian.

"I'm sorry Gail", I cannot stop blabbering.

"Hush. It's okay honey. How have you been?", she says as she pulls away.

"Just.. me I guess", I shrug, wiping my tears away.

"Sawyer told me about your daughter?", she says with a hint of smile.

"Yes!", I smile as I invite them inside. "Mila?", I holler.

"Yes?", she comes out of the bathroom while still brushing her teeth.

"Go rinse first!" and she runs inside when she sees Gail and Luke.

She comes out again with a puzzled look. "This is mommy's best friend Mrs. Jones", introduce her to Gail.

"Actually, its Mrs. Taylor", says Gail shyly and I look at her.

"Oh my, Gail, congratulations!", I gush. "When did you and Taylor get married?"

"Last year", she beams.

"I'm so happy for you!" and she smiles widely. "Oh, and this is Mila", I introduce Mila to her.

"I know. Sawyer told Taylor and me about everything." and we look at Sawyer who ducks his head awkwardly. "Okay enough with the introductions. I'll talk to you about everything Ana but first, you need to get ready." Gail says hurriedly as she puts the bag in her hand on the dressing table.

"Ready for what..?", and I notice Luke also puts another bag on the bed and removes a dress from it.

"What is going on?", I ask, confused, as Mila sits in a corner and watches everything silently.

"You are going clubbing with Sawyer while i'll be taking care of Mila tonight", Gail states and I stare at her. Clubbing? Me? What is happening?

"What?!"

"Mr. Grey is going clubbing tonight with his brother. Gail, here thought it'll be great if you go too since he broke up with his girlfriend yesterday.", Luke says something for the first time tonight and I remember about Mila & Christian's encounter.

"Luke why the hell didn't you tell me Dr. Claire was Christian's girlfriend?"

"Huh?"

"Mila met Christian yesterday!" and everyone goes silent. Gail is the first one to break it.

"What are you saying?"

"Yes! The doc went to meet Christian who apparently happened to be in the same hospital as us and left her with him!"

"I told you that woman is a bad influence for Mr. Grey", Gail shot her accusation at Luke too.

"Hey! Stop it! She wasn't MY girlfriend, jeez people!", he feigns annoyance. "Also, Ana,I'm so sorry, I had no time to stop it. That Dr. Gerald just called Sabrina and if she saw me with you she would've immediately told Mr. Grey and that would cause me a string of questions which I didn't want.." he trails off.

"SO YOU LEFT MY DAUGHTER WITH THAT WOMAN?", I shout.

"I said i'm sorry!", he defends.

"Stop you both!", Gail intervenes. "We are already late. Sawyer, give her the dress. Ana go wear it now.", she orders.

I make a face as Luke hands me the shimmery black dress. This sudden change of plans is making nervous. I'm going to meet Christian today.

I go inside the bathroom and put on the dress which hugs me perfectly. It stops mid-thigh and I feel a little awkward. Its been so long since I wore a dress. They are usually expensive and well, I had no occasion to wear it. Our days back in New Mexico consists of nothing but wandering in our block.

I come out of the bathroom as Gail looks at me with amazement. But she is alone in the room.

"Where are Mila and Sawyer?", I ask.

"Sawyer took her for a walk. They should be back in half an hour", Gail says. "You look amazing."

"Thank you", I say, shyly.

"Now let me see what can be done with this short hair. Christ, why did you cut them so short?", Gail says as she tells me to sit near dressing table.

"Convenience", I state and she gets it.

"Ana.. Sawyer told me about everything", Gail says a little nervously, emphasizing on 'everything'. I understand what is she saying. I don't say anything, hinting her to go ahead.

"I'm happy that you are here Ana, Mr. Grey can help you. And you are not alone", she gushes.

"I don't need help, Gail. I'm only here for Mila.", I state the truth.

"What do you mean?"

"After whatever that has happened in past, I don't want to put burden on anyone. I have made amends with what is happening. I don't want Mila to suffer with me. I'm here to drop Mila off with Christian. I don't know if he will accept Mila or no, but i'm not running this time. At least, for Mila's sake. And if I am not running, better I try my luck with Christian." and I see tears in Gail's eyes.

"Don't do this again, Anastasia. Let us help you. You are not burden, you are family."

"I lost that position long back", I whisper, tears brimming in my own eyes.

"Meet Mr. Grey, Ana, he will help you. I know you broke him. Right now, he is just a corpse roaming, without any emotions. If you leave again, he won't be able to survive."

"As far as I know, Christian is doing just fine", I say, venom oozing in my voice as I remember about his girlfriends.

"That is a façade, he is masking his emotions. I know him too well for his own good.",she says and I don't say anything. That's true. Of course, even before I came into his life, Gail took care of him real good.

We both don't speak anything for next twenty minutes. She does my make up and curls my hair. Though I don't the point of curls, I like my hair straight.

When she is finished, I look in the mirror and stare in amazement. There is a little color to my usual pale cheeks and my lashes curled. My hair goes perfect with my dress. Its like seeing an entirely new version of me. And I love what I am seeing.

"One thing", Gail says and brings knee length boots from her bag. I wear them just when the doorbell rings.

"You look so pretty mommy!", Mila exclaims as soon as she enters. I beam at her in return.

"Let's go I guess?", Luke says awkwardly.

"Sure", I chuckle and as I start walking towards the door, my stomach feels sick. I am meeting Christian tonight. Anxiety kicks in and I want to hide in a corner. Why do i feel nervous? He is my husband.. ex-husband.. whatever.

Luke drives to the club and I gasp when I see the amount of people out there. It's literally crowded. I don't know if I can find Christian here.

Luke parks the car and I get out, eager to get fresh air in my system. I need to think clearly.

"I'll be close behind you. You can call me if you need me", Luke says as he comes behind me. I nod, not trusting my voice right now.

Luke takes me straight to the entrance, avoiding the big queue. He talks with the bartenders and they look at us and let us in. Smooth.

The club is jam packed. I look behind, ensuring Luke is with me. He motions me to go forward. I take a deep breath and start walking straight to the bar. Though I don't want to have alcohol in my system, I still need to get hydrated before I pass out of dehydration.

As I come near the bar, I hear her voice. Even when the music is blaring with numerous people chatting and shouting, there is no way I can miss her voice. It gives me chills and I bite my bottom lip to control my emotions. Just what I needed today.

I brace myself at the bar counter and turn my head to the right. Even though her figure is hidden by another woman in front of her, I can never forget her voice. She is the one who ruined our life, and still going to, i'm sure of it.

They suddenly get up and leave the bar. But that is enough to give me a glimpse of her. Anger flares within me as I watch her retreating figure. Why the hell is she here? To destroy my life again?

I spin around and locate Luke. He backs a step or two when he sees my angry face.

"Why on earth you didn't mention that Elena fucking Lincoln is going to be here?!", I shout.

 _ **A/N: I know this is kinda a filler chapter, but it was needed. But hold on! For the love of Mila, duh, next chapter is going to be REAL good! I have written half of next chapter and is it possible that your heart literally thumps while you write your own story?! And also, I altered the story to your suggestions. So keep commenting your views! Xoxo ~ Ava❤**_


	14. Chapter 14: The Meet

**Chapter 14: The Meet.**

 **(Ana's POV)**

"Why on earth you didn't mention Elena fucking Lincoln is going to be here?!", I shout on top of the blaring music, trying my best to keep the anger in control. Last thing I want is to make a scene and we already got a few heads turned towards us.

Luke's eyes widen a bit and he blinked at me. "She is here?", he says with surprise.

"Yes!"

"I don't know why is she here, Ana. If you want I can keep her away from you."

"Nevermind, she just left", or at least I she did. Luke nods his head towards the bar, encouraging me to search for Christian.

"Did you find Christian or Elliott?", I ask.

"No."

"Are they even here?"

"Yes", he states and I gesture him to go ahead.

"I saw Taylor outside. He knows we are here"

"Oh.." and I suddenly have an urge to meet him.

"Don't even think, Ana. Not everyone is Gail", he shakes his head as he answers my unasked question. I sigh at his response. Of course.

"What will Christian think of me, Luke?", I sigh.

"Honestly, I don't know. But I want to say, be ready for whatever his reaction may be."

I purse my lips and turn around and go to the bar again. I order orange soda, which of course costs a fortune here, but I don't care.

I sip on my drink and think of all the possible reasons how could Christian react.. that's if I can search him in this swarm of sweaty humans.

I imagine walking upto him when I find his perfect structure with his tousled hair as he runs his hand in them. I imagine his grey eyes meet mine and immediately smile when he sees me. I imagine him coming towards me with his perfect stride, circling his arms around my waist as he kisses my lips in perfect synchronization. And then whisper, "I've been waiting for you Anastasia."

But alas, this is no Disney and i'm no princess.

"Orange soda?", a voice behind me asks and I freeze.

Oh. My.

Christ.

I can never forget this. voice. I tighten my hold around the glass and almost stop breathing. My eyes frantically search for Luke, but I find him nowhere.

Shit. Where the fuck is my rescue?!

"You look lonely", he says behind me. He brings his hand where my hands are literally clutching the glass for my dear life, but he doesn't touch me. I can feel his breath on the back of my neck, but I don't move at all. It feels like if I move, everything will be over. My throat is so dry that I cannot even find my own damn voice.

His hand inches closer but suddenly withdraws as he orders 2 more glasses of orange soda.

"Don't be so coy", he tries again but I sense irritation in his voice this time. Of course, nobody rejects him.

Fucking turn, both my inner goddess and subconscious cheers.

Should I? Or should I just leave?

I was so lost in my internal dilemma that I nearly jump when his cool fingers touch the back of my palm. He didn't grab my hand or anything, just the tips of his fingers touching the back of my hand.

"Go away", I whisper, loud enough so he can hear me.

No! my inner goddess is literally bouncing.

"Why? You look so lonely, you definitely need someone tonight", he inches closer.

Now is the time. I gave him an option to leave, he didn't. I want to laugh at the pun I just made.

Taking a deep breath, I turn.

My heart is thumping against my ribs, and I stop breathing as my eyes meet his grey eyes.

To say Christian was shocked, would be an understatement. I mean he was practically hitting on his wife.. ex-wife. Though i'd give his flirting skills a straight A.

A number of emotions flitted on his face. Shock, hurt, pain, anger.. and if I am not mistaken.. even relief.

"Anastasia", he whispers.

"Christian", I try to smile but to no avail.

He is still the same. The same Christian I left broken 6 years back. I take my time and drink in his features. His grey eyes look straight into mine, like he is reading my soul. I want to reach forward, touch him, but i'm afraid to do so. I don't want to get out of this trance. It's as if I even move a finger he would go away.

But then he moves his eyes aways from mine. He backs a little, shakes his head, murmuring something to himself which I cannot understand.

And then he turns and leaves.

What the hell just happened?

I run behind, searching for Luke simultaneously. Where the hell is he?!

Christian is out of the door, going towards the parking area.

"Christian!", I holler. He doesn't stop.

"Christian just stop for a second, please!" its so darn difficult to run in heals! I should've thought this through.

But he stops. He actually stops! Though he doesn't turn around, but I know he heard me. I stop a few inches behind him. I cannot find Taylor anywhere either. Where are they?!

We are near his car but he makes no attempt to open the car. Maybe he does want to listen to me.

 **(Christian's POV.)**

My legs are shaking as fury surges through me. She is here. Anastasia fucking Steele is here. Not just here but literally few inches behind me. But she doesn't touch me.

How can I be so stupid and not identify her. It's the hair, definitely the short hair that deceived me. If I knew she is going to be here, I wouldn't even make a damn plan to come here. I don't even want to be in the same vicinity as hers.

"Christian.. I am sorry..", she breathes.

I don't saw anything. I focus on my breathing instead to be calm. What is she even doing in Seattle? Didn't she go to Phoenix or something?

"I know I was stupid Christian. Just please listen to me", she pleads. Well, yeah I am, though I fucking don't know why.

"Listen!", she urges. I don't want to look at her face. I don't know what will I do if I turn around. I don't want to create a scene here. I shove my hands into the pocket of my jeans.. its cold here.

I cannot help but picture her face when her blue eyes met mine. It was almost as if her aura was mingled with mine. Her hair was short.. why did she cut her locks? They looked perfect on her pale skin..

Focus, Grey.

"I know you are listening to me so might as well look at me", she touches my arm and I shove it away. My breathing spikes when I realise I do want to turn, I do want to look at her again.

"I'm sorry.. Christian..", she repeats and I sense she is crying. Half of me wants to comfort her, but my other angry half wins.

I brace myself as I turn around and look at her. She looks paler, if that's possible. Her arms hug her slender body. She is cold. I want to reach out, but I refrain to do so. She doesn't deserve my protection anymore.

"What do you want? Why are you here?", speaks my annoyance.

"Just to make the wrongs right", she whispers.

"Honestly, Anastasia? I don't want to waste my time figuring out your words" and she looks taken aback by my curtness.

"I want you to meet someone", she states, more boldly. Meet? Who? Her boyfriend or.. husband?

"But I don't want to meet anyone."

"Trust me, you want to.", and I see a hint of smile on her face.

"Trust me, I don't.", I mock her.

She smiles a little at my imitation. "I missed you.."

"I wish I could say the same.", I reply and try to search for Taylor or Elliott. Where are they?

She looks hurt but quickly composes herself as she sees me looking at her. "Of course", she muttered.

"Excuse me?"

"You were so busy enjoying you night with that bad old Mrs. Robinson", she hits back. Where did that come from?

"What the hell Ana! First of all that's none of your business anymore and second atleast she is still a friend of mine instead of leaving me.", I hit back too, harder.

Elena always always helped me get over the break up. Sets me up with a girl sometimes. But tonight, she came purely out of friendship. At least she stood with me in my darkest times.

"Oye, Grey! Let's go", says a familiar female voice as another pair of arms pull me. I see as Elliott takes my one hand and Kate takes another.

Ana's eyes widen as she sees Kate. But Kate ignores her and they start pulling me towards my car.

"It's too cold right now. Ava must be waiting for us", says Kate and I sneak a glance at Anastasia.

"Christian please! Tomorrow?", Ana urges too.

"Guess what Miss Coward, he doesn't want to meet you ever again", Kate replies, disinterested, and I let them pull me away. I'm not going to lie, I am angry that Kate intervene but secretly grateful I can pass the last question. I don't want to meet anyone.

Though i'm still furious how today turned, I can't help the warmth that spread through me. Maybe she did live up to her letter.

 ** _A/N: Holy Shit i literally forgot to upload lol! I was binge watching 'The ACE Family' on YouTube they are so cute haha! Also, as promised, this was good and I hope i lived upto your expectations. Also, i'm not in town next week and i don't know if i'll find internet. But i'll try and upload soon i promise. Xoxo ~ Ava❤_**


	15. Chapter 15: The Clear Picture

_A/N: Merry Christmas Folks!❤ And yes, i'm alive, hallelujah! Wanted to give a little Christmas gift, so here's this chapter which is my second favorite after 10th one._

 **Chapter 15: The Clear Picture.**

 **(Christian's POV)**

I pace back and forth in my study, can't help but rewind yesterday like a carousel. I met Anastasia. Anastasia Rose Steele. The same woman who shattered my heart into a million pieces 6 years ago.. without an explanation. And her stupid letter is barely called an explanation.

But why is she here? She mentioned something about me meeting someone. Who is that someone? A boyfriend? Perhaps husband?

It can't be, my subconscious says.

We are still legally married. She can't marry anyone until she gets a divorce from me. Something feels different when I think about the word 'divorce' but I can't quite place it. I'm supposed to be angry remember? But in reality, i'm curious. I still don't want Anastasia back in my life, but I do want to know where did she hide in these past years and why did she come here again.

A knock on the door distracts me. I call the person inside.

"You called, Mr. Grey?", Taylor says, confused.

"Yes, go get the car ready, we are going to the office", I state. He looks at me dumfounded.

"Mr. Grey, umm.. today is a sunday..", he trails off, probably thinking that his boss is out of his brain. True. I'm losing my shit right now. Plus I have paperwork to do, maybe that will distract me.

"Thank you for being my calendar but can you now go get the car out from the fucking parking lot?", I say, venom oozing in my voice. I don't intend to be this rude, specially not with Taylor.. after all he was there for me every second in these 6 years, literally been a call away.

He widens his eyes a little and mutters a timid apology and leaves immediately. I feel so disgusted with myself right now.. what is happening? Is this all Anastasia? Or is it just my mind bugging me to constantly to think about her and ruin my day?

I get into the car and Taylor drives me to my office building. I sit comfortably in the backseat, still going through the last night's happenings.

I met her. She looks so much thinner than before.. her hair.. why is it short? I loved her long locks. Random memories of me braiding her hair comes to my mind. I gulp and shove it to the corner of my mind, hell I throw the thought away.

After I left her, when Kate, Elliot and me got into the car, there was utter silence. No one spoke anything at all.. and I was surprised at Kate's reaction. Anastasia's departure broke not only me but her too. Unlike me, she wasted years thinking what could've been the reason for Ana's sudden escape? As she always say, and I quote, "so pure and innocent that can put a baby to shame." Guess she wasn't that pure and innocent as such.

Taylor suddenly stops the car and I look outside to an unfamiliar place. Wait, this isn't my office?

"The car is out of gas", Taylor mutters the answer to the unasked question and gets out. I sigh and get out as he refills the gas. Taylor has been weird since yesterday. His whole demeanor screams something's off but I can't place it. He explained his disappearance yesterday saying 'Sawyer had some issues' and that's all. Not only him, my whole staff is acting weird. I hardly have been seeing of Sawyer lately, what issues is he facing? Hope they aren't too serious.

I was fidgeting with phone when something in the park opposite the gas station catches my eye. Or rather, someone. She is perked up on a bench with her head in her hands. Where have I seen her now? I rack my brains.. i've seen her somewhere.

The hospital.

The girl!

What was her name..? Mina.. Mia.. something from M.. Mila! Her name is Mila! But what is she doing there? All alone?

I make my way to the park to where she is sitting. A man is hovering over her and I look at him straight in the eye and he disappears, probably having wrong intentions about the girl. The park is too crowded and too big.. maybe she is lost?

"Hey munchkin'!", I say enthusiastically, in spite my mind is anything but enthusiastic.

She looks up, her blue eyes meeting mine. She gasps as she sees me but says nothing. I see her eyes glistening and conclude she must be crying.

"What happened babygirl?"

"I lost my mom and i'm not a babygirl", and she makes me laugh. This girl hates the nickname with passion.

I duck down to her level so she doesn't have to strain herself and look up.

"Lost?"

"There is a game thing going on and mom brought me here so we can enjoy but i-", she sobs, "-lost her".

It breaks me to see the girl crying. Her smile is one of the most prettiest thing I remember.

"Let's search for your mother, she must be worried sick too."

I stand up and offer her my hand. She simply looks at my extended hand and stares back at me.

"What? Don't you want to search for your mom?", I furrow my brows.

"I tried, but I couldn't", she says, deadpan.

"I'm helping you this time, c'mon munchkin'!", I offer her my hand again but again she doesn't make a move to take it.

"Why?", she asks.

Why? Because i'm stupid. Because I am going to work on a Sunday. Because a certain woman's thoughts has me so fucked up that searching for an almost stranger girl's stranger mother sounds more interesting.

I want to say all that, but I don't.

"You question a lot. Look, if someone's ready to help you, there is no need to be formal. Take and make the most of any opportunity you get." I impart my wise knowledge.. to a 5 year old. Yeah, no, I need to call Dr. Flynn right now.

More confused look meets my eye but this time she finally takes my hand that was in the air for the past 10 minutes and starting to hurt.

I get a call from Taylor, probably wondering where his shitty boss went. I tell him i'm off to do some work and he should probably leave and i'll call him when i'm done.

Together we walk to the area that has the words 'Carnival' on it which basically is a lot of food and game stall together in a place. And did I mention is overly crowded? Christ, it smells like sweat here.

"How does your mother look?", I ask.

"She is the most prettiest woman", she replies with a toothy grin. Atleast she isn't crying anymore.

"Okay many woman can be pretty.. can I get a more accurate description?"

"Acu rate?", confusion spreads in her eyes.

"Means more.. detailed explanation?"

"Oh. She is.. this woman's height." she points to woman who is making some kind of weird twisty with potatoes. God knows what is going on here.

"She has eyes and hair like me!" she continues. "And she is very pretty", she adds.

Okay so a pretty woman with blue eyes and brunette hair who should be around 5'2". Why does the description look familiar?

And then I know. Anastasia. Literally everybody around me is making me think of Anastasia. So apparently Mila's mom has features of Anastasia. Great coincidence.

Suddenly, Mila let goes of my hand and goes to a person filling balloons with helium. She looks at it with so much concentration it makes me crack up.

"You want one?" and she nods in affirmation.

"Which colour?",I ask and I look up at the multi-coloured balloons.

"Blue", she replies immediately. I look at her, a bit confused. Every girl her age likes pink.. why blue?

"Why blue?", I voice my question.

"Because my teacher in my old school give girls pink candies while boys get blue. And I wanted blue because they look so much better! Then my friend said babygirls like pink and I hate babygirls and so I don't like pink!" and even though her reason seems childish, she has a point. The baised blue-for-boys and pink-for-girls. Something tells me this girl will break stereotypes in future too.

I get her the blue balloon and tie the string on her finger so she doesn't have to hold it.

We start searching for mommy-dear again and i'm starving. Shit, did I actually forget to have breakfast today? I did indeed. My whole morning consisted of thinking solely about my ex-wife.

My negative part of mind started winning over my thoughts and I think we are never going to find Mila's mom. I mean look at the swarm of humans here! I probably need to shout her name or something to get her attention.

That reminds me, I don't even know her name.. Mila's mom. And I still don't know about her dad. The conversation at the hospital flashes back and the silence that I was met with when I asked Mila about her father had me curious about her. But again, curiosity kills the cat.

Did i just answer my own question?

Probably.

"Hey munchkin' what is your mom's -"

"Mommy!", she cries suddenly.

"Mommy?", I look at her but she is looking ahead. She leaves my hand and runs towards someone.

I look upto see her mommy whose face is currently hidden by the balloon I got for Mila as she hugs her child tightly.

Should I just leave silently or give her mom a piece of my mind on how not to leave a child's hand in a carnival with this many people? I'd go with option two, always. I'm no saint who'll do the deeds selflessly.

"Hello ma'am, you should really take more care -" I say as I approach the duo.

Blue eyes meet mine when she hears my voice. And not just any blue eyes, HER blue eyes. Her eyes looks panicked but relieved too.

"You!", she says, utterly shocked.

"You!", I say at the same time, equally, even more shocked if possible.

I look between Anastasia and Mila, back and forth, trying to put pieces together.

Anastasia is Mila's mother? Anastasia is a mother?

Suddenly, everything gets clear. I mean you don't need rocket science to get this straight.

Anastasia is Mila's mother. She left me six years ago. Mila is five year's old. So that either means she is adopted or... she is my child.

And something tells me its option two. It's always option two.

 _ **A/N: Did anyone notice I changed my writing style a bit? I'm bad with humor but i tried my best to not make this extremely sob story. Also, i was a bit disappointed with response to last chapter, it was supposed to be a special one but.. okay.. i guess. Happy Holidays again! Xoxo ~ Ava❤**_


	16. Chapter 16: Daughter

_•Before the year dies down, here's the last update of 2017! Enjoy the chapter!❤_

 **Chapter 16: Daughter**

 **Christian's POV**

I stare at Anastasia, dumbfounded. Mila is my.. daughter? The thought seems foreign to me. Maybe she isn't. It's always me assuming too much.

Anastasia looks at me.. knowing exactly what is going on in my mind. She always had this ability to tear my thoughts naked with just her gaze. She knows i've put pieces together. She know my inner turmoil. She knows that I know. But she makes no move at all.

It is just us now, our gaze fixated on each other, trying to read each other, trying to get the answers to the unasked questions. The world around us is ignored, i want answers and she knows that.

Mila's voice disturbs our stare. "Mommy?", she shakes Anastasia, but that word is enough to send shivers down my spine.

"Anastasia?", I whisper.. clearly not being able to find my voice. Even through the loud chatter of people around us, she hears me and whips her head towards my direction.

"Not here", she says in a timid voice and takes Mila's hand and starts walking past me, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

Huh?

"Anastasia!", I catch upto her.

"What?"

"Tell me.. _yes or no_?", I emphasize on the two words.

"I don't know what are you talking about", she says dryly, but in reality, its the opposite. She knows exactly what am I implying to.

"Don't play with me", I say in a low voice and I hear her gasp.

"Not here, please", and I sigh.

I make a quick call to Taylor to come pick us up. Apparently, he parked the car outside instead of leaving. Good.

"You are coming with me", I say to Anastasia and she doesn't argue but nods slightly.

As we near the car, I see Taylor eyes bulge a little. He doesn't say anything but I can see his face change to that of displeasure. He has always been good with hiding his emotions but i've been with him for longer than he can remember.

I hear Anastasia mutter a "Hi" in a soft voice, barely audible to which Taylor nods stiffly. Oddly, he doesn't react when he sees Mila. I expected him to be shocked or surprised or anything but not a straight face. Wait.. does he..

I shove that thought to the back of my mind. Taylor wouldn't do that, right? He would tell me if he knew something but then again he is been acting weird lately.. Jeez, i'm over thinking a bit too much.

"Escala?", Taylor asks as we sit in the back seat. Mila is currently sitting in the middle, between Anastasia and me. And I don't argue. I need my space.

"Actually, Hotel Palm View, please?", she looks at me rather than Taylor.

Taylor looks in the rearview mirror discreetly and and I nod a slight yes.

"You are staying there?", I ask. I figure she doesn't have a place to stay here.

"Yeah..", it looks like she wants to elaborate more but she doesn't and neither do I encourage her to go ahead.

As Taylor drives to the hotel, I cannot help but steal discreet glances towards Anastasia and Mila.

It is the first time that I look at Mila closely that I can point out the similarities. Like Mila said earlier, her eyes and hair are the same colour as Anastasia. And her features.. Holy Shit she actually mirrors me! How dumb could I be to not notice it before?

Suddenly, Mila looks up at me and smiles as she catches me staring at her. She calls me towards her with her hands and I duck down to her level.

"Why is everybody so quiet? Aren't you and mommy going to talk?", she says and I can't help but smile. She is 5 years old but she talks like a 15 year old.

"Well.. yeah.. we are going to.", I reply and quickly add, " _I need to._ " I look at Anastasia and she is looking out of the window, absorbed in her own thoughts.

To say the silence is killing me right now would be an understatement of the year. I need to talk, I said to Mila, but I don't know how to start. What should I say? I know Mila is my daughter? My heart races at the word 'Daughter'.. there have been nights where I would constantly think about a family of my own? How would I be to them? Would I really be a responsible husband once we had children? Would I be able to be a good father? Life threw a curve ball of course, separating Anastasia and me in the process.. and now again rejoining us with an addition I wasn't expecting at all.

As Taylor stops in front of the entrance of the hotel, Anastasia opens the door hurriedly and ushers Mila out and then herself. I get out and together we walk through the glass doors into the lobby where something catches my eye. Or should I say, someone catches my eye?

There, seated on the plush sofa, is none other then Sawyer himself. And as if to confirm my thoughts, he looks up at me and freezes.

What the fuck is he doing here?

Is he with Ana, plotting against me?

"Mr. Grey", Sawyer greets curtly as I approach him.

"You better have a good explanation of your presence here", I spit out.

He nods in affirmation. "Taylor texted me to be here." That's it. That is all he says.

"Why-", but before I could complete my statement, Mila rushes towards us, Sawyer to be exact, and hugs his legs.

"Lukey!", she says as she looks up at him.

"Hey Mila-bear!", he says as he picks her up. "I can explain..", he says as he looks towards me but I don't need it.

If Mila calls Sawyer 'Lukey' , then definitely they have met before. And something tells me its not just once but several times that they have met before.

"Save it", my mouth turns into displeasure as Anastasia approaches us.

"Luke, can you please take care of Mila for sometime?", she says and Sawyer nods.

"Are you hungry?", Sawyer asks Mila and she nods furiously. "Lets go grab food!", he tells her and together they go to the hotel's restaurant.

"C'mon", Anastasia says to me and I walk with her to her room. If I say that the journey towards her room was normal, you'd call me a liar.

Once we are inside her room, I burst out. I cannot keep up with the mystery anymore. I need answers now.

"Who is Mila?", I ask her without preamble as she sits on the couch.

"Make yourself comfortable first", she replies.

"Can you stop with the fucking teasing and reply to me for once?!", I say, trying my best to get hold of my emotions.

"She is my daughter," and I look at her her to explain further. I know it, I just need to hear it. Need to hear it from her mouth.

She searches for something on my face and when she is assured about it, she says it.. says those words I need to hear.

"She is _our_ daughter."

 _She is our daughter._

Those words keep reverberating through my mind, again and again, like its a logical question i'm trying to figure out. But its just a simple statement.

She is our daughter. She is _my_ daughter. Mila, the stranger girl I met & ate a sandwich with in the hospital.. is my daughter.

I feel numb, it seems like there is a lot to take in. Anastasia just confirmed what I figured out.. but I think there was a tiny part of me which didn't want her to confirm it.

Numbness suddenly morphs into anger as reality hits me. Why am I feeling these wave of emotions? Shouldn't it be my dear ex-wife who was the mastermind?

"Why did it take you _so_ long to finally break this information which, apparently, is not so important for me to know according to you?!", I say after a long time, venom laced in my voice.

"It isn't like that! Of course it is important, heck it is a life that we made!", she defends.

"So since it seems you already are enlightened with this knowledge, enlighten _me_ why didn't you tell me about your pregnancy!"

"I did!.. or atleast I kind of did!"

"What is 'kind of'?! It is either yes or no!" By now, we are shouting on top of our voices. I'm surprised no one complained about us or something.

"I did it indirectly, Christian. Remember the night before I left.. I had a conversation about having kids?"

Of course I do. I remember every single detail we spent together. And that conversation? That was extremely random and weird. After she left.. I thought about the conversation again and tried to make an explanation out of it but couldn't reach to a conclusion so I dropped it.

"Yeah.."

"I told you indirectly about it."

"Why not _directly_?" Is she stupid? Is she REALLY going to tell me she left me from that conversation?

"I was afraid Christian. I thought you would pin the idea of abortion."

"Why the hell would you think that?!"

Jesus Christ, is she serious?!

"Because.. because.." she trails off.

" _Because_?", I prompt.

"I overheard you talking to your mother about how you didn't want kids then.. that you weren't ready to share me."

A distant memory of the same flashes in my mind. Yeah, true I had that conversation with Grace.. but she should've told me at least! We just got married, of course I wanted to have a child planned after sometime. But that doesn't mean I was against the idea! Wait, why am I talking to myself?

"Anastasia Rose Steele, are you saying you NEVER fucking thought of letting a child meet her father?! If you don't trust me.. how the fuck could you keep this from Mila?!", i'm full on cursing right now.

"Stop with the curses Christian..", she mutters.

"Are you serious? _Are You Serious?!_ You know what? No. I'm not fucking going to stop. I'm going to fucking sit here and fucking curse because I don't care anymore! Because if you can keep this information to yourself, so I can curse too!", I'm shouting and making these gestures with my hands to emphasize my point.

"I tried to tell you dammit!", she shouts back, tears freely flowing from her eyes.

"Yeah, indirectly?!"

"No! After Mila was born!", She is crying now.

Wait.. what?

I simply look at her, not trying to fit this piece of puzzle in the picture I created in my head.

"I came to Seattle to tell you in person not when Mila is 5 years old but when she was 5 _months_ old!", Ana sobs.

 _ **A/N:**_ _ **I'm absolutely done with people constantly being rude. I appreciate constructive comments but not rude comments! Fine I agree my English isn't great but i've made it clear before that English isn't my first language nor do I have conversations in English. I'm not professional but I assure you it isn't that bad either. I think i am improving as the chapters progress. Apologies if you feel offended but the rude comments de-motivate me. Also, hope you liked this chapter. I'm seriously not making this a cliche story so please stop reaching the conclusions and just sit back and enjoy.**_

 _ **POLL: Are you bugged by me changing Point of Views between Anastasia and Christian or are you fine with it? Do you want only one sided story and if yes, would you like Anastasia or Christian's POV? (Please vote, i need to plan my future chapters accordingly!)**_

 _ **Meet you next year! Xoxo ~ Ava❤**_


	17. Chapter 17: Surpassed Feelings

_•Wish you a Happy and Healthy New Year! Hope you get the best of what you want this year!❤_

 **Chapter 17: Surpassed Feelings**

 **Anastasia's POV**

 **(5 years ago)**

Please don't cry, please don't cry..

I chanted this statement like a mantra in my mind. The taxi ride was so bumpy i was sure it can even surpass the bumps on the rollercoaster at six flags.

As if on the cue, a sharp piercing sound rebounded in the taxi. Mila was crying, and that too, very loudly. Damn you, Seattle roads. The taxi driver shot an annoyed look in the rear view mirror, clearly not wanting his first passengers to ruin his rest of the day. I mean it was 7:30 in the morning..

I rocked Mila helplessly in my arm, cooing incoherent words but to no avail. I hadn't been getting enough sleep those days.. I was tired and I wanted a nap badly.

But then I thought about how I could meet Christian in the next 15 minutes and I, too, could have a beautiful family I always dreamed of. I don't know what would he do with the sudden title of father given to him.. but I was sure that he would be able to live upto it. He is Christian Grey, the same person who changed himself for me.

I rocked Mila, telling her about how we could meet her daddy and could live a happy life here rather than a trashy life there in Santa Fe.

Yeah like she understands that, my inner goddess snickered.

But, believe it or not, it actually worked. Mila stopped crying and then, fully awake, was staring at me. Her eyes are so mesmerizing that I hold her gaze and she stared back at me. Who says eyes cannot help with the communication?

Our moment was disturbed when the taxi suddenly came to halt. I looked outside and there it was.. Escala.

I paid the taxi driver, which costed me a fortune and I mentally noted never to take a taxi even if I am not on a budget. I got outside hurriedly, Mila in one hand and the bags in another. Its not very comfortable, i'd say, but well, it was just a matter of time.

I started walking towards the entrance but was stopped by the security. I notice that they aren't the regular security guards that used to be here.

"Where too, ma'am?", the security guard with the name tag of Joshua, said to me.

"Christian Grey's penthouse", I replied confidently.

"Do you have an appointment?", he asked.

Appointment?

"Not.. really. But he knows me", I say, my voice faltering a bit.

"Ma'am I need to talk to Mr. Grey", Joshua says, without budging.

He went back to the office at the side of entrance and dialed a number. What is this? I don't remember any security questioning when I used to come here. But then there was always someone with me when I came here.

"What's your name, Ma'am?", Joshua interrupts my train of thoughts.

"Ana Steele", I say. Mila was sleeping comfortably in my arms then, oblivious to what was going on there. Suddenly my resolution to meet Christian falters. Why was all of this happening?

"Ma'am, they need to talk to you", Joshua says, handing me the receiver of the telephone.

Hoping to hear Christian's voice again, I abandoned my bags and took the receiver eagerly.

"Hello?", I say. I was bouncing in my mind, that I was finally going to talk to Christian. But the next voice surprised me.

"Anastasia, sweetie.. you should go.", wait. This wasn't Christian. Infact this voice was nowhere related to a male voice. But I know this voice. It was the same voice that ruined my life and still had the power to ruin it. And now her voice through this receiver, indicating her presence at Christian's house, angered me. Infact I was boiling.

"Elena Lincoln", I say, anger clearly evident in my voice.

"I see you remember me, after a year", she taunted me. If this was a cartoon film, you could see smoke coming from my ears.

"I'm not going anywhere. I want to meet Christian."

"Trust me you don't want to.", she said, bored. Bored? I wanted to meet my husband! Who was she to stop me?!

"He is my husband, Elena. Give him the phone."

"Oh don't bring your marriage in between. You are the person who threw your marriage in the gutter and left."

I gasped. I knew I did a very reckless mistake but who was she to say anything to me?

"Listen, Elena, give the damn phone to my _husband_ , I want to talk to him."

"He is busy right now."

"Doing what?!"

"Fucking this girlfriend?", She said and laughed. But I wanted to do anything but laugh. What did she mean by that? Christian has a girlfriend? I remember this was Elena Lincoln talking and try to not take her statement seriously.

"Oh? Tell him its his _wife_ on the call."

"He doesn't want to meet you, Ana. Sweetie, I tried to avoid this conversation but you keep insisting.. so I am telling you this. He doesn't want to meet you.", she stated, sympathetically but I know her mind was anything but sympathetic.

"Oh, trust me, he does want to. At least tell him i'm here!"

I don't want to do this. I really wish my cellphone's battery hadn't died so I could've avoided all of that.

Elena told me to wait and goes away.. or atleast I thought she went to tell Christian. Can I really trust this woman? She came back after 5 to 10 minutes, all the while Joshua shooting furious glances towards me. He wants me out of his office, that's clear. Great, I knew Seattle never liked me, but this much hate? What was I even doing there? Nobody wanted me or my daughter. I was alone, and was going to be for the rest of my life. I had to make my own life, for my daughter and me. And suddenly, everything that would happen next got clear in my head.

Elena would come to the receiver, saying Christian didn't want to see me. I would try and call Christian. Key word being 'try'. He would not pick up my call, even if I got successful in actually calling him.

And that was what exactly happened next.

"Ana, Christian doesn't want to meet you. Infact he is really furious right now. If he sees you, I don't know what will he do. Its in the best interest for both of you that you go and leave -"

But I don't listen to rest of it. I put the receiver down and got out of the office. I picked up my bags and started to walk. I knew this would happen. But I still tried, tried my luck but get what was expected. Why was I here again?

I wanted to give Christian his life, a life that we made. A life that we could've cherished forever, but nobody cared about me now. I wanted to get things straight, but they didn't even let me enter Escala and I didn't know how to reach Christian either.

Sure I could call Kate or Elliott but this would happen again. They would all try to keep me away from Christian. Maybe this is our destiny, maybe fate didn't want us to be together.

And that day, I made a resolution, to never come back here again. Because nobody bloody cares.

 **Present day:**

 **(Christian's POV)**

I stare at Ana, without blinking, as she tells her story to me. It is hard to believe all of this happened, but she says its all Elena.

Anastasia never liked Elena. Even if she has every reason to hate Elena, she always tried to make peace with the terms that Elena and I are friends.. or business partners. And if she says all of this happened, then she has every right to hate her.

Because Elena fucking Lincoln never told me anything about this.

If Ana ruined my life, Elena also has an equal part in it.. if this is true.

And so without saying a word to Anastasia, I did what every sane person would do. I dial Elena's number on my phone.

I come forward and sit besides Ana on the couch. I put the call on speaker and bring it closer to us.

"Hello Christian", Elena's voice brings us to attention. Her voice is that of admiration, though I don't know for what does she admires me.

"Elena, I have question for you."

"Anything, honey."

"Did Anastasia come to Seattle a year after she left?" I say. And as expected, I am met with silence. She is silent for a long time and I can see Ana's face turn to a frown and then anger and just as she was about to say something, Elena's voice cut her off.

"Yes, Christian." And she doesn't explain any further. I can feel the fury that is surging through me and I do everything possible to keep it out of my body right now

"How could you, Elena?", I spat. "You knew how much I loved Anastasia! You were supposed to tell me and not hide from me!"

"Christian, honey listen, I know that this is your anger talking but think about it, would you have accepted Anastasia back then?"

I open my mouth but nothing comes out. Because I don't even know the answer to this myself.

"Elena, you should've told me!", I try to change the topic. But my mind is swirling with that question. Would I have accepted her then?

"I did what was best for you. Don't you remember how broken you were?" she says. I can feel Ana's eyes on my but I don't look at her.

"You took away our second chance, Elena. How do you feel about that?"

"All I did was give you a different life from there. That woman wasn't right anyways Chris-", I don't listen to her. I end the call. The silence that stretched after that was prolong and nagging.

"I did come back", Anastasia whispers and after a long time, I look at her. I look into her blue orbs that are staring back at me. Her eyes are soft, tiredness evident in them. Maybe the ride to Seattle hasn't been best for her after all.

Where have we reached? We used to be together, in love.. she was my better half. All that is left now is an empty, hollow void between us.

And I know, at that very moment, staring into her eyes. I get the answer to the stupid question I was trying to figure out for the past 15 minutes in my head.

I would've accepted her back then. I could've had a family of my own too with the love of my life besides me. But I don't see that happening now. Time has passed, so has the feelings. It is too late.

 ** _A/N: A BIG THANK YOU for the overwhelming response in the previous two chapters! It made my day reading all the supportive comments and words cannot describe how grateful i am for each and every person who gave my story a chance and believe in my story! And specially to those who wait for an update! I write the chapters fast but the editing takes a lot of time. Hope you liked this chapter.. it took more than an hour to edit..! See you soon! Xoxo ~ Ava❤_**


	18. Chapter 18: Moving

**Chapter 18: Moving.**

 **Anastasia's POV**

I can see absolutely nothing. The blindfold currently is placed safely around my eyes, blocking my vision.

"Feel it", I hear Christian's voice distantly and as if on the cue, a sharp bite - probably of a flogger - lands on my stomach.

My back arcs and I can't move my hands. Handcuffs.

Another sharp sting comes across my thigh and I yelp in both pain and pleasure.

"Christian!", I scream as series of blows come up next. What is this? How did I end up hear? "Why are you doing this?", I manage to say between the screaming and gasping.

"Because you left me.", his voice is clear.

Distantly, I hear a sound of the bell. It rings again but Christian doesn't stop. Infact he is saying so many things at once that I cannot concentrate on anything.

"Why did you leave me? I loved you. We could have had a second chance, why Anastasia? I can -"

But I try to get his voice out of my head and focus on the bell instead. It is a doorbell and its ringing too many times for my liking.

The haze clears as I shift my focus away from Christian and everything stops all together. And as if on the cue, my eyes fling open.

I gasp as my eyes focus on the surrounding. I'm lying on the bed with Mila half sprawled across me. I'm covered in sweat with the sound of doorbell continuously irritating me. Who is it this early in the morning?

I get up, careful not to disturb Mila and run towards the door. What was that dream? Why would I dream about such a thing?

I open the door and I find a neatly dressed woman standing with a tray of food. I did not order any breakfast?

"Good Morning ma'am. Here's the complimentary breakfast on the check out", she says, chirpier than ever.

But then I focus on what she said. A complimentary breakfast.. on check out?

"What do you mean by check out?", I say, my brows furrowed.

"You checked out an hour before. Our hotel has a policy for this month to give complimentary breakfast on checking out", she says, her grin not faltering a bit.

"Stefanie", I read her name tag, "I never checked out."

"Yes you did, the reception desk informed us. You checked out an hour before."

"I have absolutely no clue of what are you talking about." What is this crap? Is someone playing a prank on me?

She gives me a quizzical glace. What should I do in this situation?

"Give me 10 minutes, i'll ask the reception desk myself.", I say and close the door on her face. If this is some sort of prank, i'm going to sue this hotel.

I dial the number to reception desk from the telephone in the room.

"Hotel Palm View, how may I help you?", a calm female voice answers.

"Hello, i'm from room 402 and your staff told us that we checked out an hour before?"

"One minute ma'am", she says. I look at Mila, who is now awake because of the commotion at the door, sitting groggily on the bed. "Yes ma'am, you've been checked out an hour before.", she confirms.

"But I don't remember checking out?", I say, more confused.

"Our register says so."

"Well, thank you.", I say and disconnect the call.

The first thought that comes to my mind is Luke. Maybe he checked us out? It hurts a little that he didn't inform us beforehand. I told him I don't want to stay in an expensive hotel but man he never listens. And now we are being practically kicked out of the hotel room.

I dial his number and he picks up at once.

"Anastasia", he says.

"I understand you have every reason to hate me but throwing us out of the hotel room before telling us? I didn't expect from you Luke.", I say, words gushing out of my mouth.

"I don't understand one bit, Ana. What are you saying?", confusion clear in his voice.

"I'm saying you could've told me before checking me out of the hotel.", I say, my tears threatening to fall any minute.

"First of all, calm down and I would never do that. Second, I did not check you and Mila out."

"Huh?"

"Why would I do that?"

"Because you hate me?"

He sighs. "I don't hate you, Ana. And if I did, I never would've checking you _in_ the hotel in the first place."

I sniff, "Who is it then?" and as soon as I said those words aloud, the answer comes right after that.

"Christian."

"Mr. Grey", Luke says simultaneously.

"You knew about this?", I enquire.

"No, but it seems so.."

"I talk to you later", I say and disconnect the call again. This isn't what I planned for a Sunday morning.

It has been a week since the whole argument with Christian and me that happened here. Since then, I haven't heard from him. Infact he has made no attempt to even reach out and ask about his own daughter.

I dial his number and after a few rings, he picks up the call.

"Grey", he says but I sense the smugness in his voice.

"Steele", I mimic him.

"Oh, Good Morning, Miss Steele", he says.

"Morning yourself, Mr. Grey. Care to explain why did you remove the 'good' from our 'morning'?"

"Pardon?"

"Cut the act, Christian."

"I don't understand, Miss Steele as to what you are implying to.", but i'm sure that bastard knows very well what am I speaking.

"Why did you check us out from the hotel?", he loves my misery, doesn't he?

"Oh that!", he says, "Yeah I did." Of course. Who else would it be?

"The question was _why_ did you do it?"

"Because I don't want my daughter staying in a hotel room when she has her OWN home here."

"You could've atleast informed me about it.", I sigh.

"And go through a long procedure of argument with you? Nah, this is better."

 _That jerk._

"And since", he continues, "The mother of my child also stays with her, she can live with us too." What? Did he just called me ' _mother of his child_ '?

"Oh, no need. The mother of your child will leave as soon as she drops her daughter off.", I say and end the call.

Mother of _his_ child.

Kiss my ass.

"Get ready Mila, we are going to daddy's house", I say and I see her eyes shine visibly.

After another hour, we were both ready with our bags packed. Mila wore a sundress since it is surprisingly hot outside. I wore a pencil skirt and white shirt paired with medium length wedges. I tied my hair up to a pony tail with a few strands escaping and settling on either side of my face.

We left the room and go down where I see Luke waiting for us.

"Lukey Bear!", Mila says and runs towards him.

He smiles when he sees us. He picks her up and takes a bag from my hand and leads us to the car.

"I signed the register for check out", he mumbles as we head out.

He drives us to Escala in complete silence. Though I don't mind the silence, there is something grave in Luke's expression that I cannot decipher.

When we reach Escala, he tells us to go ahead and that he is coming behind us with our bags.

I step out into the familiar parking space, nostalgia suddenly hitting me. The amount of memories I have in this building is beyond anything summoned together. Taking a deep breath, I walk towards the elevator with Mila in tow.

The ping from the elevator indicates the arrival and we get inside. I hit the code to the penthouse and up we move. Distant memories in this elevator comes to my mind. The time I first travelled up here with Christian, the time I travelled down with a heavy heart when I broke up for the first time, our elevator sex and the last time we were here.. the time I left him for Mila.

The doors suddenly open and Mila tugs my hand. She too, has been quiet all along. I wonder what is she thinking.

At the entrance, waits the devil himself.

"Daddy!", Mila runs towards Christian and hugs his legs as he chuckles and picks her up.

"How have you been?", he asks.

"Awesome!" and he laughs carefree. I notice the change in his demeanor. He isn't all tight and emotionless as he used to be. Infact he is quite open, or atleast his posture says so.

"Do you want to see your new home?", Christian asks excitedly.

Mila looks towards me and I nod with as much enthusiasm as I can gather.

"Will mommy stay with us?", she suddenly asks and that catches Christian off guard.

"Of.. course.. why wouldn't she?", he shoots me a glance and I raise my hand in mock surrender, indicating him I have nothing to do with her questions. Let him have a fair share of Mila's questions too. "Let's go inside?", he changes the topic.

"Yes!" and off they go inside. I was about to follow when a tap on my back distracts me. It's Luke.

"Ana, I collected the reports from the hospital." he says finally. So this explains his discomfort today. Though I can predict what the reports say, I ask anyways.

"And?"

"You should see it for yourself. Come with me", he says and leads the way inside.

 ** _A/N:_** ** _I'm not proud of this chapter.. its written in haste._**

 ** _FAQ:_** ** _Christian's comment on Ana about he doesn't love her anymore._** ** _Answer_** ** _: Christian saying that he doesn't love Ana anymore is justified.. i mean imagine this happening to you.. would you cling to the person that left you shattered after they come back? I don't think so. But also, having an ex around opens wounds, opens the book of unfinished chapters. So, stay around, I mean c'mon there is Mila in the picture too! *winks*_**

 ** _Until we meet again, xoxo ~ Ava❤_**


	19. Chapter 19: Disease

**Chapter 19: Disease**

 **(Christian's POV)**

I've carried Ava a lot of times. When she was born to now that she is 4, we had that kind of bonding that probably no uncle - niece have. But right now, with Mila in my arms, everything feels different. Maybe its my consciousness that probably nagging me saying its my daughter in my arms.

My Daughter.

The thought is still foreign to me, but welcoming in a weird way. Its a feeling that I cannot put in words. But whatever the emotion is, it has mainly to do with happiness with a mixture of surprise.

Everything about Mila surprises me. I am amateur at this but not clueless. Mila is a puzzle, a very complex one indeed. Kids her age fantasize about unicorns and Barbie world. Her? She talks about gender equality. I think back to the balloon incident in the park and it warms me up. She is my daughter and i'm already proud of her.

"This is ah-mazing!" she gasps as she takes in the view of Seattle morning. The sun shines brightly today and its light reflecting on the glass buildings below us, making it seem like someone has decorated the city with diamonds.

I beam at her and she masks my expression. There is no hiding that she likes me already and we haven't even spend quality time together. What is the thing about children loving their parents?

A memory from the past flashes before my eyes. When Grace found me in that whore-house and took me to the hospital.. I didn't even knew she would be my mother then. But I loved her since the moment she found me.

"Wanna check rest of the house?", I ask and she nods her head enthusiastically.

When we get inside, I look around for Anastasia. Where is she?

I show Mila the kitchen and then my room. She gapes when she sees the enormous bed.

"Wow we can all fit here!", she grins.

"Yes we can", I smile back. I put her down and she removes her shoes before getting on the bed.

"You can sleep here, mommy will sleep here and I in middle", she smiles and my brows furrow. Huh?

"You aren't sleeping here. Infact even Anastasia isn't sleeping here", I say and I see her grin falters. Did I say something wrong? "What?", I voice out my concern.

"We are not staying here?", she says.

"No.." and I see tears in her eyes.

Oh My.

Holy Jesus.

Please don't tell me I made my daughter cry!

"Hey!" I stride towards her and pick her up. "Why are you crying, munchkin'?"

"You said we were staying here", tears flow freely now and it feels like someone is stabbing daggers in me.

"You are! Just not in this room"

Seriously though, why would she think that we would all sleep together?

"Then where?", she sniffs.

"Your own room!" but she still looks at me blankly. "C'mon i'll take you" and we exit my room.

I set her room up at the end of the hallway and just adjacent hers is Anastasia's. The bitter part of my mind wanted to set her up in the 'sub room' as she used call it but I don't want to be that harsh to her, not with Mila around at least.

Midway, lets guess who decides to join us?

"Mommy!", Mila calls and immediately struggles in my arms. I put her down, ignoring the small part of me who is sad that Mila abandoned me for her mother.

"Hey little one, loved the house?" Anastasia asks Mila and she nods her head. I look at Anastasia's face and it seems puffed up. I know this look. She has been crying. Oh scratch that, she has been sobbing. Why are these girls crying all of a sudden?

"Care to explain your disappearance?", I direct my question towards her.

She looks at me wide-eyed, a little surprised but masks it immediately.

"I was with Gail", she says smoothly.

"Gail isn't here today", I look at her sharply. Why is she lying?

"She isn't?", she says a bit confused.

"It's her and Taylor's anniversary today. They left the city early this morning."

"Oh", she nods.

"So?"

"So?", she asks.

"Where were you?"

She seems to be contemplating something in her head but she doesn't answer.

"We are here", I announce as we reach Mila's room. "Ready to see your room?", she nods a little, but doesn't say anything.

Seriously? What wrong did I do when I said no to sleep in the same room?

When I open the room, both Anastasia and Mila gasp and I cannot be more happy. They like it, I can see it in their eyes that they do.

I redecorated the room in a way that can be lovable by kids. The walls are painted in sky blue and white - Mila's favorite colour. There is a bed with butterfly lights above it and two wardrobes on either side of it. The wall opposite is full of toys. I didn't exactly know what would Mila like so its safe to say I brought almost all the toys available in the shop.

Mila runs towards the life size teddy bear that is neatly tucked in the corner and looks at it. A smile breaks on her face and I release the breath that I didn't know I was holding. Her satisfaction of loving the room is enough to make me feel accomplished in the father-department.

"Why was she crying?", Anastasia asks.

"How'd you-" I start to say but then decide against it. She has been living with Mila since she was born, of course she knows her inside out. "I said that you guys are sleeping in different rooms and not.. together with me."

She sighs and shakes her head. "Mila and I have always slept in the same room. When she was younger, we didn't exactly have.. a proper house. It was barely even an apartment." She chokes on her words.

I can't help but feel broken. They had to live in worst conditions when they could've had everything. I try to explain to myself that it was Anastasia who ran and not me. But I can't help it. She was my wife.. still is, and Mila my child.

"Then we move to this new apartment a year back. But by then Mila had developed a pattern of sleeping in the same room. And God knows who told her that ghosts exist in real life. Even the mere mention of being alone at night scares her. School sometimes is a bad influence on kids I think."

This explains the reason for Mila's sudden crying. Silly girl.

"I love this room", Mila's voice interrupts us and we look at her. I can't help the big smile that seems plastered on my face.

"Do you want to see her room?", I say and point towards Anastasia.

"No need for that Christian, we'll stay here.", Anastasia says at the same time Mila yells, "No!"

I don't protest either. It's their choice. If they want to stay here, so be it.

The rest of the day rolls on pretty lazily. Anastasia was busy with some paperwork while Mila and me talked for what seems like hours.

I come to know that they stayed in Santa Fe. Mila's favorite past times were studying, which I couldn't help but laugh at. She was the teacher's favorite child and everybody loved her at school. To be honest, I wasn't bored listening to her at all. I was, infact, enjoying every bit of her stories.

While playing the game of Uno, which is also the game she excels at, she dozed off. I carry her back to her room and put her too bed. Anastasia went out with Sawyer to get some stuff and I cannot help but wonder. What exactly is going on between her and Sawyer? I've seen them talk so much today and them going out together.. I cannot help but get suspicious. Is there something going on with them that I don't know?

Instead of leaving Mila alone, considering she is afraid to sleep alone, I sleep besides her. She looks so peaceful, angelic even and as her breathing slows down to a constant, deep pace.

"Mila", I whisper, almost inaudible and start to say stuff that I can never say if she were awake. I don't know what comes over me, but I welcome the uncalled emotion. "It's been a day and I already love you. Honestly? I was a little wary of the fact that I have a daughter but then I met you. You are one of the most amazing person i've met till date. I want to apologize, for not being there for you when you needed me the most. If it were to me, I would unwind the past years only if I can relive the moments with you again. I love you.. and daddy cannot be more proud of you." I say and lean forward to kiss her hair. She stirs a little but doesn't wake up.

I close off the lights and my phone vibrates. It's a call from Taylor and confusion paints me.

Why is he calling?

I get up as quietly as possible, not to disturb Mila's sleep and turn to go out when something catches my eye.

Abandoning the call, I pick up the reports from 'Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital'. It is the same hospital that Sabrina works in. What is this file doing here?

I read the name on the file.

Anastasia Rose Steele.

Confusion spreads over me. Why did Anastasia go to Grey Sloan Memorial?

It has been 2 weeks since she is here, when did she go to a hospital? And why did she go to the hospital?

It suddenly strikes me. I met Mila at the hospital. I never really asked her what was she doing there. But now that I know she was there for Anastasia, I cannot help but be a little afraid.

Shoving the phone in the back pocket, I switch on the night light and read the file carefully.

All the air gets knocked out of my chest and each word seems heavy by the time I reach to the end of the file. It feels difficult to breathe and I come out of the room to brace myself.

Why the fuck would Ana not tell me about this sooner?

A hear Ana's voice in the living room and I almost run to her direction. Why would she keep such a thing from me? Does she think she is so great that she can solve this on her own?

I come in front of her and she halts in her tracks. She sees the file in my hand and I can visibly see all the colour draining from her face.

Well, she should be scared. I can barely keep my anger to myself.

She turns towards Sawyer to say something and he nods in understanding and goes away.

I cannot care less. My blood is boiling right now. Christ, can this woman be anymore annoying?!

"I can explain..", she starts but I cut her off.

"When?! When the fuck were you going to tell me you have ovarian cancer?!"

 **A/N: I changed the disease at the last moment. The reason is something i'd like to restrict to myself.**

 **Everything that can go wrong with someone, is happening with me. I didn't tell you guys earlier but i have exams that started from 4th January and will end on 10th March. Its a really important exam and top of that, i'm sick. Everything is around is affecting me so much that I can't put words on paper. Its not that I don't know what to write, i can't bring myself to write. So, updates will be irregular from now on. I will do my best to upload weekly (i can't really concentrate w/o uploading haha), but if i'm late, you know the reason.**

 **Hope you liked the chapter. Until we meet again, Xoxo ~ Ava❤**


	20. Chapter 20: Confrontations

**Chapter 20: Confrontations**

 **Christian's POV.**

"And then the bee and the butterfly became friends!", Mila concludes her story just as I finish my breakfast. I smile distractedly at her in response.

"Daddy, talk to me!", she shakes me and gets my attention.

"Mila, how many times should I tell you to eat first and then talk", Ana looks at Mila pointedly and puts a spoonful of her cereal in her mouth. Mila pouts at her in response.

"Why is nobody talking to me?!", she complains and eats her breakfast, dropping bread crumbs successfully on the carpet. Not that I mind but it'll be hell of a work for Maria, the temporary homemaker today.

I look at Ana and as if on cue, she looks at me. Her eyes are warm but I know her mind's not. I'd give a million bucks to know what is going on inside the head of her's, its still a big mystery after all these years.

"Finish your breakfast, we have to go look for a new school too.", Ana tells Mila and I look at her, dumbfounded.

"And when was this plan made?", I shoot her an annoyed look.

"It was the plan all along, Christian."

"It's Mr. Grey for you. And since we 'hide' stuff, even the important ones that can be 'life threatening'" I make quotation marks with my fingers "I wouldn't be surprised at this."

"Very well, _Mr. Grey_.", She says as she emphasizes the last part. "Since you are the father it'll only be fair if you come along."

"Oh, I don't need your invitation Miss Steele, I get what I want.", I smirk and get up. I don't want to ruin my morning having a banter with Anastasia of all people.

As I turn to leave the room, I hear her say, "It's still Ana for you, Mr. Grey and I still haven't said yes."

That woman.

As I enter my office, I start up the laptop and start searching more about ovarian cancer. As I read the article, I can't help but recall yesterday. My head still hurts from all the shouting and accusations. Halfway through the fight I realized the argument wasn't only restricted to her not telling me about her disease but all our pent up emotions that we shoved at the back of our minds for 6 years..

 **Previous Night:**

"Why were you going through my stuff?", Ana shouted.

"Lower your voice woman, a child is sleeping."

"Oh so now you advice me how to raise a child!"

"Apologies since I don't have an expertise in this department as you hid my child from me for 5 years."

"Blame it all on me when it was _you_ who said no on having a child!"

I can't believe it. How can Ana have a disease as deadly as cancer? My brain still can't fathom that I couldn't see it, couldn't see that she is sick. Have I turned that blind for not reading her face?

I look at her, he face puffed up and eyes bloodshot red. It was the same as this morning, infact more miserable right now. I realize we are going off track but right now I want to know more about her sickness so I changed the subject. This can be debated afterwards.

"Anastasia, when were you going to tell me?", I say each word slowly, as if i'm talking to a child about it.

She looks in my eyes with pursed lips and then looks away, tears freely flowing. "Never."

I close my eyes to keep my temper in control but it seems impossible to do that with someone like Anastasia with me.

"And what were you exactly plotting with that fantastic mind of yours about this?", I say, sarcasm dripping in my voice.

She bite her lower lips and that action reverberated straight in my groin. I look away, surprised of the fact that she still has that effect on me.

"Nothing", she mumbles timidly.

I stare at her with an open mouth, wide eyed and nearly losing my mind right now. Nothing. Great. She has cancer and she is going to do _nothing_ about it. Why did I already predict this?

"So you have cancer and you are going to do nothing about it?!", I say, my voice going higher with each word I say.

She winces at my tone and looks away, still gnawing on her lower lip. "Please stop biting your lip you're going to bleed it to death" I say and she gasps and stops immediately.

We stare at each other, saying nothing. Well, i'm expecting an answer but she makes absolutely no move to reply.

After what seems like eons, she finally says, "What's the point?"

"Excuse me?"

"I said what's the point of all of this? To live? I've been nothing but be miserable to you, to everyone here.. to even my own child, my own blood!", she chokes on her words and looks away, trying really hard to not cry.

I stand there immobile, trying to fathom her words. So that's it? Is she saying she is giving up without even trying?

I don't say anything and she takes it as a cue to continue. "Christian, all my life, all I ever wanted was a perfect family. And I find you and I thought this is my bliss, my solitude I was looking for. And then I hear you telling your mother you don't want a child. I did everything I could to fulfill that stupid wish of yours. I hated every part of being on shots but I did it, for you, because you didn't want a child. But then when I did become pregnant, I was scared to death that even after all that I did, you are going to tell me to abort my little bleep. So I ran, I ran and ran till I lost the Ana Steele that you used to love!"

I still say nothing. Every word that she is saying feels heavier by the second. I had absolutely no clue she was going through a tough time too. I want to hold her, comfort her as nostalgia washes over me.

And I do that. I don't know what emotion overpowers me, maybe it is still out of the courtesy to comfort a person who is crying, but i do it. I hug her like my life depends on it.

"You should do something of the current situation Anastasia", I whisper.

"I don't have money for the treatment Christian. I just came here to drop Mila off. I'm going to leave Escala as soon as Mila settles here", she replies and I freeze.

She wants to leave?

I pull back, immediately putting distance between us as the present scenario dawns on me. She frowns a little but hides it immediately.

"What?!"

"I don't want to be a burden on you. I've been a disgrace to you and the whole family. I don't want to be that anymore. I'll be staying with Ray till the time being."

"You are running again." I state before I had the power to stop the words.

Her eyes widen in surprise as she gasps. "Christian.."

"Call me Mr. Grey. Because if you don't have one bit of courtesy left for _our_ daughter atleast, then I don't know this Anastasia. The Anastasia I knew was a fighter, the person who had the power to change me. And only that Anastasia has the right to call me by my first name."

She looks shocked, impressed even if I am good at reading faces but then she composes herself. When she doesn't say anything next, I continue.

"Let me help you Ana. For the sake of Mila atleast." I say.

"Chris-", she starts but doesn't complete it. "Please.. don't force me."

Suddenly, an idea strikes me. This woman right here would never accept my help, despite me saying whatsoever. So I turn around and go to my study. I'm acting on impulse so I hope I don't regret this in future. A little voice inside me says I won't and I trust the voice.

I rummage through the endless files until I find the one want to locate. It's a little dusty as it's been a while since I last opened this file.

I walk back to the living room where Ana is seated on the couch, fiddling with her fingers. When she sees me approaching with the file, she seems confused.

I toss the file at her and her eyes widen when she reads the title. It's a file with with our marriage certificate and all the documents related to it. It also has divorce papers at the very end which I tried to sign a numerous times in the past but couldn't bring myself to do it.

"What is this.. ?", she says, confusion still lanced in her voice.

"It's our marriage certificate.", I smirk. "By the powers invested in me by the law, i'm legally obliged to help you."

"You're crazy!", she exclaims but I can spot the ghost of a smile on her face. It's funny how we find humor in this topic. "Legally, i'm also allowed to deny it." she smirks back.

And then I do something that I never thought i'd do.

 _"In sickness and in health.. 'til death do us part._ ", I quote our wedding vows. I see her eyes somber and she bites her lower lips and offers me a small smile, remembering our wedding.

She knows i've out done her this time too. She knows she cannot deny my help. And I don't know why but i'm happy by this.

 **Present day:**

A knock on the door distracts me from the previous nights thoughts. I pinch the bridge of my nose to get the drowsiness from me, simultaneously shouting, "Come in."

Anastasia comes inside with a cup in her hand.

"Here, made you some coffee." she offers me the cup.

My brows scrunch together and I look at her. "For what?"

"For obviously staying up all night", she rolls her eyes. Ah, what wonders would I do at her rolling her eyes at me.

"No I didn't", I get back to my laptop but she tuts in disapproval.

"Don't lie straight to my face atleast. If I still remember Mr. Christian Grey from six years back, he would've turned heaven and hell upside down just to make everything work according to him." she grins at me and I try my best to avoid her gaze but I cannot hell the smile that spreads on my face.

"Why are you really here, Anastasia?"

She purses her lips and looks away. It seems like she was expecting something else. Well, one night cannot magically make me love Anastasia again. Those are some old feelings, key word being 'old'.

"Just.. why do you want to do this? I thought you hated me?"

I sigh as I respond. "I don't hate you. Hate is a really strong word and it's best if I stay away from it. I'm doing this for the sake of Mila. She just reunited with me. I don't think she is ready to lose another parent. The girl deserves both of us."

She offers me a small smile and looks away. Something is off about her but she isn't tell me what the problem is. I don't want to probe either, if she wants to say, she'll tell me.

"Christian..", she starts.

As soon as I go ahead to correct her to not call me by my first name, she raises her hand to stop me.

"Christian, I thought about this through.. of you wanting to help me. Though I really don't want the help-"

"Christ, woman, don't you-"

"Let me complete!" she looks at me angrily and I keep my mouth shut.

"I don't want the help since you'd probably be wasting your money behind me."

"Anastasia", I cut her off. "Your reports say it's still the early stages. There is still a solid chance to be cured."

"But it's spreading fast!", she says defensively and I want smack her right across her fine ass for being so negative.

"But it hasn't yet."

She glares at me. "I thought about it through.. and you are right.. there is Mila in the picture now too. So.."

She falters but I know what is coming next and i'm this close to not grin like an idiot.

"Yes, Christian. I.. accept your help. But i'm only doing it because you are so adamant for it. You can discontinue this thing whenever you want. I won't mind one bit.", she says hurriedly.

I smirk at her and get back to my laptop. "I get what I want, _always_."

 _ **A/N: SURPRISE! Yeah, I couldn't really go w/o uploading. I'll be taking a break from 3rd week of Feb upto 10th March. Just a heads up on that. Also, this is one of my absolute favorite chapters.. hope you liked it too!**_

 _ **Also, i'm starting a FAQ round where you can ask me anything from Donald Trump to if Earth is going to be consumed by black hole. Any question regarding this book or anything. I'll pick one of my favorites and answer it in the following chapters.**_

 _ **Until we meet again, xoxo ~ Ava❤**_


	21. Chapter 21: Lunch Date

**Chapter 21: Lunch Date**

 **Anastasia's POV**

I don't necessarily hate confrontations. It's like if you have done something, you have to confront it, be it good or bad. It doesn't really give you a peace of mind after that but confrontations do lead you to having satisfaction after facing the truth.

Which what exactly I thought until now. Okay maybe I was hyperventilating when I was going to meet Christian. But that was Christian and what harm would he do to me? Right?

The thing is I cannot say the same for Kate. Or mama Grey and papa Grey. Wait did I actually call them mama and papa?

"It looks like you are just going to pass out, Anastasia", Christian says smugly as he looks ahead and slams the accelerator to 100 miles/per hour.

"Well, on such short notice of meeting your parents and my former best friend, you should give me at least this much time to have a panic attack", comes my forced reply. How did I manage to speak these many words, is a secret because it seems like I can barely breathe.

He rolls his eyes and says, "Stop being dramatic."

"Oh really?! They are going to meet a person who left them without goodbyes and came back now with their granddaughter! If anything, i'm actually scared they'll lodge a complaint against me."

"Ana, stop panicking. They are still your in laws. And they are not monsters."

Well, that's true. It's just a confrontation right? Or a small "lunch date" in Christian's words.

It's been five days since the night of argument with my husband dear, note the sarcasm, and lets just say since then things are less likely to be broken around us. It's like a i'm seeing a whole new person. I still cannot fathom he played the marriage card to make me agree. Though I really don't know why I accepted his so called 'help'. Maybe because of Mila.. I really don't know. Maybe it were his words of not being a fighter.

He is also so nice with Mila, knows exactly what to speak at the right time. It seems like he was always a father material, he just never got in touch with that part.

Everything seemed fine until this morning. This beautiful Friday morning where I expected Christian to go to work and Mila and me would go for some shopping since she is starting her school in two weeks. Everything seemed perfect until he breaks the news we are going for a lunch with the Grey's.

Now the Grey's not only include his parents but my ex best friend who is also my sister in law and his husband. To top that, my other sister in law that is Mia and her husband who is supposedly my ex best friend's brother Ethan.

Holy cow i'm screwed, aren't I?

"Where are we going?", says Mila who was sleeping throughout the morning. She is currently strapped in the back seat, looking as gorgeous as ever.

"Hey munchkin', Good Morning", Christian says, his whole feature lighting up.

She gives a small smile and looks at me.

"Umm..", I start. What should I say?

"Munchkin', do you wanna meet your grandparents?", Christian fills in for me and I offer him a grateful gesture.

"But they are in Georgia", Mila says, confusion lanced in her voice.

"Not mommy's parents.. daddy's parents. Do you wanna meet em?", I say as Christian's smile disappears and a subtle frown settles on his face.

Mila nods enthusiastically and i'm grateful that she doesn't reprimand the idea.

"And you'll be having a friend to talk to there too", he says.

"Who?", I ask.

"Kate and Elliott's daughter, Ava"

Oh. Kate's a mother!

"That's great! How old is she?"

"Four. She is the happiest kid i've ever seen.. until Mila", he smiles.

"Seems like you're close to her"

"Oh I am. She.. is my best friend. I love her company", he speaks so fondly of her that a small part of me is jealous for Mila.

After half an hour of just breathing deep and Mila's voice that randomly spots inanimate objects and her laughter, we finally reach the Grey's house. It's still the same from outside, maybe repainted, I can't really tell.

Mila comes out of the car and looks at the house in amazement. She is wearing a pink top and blue denim jeans. Christian took her hand and they start walking. He is wearing a plain white button down shirt and paired it up with blue denims too. I am wearing a white blouse with denims. If you looked us from afar, we looked like a perfect family. If only people knew..

"Anastasia?", Christian calls out and I realised I zoned out. I quickly run upto them and go inside the house. How can they not hear my heart beat is still a mystery.

As we go inside, I see that the interiors have changed than I last saw it. The walls were painted in off white colour with a hint of brown. The floor was carpeted with brown velvet and there were white lilies and roses everywhere. And there were a lot of them. The whole place smelled like a nursery filled with flowers, but not enough to calm my nerves.

I rub my sweaty palms on my jeans and try to focus but my head is feeling dizzy. I have absolutely no idea what to expect from anyone.

"Uh.. Anastasia?", Christian nudges me.

"Hmm?"

"Just don't be surprised but these folks don't know about Mila", he says and I look at him with my eyes wide. Is this a time to joke?

"What?!", I whisper-shout. Mila is still distracted by the beauty of this house. I don't blame her, the girl practically lived in a one room house, of course she will be amazed seeing how rich her father is. And his father's family is.

"Yeah.. I figured this is not something I should tell on the phone..", he trails off, probably realizing what he did was stupid.

"And what about me? How did they let me cross the threshold of their house?", I demand.

"Well, surprisingly, they didn't say anything. They infact welcomed you", and I look at him quizzically.

What is wrong with these Greys? No one can predict a Grey's reaction, trust me.

"Ana", a voice says behind us and I whip my head to its direction.

Grace stands there with Mr. Grey, donning a black dress and her blond hair on loose. Her face looks calm and there is a smile on her face. Mr. Grey wore a casual shirt and pants. There is a smile on his face too but you can see how stiff he is.

" , Dr. Grey", I greet with one of my best smiles.

"You look beautiful, Ana. Well, your hair is short", and I blush.

Why is everybody pointing at my hair?

"Mom, Dad.. I want you to meet someone", Christian interrupts and both of them look towards him. It is only then they see what Christian is holding.. well, _who_ is he holding.

To say they are astonished will be an understatement.

"Meet my daughter, Mila Lively Steele", Christian says proudly but his voice falters when he says 'Steele'. Obviously he wants her last name to be Grey.

Grace looks at me with questioning eyes and I nod a little to affirm the statement. A wide smile spreads on her face, a genuine one as she comes forward.

Mila, now interested in the conversation when her name was mentioned, looks up at Grace.

"Hey little one", Grace greets and bends down at Mila's height.

"Hey", Mila mutters with a polite smile. Never have I seen Mila this nervous in front of anyone.. this is new for me too.

"Do you know who I am?", she asks and Mila nods a little.

"Grandmama", she says. She calls my mother grandmama too.

Grace beams at her and then towards Christian who looks so proud and at ease. All the while when I was wondering why is nobody mad at me?!

"And then this is Grandpa", Christian points towards Mr. Grey who is standing awkwardly next to Grace, not knowing what to say. Mila smiles at him and he reciprocates it.

"C'mon, lets go inside. Everyone is waiting for y'all", Grace says and leads us to the living room.

Sure enough, I spot every familiar face when I enter the room. My heart is thumping so fast that I have to take deep breaths to control my nervousness.

At the site of us, a small girl, I presume Ava, runs towards us.. more specifically towards Christian. She jumps on Christian and he he instantly lifts her up.

"Hey, babygirl. How are you?", Christian asks and the girl starts saying so many things together its hard to keep track as to what she is saying.

I feel a small poke towards my side and see its Mila. She motions me to bend down and then whispers in my ear, "She likes the name babygirl" and I try my best to stop rolling my eyes. She hates the name 'babygirl' more than a child disliking milk.

"Who is she?" someone says and I look up to see Mia's confused expression.

"She is.. umm.. our daughter", I say timidly and I hear a lot of gasps at once.

"What?!"

"Are you serious?!"

"Steele! Woah!"

The last voice was of Ethan. I smile at him and nod a little. He smiles back, no hint of surprise or anger on his face. At least there is one person in this room who doesn't hate me with passion. I'm happy he found Mia who is equally as bubbly as himself.

I can't help but notice Kate was eerily quite all the time. Her lips are pursed in a thin line and she glares at me from where she is sitting besides Elliott. Elliott's expression is well.. blank. I can read absolutely nothing on his face and when he spots me staring at him, he smiles tight-lipped towards me and nods slightly.

"What's her name?", this was Mia.

"Mila", I reply.

"Oh! That's like my name just minus the L", she clapped happily. "How did you come up with it?"

I never told this story to anyone. Infact some people may find it.. i don't know, vague?

"There was our neighbour - Annie. She helped me a lot.. to settle down and was with me throughout my pregnancy. Her middle name was Mila and to honour her support, I named her Mila." I ruffled Mila's hair who was now watching Christian and Ava who were in a deep talk about.. flowers. "I don't know what would I have done if Annie wasn't there."

And I regret saying those last words immediately. Everyone went silent, looking everywhere but me. I want to smack my head for saying it. Of course they would've been there too.. just I never gave them a chance.

And with cancer now, I don't even know if I ever will.

"Okay so everyone, lets have lunch. Our chef has made some amazing dishes and i'm sure you'd love them", Grace says as she breaks the awkward silence.

Everyone moves towards the dining room. Everyone but Mia.

"Ana", she calls me.

"Yeah?"

"I wanna talk to you about something."

"Yeah?", I say, unsure what to expect.

"Well let's be honest here, I hated you, a lot. You broke my brother beyond repair and you don't know how heartbreaking it is for sister to see this. But today.. I saw a different person. He is actually happy. You have given him the best gift there can be. His daughter. And.. well.. if my brother is happy then i'm happy", she says and then looks away. She wants to say more, I can say.

"I missed you, Mia", I whisper and place a hand on her shoulder.

"Oh Ana!", she hugs me and I'm taken by surprise. She pulls back a little and says, "I came here only for Ethan. I never wanted to see your face again. He really wanted to meet you but he didn't force me. I didn't want him to not meet his friend, your relationship with him is different.. so I came here. And trust me when I say I was going to make a scene here", she looks at me sheepishly, "But when you said that I have a niece, all that anger vanished."

"I don't know what to say.. should I be glad?", I smile.

"Definitely. You were saved from this Mia- wrath!", she motions to herself and we both laugh. I'm happy that she isn't mad. It would be hell of a time here if everyone is angry.

"Ladies, the lunch is stone cold", comes Ethan's voice. "Should we tell them to reheat now or after an hour?"

"Shut up, Ethan", Mia sticks out her tongue towards him. She actually does it and I can't help but smile at them. They look so perfect.

We all are eating lunch, which I must say is delicious. I'm talking to Ethan and Mia mostly. Sometimes Grace. The thing is, Kate hasn't even glaced towards me the whole time. And neither has Elliott.

Back to Mia and Ethan, they tied the knot four years ago. They stay in a condo, which I found cute, since they said they didn't want a big house at the moment. They told me they are trying for a child, or at least, Mia blabbed on about it and Ethan coughed continuously.

"Cut the act, Ethan, you want twins", Mia snorted between her blabber to which he coughed even more.

"Ethan are you choking? How many times did I tell you to eat slowly", Grace said, oblivious to the conversation. Yeah, that was funny.

After the lunch, Christian told me he needs some work to do. Well, of course, it is still Friday afternoon.

"I'll remove the car, you come outside", he says and leaves after saying his goodbyes.

"Goodbye Mila", Grace waves towards her. She, Mia and Mila were talking so much the whole time, i'm sure they've bonded by just the first meet.

"Bye, Grandmama", she waves back.

"Aw, you smally, come here", Mia hugs her tightly. "Hope we meet soon", she then tells me and I nod in affirmation.

Mila and I sit in the car as Christian drives us back to Escala.

"So, it wasn't as bad as you thought, was it?", he asks.

All this while, the only thing I can think is Kate didn't even take a second glance towards me. Neither did Elliott. Nor did they let Ava talk to me.

And why the hell is Grace not mad at me?!

"It was good", I say.

But I know for sure, this is a façade. I know something is up, and i'll find the root of it.

 ** _A/N: Hello folks! You don't know how many times I don't get in the mood to write a chapter but then i read the comments and that motivates me. I love you all so dearly!_**

 ** _QOTD: 1) Why didn't Ana wanted to get the treatment? (By: .9) Answer: The main reason was definitely that she is financially weak. To top that she has let so many people down that she has almost lost her will to live. Mila keeps her going and she wants the best for Mila and hence she took her to meet Christian so that one barrier will be gone but Christian talked her against it._**

 ** _Ask your questions if you have any in comments or through PM :) Until we meet again, xoxo ~ Ava❤_**


	22. Chapter 22: No Arguments Made

**Chapter 22: No Arguments Made**

 **Anastasia's POV**

"Nope."

"Don't argue with me", he threatens.

"Or what?", I look him in the eye and say this.

"Or else i'll shove it down your mouth."

"Good luck doing that", I encourage sarcastically.

He sighs. "Six years and you haven't changed one bit. Why do defy me all the fu- damn time?!", Christian growls.

"Why do you always want everyone to follow your order?", I shoot back. "Its my life, I can do whatever I want."

"You said yes to help you. Now that i'm doing it, you make excuses and defy me, as usual. I think I shouldn't be surprised."

"Christian I am _not_ having this gooey green liquid", I say, eyeing the horrible looking green liquid in front of me in the bowl.

"First of all its not 'liquid'. Its a spinach puree. And if you see the consistency", he stops and picks up a spoon and takes a spoonful of his so called 'puree' and shows it to me, "i've made it thick enough like said on internet."

I look at him like he has grown horns on his head. Is he kidding me? He wants me to consume this and then keep it inside my stomach? I'm sure i'll hurl the minute I put one spoon in my mouth.

"Umm, no, i'd very much like to keep my appetite intact. Give me a sandwich and i'll be good to go."

"Anastasia Steele, you have to eat it", he says slowly like he is talking to a child. But i'm no child and neither is he my parent.

I look at Mila who is looking at me with amusement and munches on her omelette silently. I eye her omelette, instantly jealous that even a child gets to eat better than me.

"But why?", I whine.

"Because I talked with Mila yesterday and I found out you diet consists of sandwiches and pizzas and only junk. Did you guys eat anything other than junk?", he scowls.

I look at him with my mouth open and then narrow my eyes at Mila who smiles at me smugly. She is already a daddy's girl.

"Well that wasn't the 'only' thing we had. That was just during weekends, okay? And besides we had vegetarian sandwiches you know? With just salad in between so technically its healthy..", I blabber but realize how stupid I sound and so I shut up. I'd do anything to not eat this gooey thing.

He looks at me with a bored expression and hovers above me and then says, "You want a sandwich right?"

"Right", I nod.

"Fine", he says and goes into the pantry. He takes one or two things and comes out. I see that he has a packet of bread in one hand and butter knife in another.

He walks towards me, puts the packet of bread down, removes 2 slices of bread from it. I eye him carefully to see what does he do. Did he really agree to what all I said?

"If its not my wish, then definitely not yours. We'll stay on the middle ground", he says and I look at him in confusion.

And then I see what did he mean by that. Are you actually kidding me?

He scoops the green goo and dumps it on the bread. He then spreads it with a butter knife as if he is applying jam on bread. He puts the other slice on top and offers me the so called 'sandwich'.

"Do I look like a kid?", I scowl.

"Well, you act line one. I can't see much of a difference", he smirks.

"Why are you doing this to me?", I whine.

"Because you need to eat healthy and nutritious food."

"I will. But at least make the dish more.. appealing!", I eye the bowl once again in disgust.

"Healthy food is never appealing. But it tastes good trust me. I would never let you eat food that isn't edible", he says softly.

I sigh and take the bowl instead of the bread. The last thing I want is to hate bread permanently henceforth.

I take a spoonful on the puree and hover it over my mouth. From the corner of my eye, I see Mila and Christian eyeing me keenly. I shake my head a little and eat it.

He wasn't kidding when he said it doesn't taste bad. Though I would never eat it again.. it is at least.. edible and I thank my stars that today is not the day I'll throw up.

"So?", he asks, expectantly.

I don't want to boost his already sky high ego and so I say, "Well its edible..?" which came more like a question than answer but he got the gist.

He beams at me and fist-bumps Mila who gladly reciprocates. It is like they are a team! That too against me.

"What are you doing today?", he asks as I finish my breakfast, all the while Christian eyeing me as if i'd run for the hills if he even glances in other direction.

I shrug. "Not much, probably read a book. I see you stocked you library with books that I wanted to read for such a long time!"

"Well.. I wanted to check something with you..", he trails off.

"What?"

His eyes trails towards Mila who was talking with Gail now. I'm so happy that she is back. It kind of got lonely without her company. She and Taylor went to California, a trip sponsored by Christian. If it wasn't for Gail, i'd never know about this. He usually keeps these kind of stuff to himself. She said they tried to deny it but he insisted that they needed a vacation and hence they had to accept it.

I get the hint that he wants to talk somewhere alone so I get up and we move to the balcony.

I sigh as I take in the view. Winds gush pass me and I notice it's chilly here, marking the start of winter.

"I'm going to make an appointment with the doctor for tomorrow", he states as he leans over, his elbows on the railing as he looks ahead at the Seattle skyline.

I take a deep breath. I still can't process this news that I have.. cancer. Jeez, it's difficult to even think of the word.

"Oh.. kay?", I say, unsure of what should be a proper response to this situation.

He sighs and looks at me. "Anastasia, we need to communicate if we are doing this."

"Stop making it sound like it's a business! This isn't one of your business deals where everything goes right as you want. It's hard to talk, okay?"

He looks taken aback by my sudden out burst but says nothing. I blame my hormones. I've missed my period.. again.

"How do you expect me to know everything magically? We need to communicate", he says but not in anger. His voice is calm, like he is actually trying to have a decent conversation.

"What.. do you want to know?", I give in. If he is ready to do this, then so should I try too.

"Everything. Like when did you first find out?"

"Well..", This is going to be tough. I take a deep breath and say, "It was two months ago. After Mila was born, my periods were highly irregular so I didn't really mind it. But two months ago, something just felt off. Of course missing period has a lot of effects, first being the body starting to bloat, but something was off, I could feel it. I made an appointment with the doctor and she suggested I get an ultrasound." I glance at Christian to see if he is listening and continue when I find his sole focus is on me.

"Of course at the mention of getting an ultrasound, I was nervous. It took me almost half a month to prepare myself to do the test. When I did take the test, the doctor said there is a chance I can have ovarian cancer but she can only confirm after thoroughly examining the reports. I got the reports back after 2-3 days and guess what?", I snort at the last part.

I heard a sharp intake of breath and see Christian looking away. "How many people know about this?", he asks.

"Ray and you", I shrug. "Oh also Luke and Gail and maybe Taylor."

And I regret giving the last three names.

"Why the fuck do my staff know about this?", he looks at me incredulously.

"Umm.. uh.."

"Because?", he offers.

"I met them here before I met you. I couldn't just drop here saying 'hey i'm back'.. I needed someone. And stop scoffing because I know you wouldn't have met me back then.", I glare at him.

"So little faith you have in me", he says, holding a hand over the left side of his chest, feigning hurt.

I roll my eyes at him. "Get over it."

"Haven't you talked with your mother about this?", he suddenly says, changing the mood from happy to grim in a heartbeat.

"My mother doesn't really like me after I left you. Seriously, I sometimes forget if she is your mother or mine."

"Well in her defense you did hurt her son."

"In law", I add.

"You should talk to your mother. Ask if this runs in the family or something. So we know how exactly did you get it."

"It doesn't. Or else my mother would've told me or God forbid she would've got it."

"Talk to her at least", he insists.

I don't see a harm in that. Now that I fulfilled her wish of me 'stop being a coward and let Mila meet Christian', I don't see what problem talking to my mother can create. I'll call her, she is my mother after all, I have to one day. Better soon.

"You know, Christian, for the first time today, I realize that what I got can pass on to Mila too."

He stiffens. I see the look of horror on his face before he composes himself and says, "Now that you point it out.."

"I'm scared for her. I really don't care about myself right now", I say, earning a scowl from him, "but thinking about the future. What if she gets it? What if she suffers through this? It seems like i'll be the one to blame", I say as tears well up my eyes. God damn my hormones are all over the place.

"Hey", he shifts a little closer but doesn't touch me. "Lets not talk about future. My main aim is to cure you right now and I will do that no matter what."

"I love this optimism. Who are you and what have you done to the mercurial Christian I know?", I say jokingly, getting a chuckle in response from him.

He checks his watch. "I should get going, I have a meeting in an hour."

As he was about to leave, I say, "Do you realize that after we met like a month ago, this was the first time we had a decent conversation that didn't involve screaming, shouting, crying and words dripping in sarcasm?"

He chuckles in response, "That's new, Miss Steele."

"Still Ana for you", I sigh as he I see his retreating figure.

 _ **A/N: Hate to break it to you, but this is my last update of February. I'll maybe update in first week of March, but definitely not this month. The exams are stressing me out and it took me a really long time to write this chapter, which I am not proud of. On the brighter side, Fifty Shades Freed got released and is it just me or do y'all find the movie a disgrace to the book? In first 2 movies they omitted half of the book whereas in this one they tried to cram everything up which made it sloppy. I liked the Hyde - Ana chase & how they ended the movie with Love Me Like You Do but that's about it.**_

 _ **Question: (By almost everybody) Why did Christian abandon Mila at the lunch? Answer: He didn't abandon Mila at all. Him and Mila met 4-5 weeks ago whilst Ava was with him from her birth. So he had a little chat with Ava and I don't see what's wrong in that. And then at the lunch I simply chose to not write about Christian and Mila because it was Anastasia's POV and I wanted to show more of other Grey's reaction. And if you hadn't notice, that was the longest chapter I wrote with 2,600+ words! I didn't wanted to make it more long and boring.**_

 _ **So that's about it. Until we meet again (which we will, so hang on), Xoxo ~ Ava❤**_


	23. Chapter 23: You Are Not Alone

**_A/N: I really shouldn't be allowed to make promises lol. It was so difficult for me to not update! I had my English exam yesterday and I was done with studying. To practice creative writing, i wrote this chapter lol. Hope you like it! Leave your thoughts❤_**

 **Chapter 23: "You Are Not Alone"**

 **Anastasia's POV**

 _"When the night, has come_

 _And the land is dark,_

 _And the moon is the only light we'll see"_

I woke to the melodious voice that seems to be coming down from the hall. And not just any melodious voice, _his voice_. I haven't heard him sing since.. I don't even remember the last he was singing.

I look out to see it's still dark. I check the clock on the nightstand that reads 3 am.

What is Christian doing at 3 am?

I turn to see Mila fast asleep besides me. I kiss her forehead and get out of the bed. Just as I was about to leave the room, I realized that i'm only wearing an oversized shirt. I blushed furiously at the thought of Christian seeing me in this and slip on a robe and get out of the room.

 _"No I won't be afraid,_

 _Just as long, as you stand, stand by me"_

I follow the voice which seems to be coming from the living room. As I near, I hear the piano tunes too. I'm surprised I didn't here them before.. maybe I was too focused on his voice.

I stand in the corner, in shadows as I look at him. He is wearing a dark blue tshirt and grey sweatpants. His hair is messed up and his eyes are closed as he plays the piano. It's almost like he knows what is he playing, like he has played this song a million times before.

But then I notice his expression. It is pained, like he has a lot to say but he cannot but his features says it all. He is over thinking again. And if I didn't know him inside out, i'd say it probably must be something about work or his mother or something. But I know it's about me, I know it's about today afternoon..

 **14 hours before:**

"Stop it", I whisper-shout.

"Stop what?"

"This", I say as I put a hand on his thigh so he stops tapping the floor furiously. He yanks his leg away from me immediately as looks out of the window.

We are currently seated in Dr. Gerald's office, waiting for her. I would be lying if I'd say I was happy to come here, to Grey Sloan Memorial. I mean i'm going to be practically treated in the same hospital as Christian's ex Dr I-don't-know-her-first-name Claire. There is a big fat chance I might die from wrong medicine than the cancer itself.

But he says that this hospital is the best for cancer treatment and he wants nothing but the best for me. Though i'd rather go to any other hospital than this but hey, Christian's money, Christian's choice.

This seems like it's forced, you'd say, but honestly at this point, I don't care anymore. I'm done living upto everyone's expectations of being the perfect person. I mean I never was, but I don't know why there are expectations from me to excel at every decision I make. I'm already facing karma for taking 6 years of being a father for Christian, I might as well die in the hands of Dr. Claire.

Positive thoughts, my subconscious nudged.

 _Whatever._

"Sorry to keep y'all waiting", Dr. Gerald says as she comes in. She is wearing a black dress and the hospital coat on top of it. Her hair is on lose and she has her glasses on, making her look a couple of years older than she must be. "Hello", she shakes our hands and sits across on her chair.

I take it as my cue to speak. "I came in a month ago..", I start but she cuts me off.

"I remember you. The one with the little girl that Dr. Claire had to take care of off. That put her in a grumpy mood all day", she chuckles. "I see you didn't come with your partner", she remarks as she eyes Christian.

I see him stiffen from the corner of my eye at the mention of 'partner'. "This is my husband", I say as an overwhelming urge to clarify it comes to me.

"Oh, then that was..?"

"My friend", I simply say. "Luke", I mouth to Christian and he frowns at me. Shit, I didn't tell him about Luke coming with me for the tests..

"Umm.. the reports..",I say as I try to change the subject and hand her the reports that I have been clutching hard like my life depends of it.

She flips through my file, examining them as I try to focus my attention to my surroundings to calm my nerves. It's a small cabin that is in the corner of the hallway that a nurse led us to. The walls are painted in white and there is a huge glass window that lets us view numerous trees of the open ground at the back of the hospital. I notice the name plate on the desk that reads 'Dr. Naomi Gerald'.

"You have stage 1 ovarian cancer", she states as she closes my file.

I nod my head slowly, trying my best to keep my breathing to normal.

"Tell me, why did you take this test?", she asks in all serious voice, contrary to what she was five minutes before.

"I was having symptoms. I was tired all the time and there was constant pressure on my lower abdomen.. so I took a test before this one actually on recommendation from a local doctor in Santa Fe ", I take the reports from the Santa Fe clinic out of my bag and give it to her, "and found out about cancer first then."

She compares the results and then looks at me. "Your cancer is spreading fast, Anastasia. Currently, you are having the Type 1B."

"What is that?", Christian says something for the first time. I look at him and see his brows are drawn together and has a no-nonsense expression plastered on his face.

"That means the follicles or cancer cells are present in both the ovaries", she answers his question. "The first test that she took didn't detect follicles in both the ovaries, indicating her cancer is spreading fast. I'm amazed how she caught the cancer before it spreaded much", she gives a small smile.

"What are the treatment options?", he asks.

"Well, in this case multiple surgeries are required-"

"What about chemotherapy or radiation?", Christian cuts her off and she looks at him with astonishment and a bit annoyance for cutting her off.

"Chemotherapy isn't required here. Though looking at the rate of cancer, we need to start the treatment fast. If it reaches Type 1C, it'll be difficult to cure it by just surgery."

"Type 1C?", I ask.

"Type 1C is where the cells spread from the ovaries to the fallopian tube and uterus." and I close my eyes to get the image out of my head. I need to stay positive, I need to stay positive; I keep chanting in my head.

"Schedule the surgery to the earliest possible", Christian says, bringing me back to reality.

"The earliest is after two weeks."

"Two weeks is too late."

"No Christian, two weeks is good. Mila's school is starting next week, I don't want anything disturbing that", I tell him. He looks inconvenienced, but doesn't say anything.

"Oh about that", Dr. Gerald starts and gets our attention, "usually ovarian cancer at this stage is rare. And pregnancy reduces the chances of it. In your case, despite of one pregnancy, you got the cancer cells. This is a really rare case", she says as she hands me back my files.

"Is there a chance that.. my daughter can get..", I trail off but she gets my point. "Anastasia, I suggest you don't think about the future now. I know it is hard to not think about the future when it is our own child we are thinking about, but you need to stay positive through this okay?" So that means there is a possibility.

I nod my head a little. But how is it possible to just brush aside the fact that my daughter is also on the other side of this double edged sword?

We left Dr. Gerald's office in complete silence. The only noise around me was of footsteps of the nurses and doctors walking hurriedly to attend the patients. I will be one of them soon. I sigh and try to focus on Mila's school which will start next week but my mind wanders to the darkest places that I shouldn't be thinking of right now.

Suddenly, someone grabs my hand. I flinch in surprise and see Christian holding my hand tightly but he doesn't look at me. His eyes are focused ahead and together we walk to the parking lot in complete silence, his hand sending tingles down my spine.

When we reach the car, he suddenly hugs me with all his might. Almost subconsciously, my arms go around his back as I hug him back. If that wasn't enough surprise in the course of two minutes, out of nowhere, the dam bursts. Before I can control myself, i'm crying hysterically into Christian's chest, taking me by surprise. He seems eerily calm as he strokes my hair and stands there motionlessly consoling me. Did he know I was going to cry?

I don't for how long we were standing there in the parking lot or for how long was Christian stroking my hair and holding me in his arms, his grip never faltered. After what seems like an eternity, the tears finally stop. I let all the pent up fear and anxiousness out that was buried inside me for 2 months and until there was nothing much to cry about.

After a beat, he pulls just a little to look at me and then cups my face, engulfing it in his palms. He looks at me with a strange emotion but something about his expression calms me down. My breathing goes back to normal and my eyes feel heavy with all the crying.

Our faces are just inches away, his breath fanning my face. And after that, he says something, says a simple sentence that makes everything in my insides clench and yet makes me feel safe at the same time.

"You are not alone", he says in a firm yet soothing voice.

Christian is finished with his song and is just randomly playing a tune that I don't recognize. I make a decision to not disturb him from his trance and slowly walk back to my room.

He made me feel something that I needed for a long time. Even though it was a mere sentence that consisted for 4 words, it is something that gave me power. Power to fight through this. Power to make me realize I have someone by my side. And I go to sleep with those four words revolving around my mind.

 _"You are not alone"_ isn't just a sentence that he said today, but a sentence that means so much more, for me.. as well as him.


	24. Chapter 24: Fertility

**Chapter 24: Fertility**

 **(Ana's POV)**

"She is taking it", he says, deadpan.

"No she isn't", I say, holding my ground.

"She is."

"She isn't and I don't wanna hear more."

"But she can catch infection!" he grumbles.

"No I won't", Mila joins in and I hi-five her as Christian scowls in frustration. Take it, big man.

"There are thousands of kids who'll drink water from the same bottles in the school. It's better you take your own", he reasons.

"Why do you want her to carry extra weight?"

"It's for her own health."

"So you think I don't care about my daughter's health?" I snap out of no where. He looks back at me with an eyebrow raised but doesn't comment back.

It is Mila's first day of school and Christian has been insisting that Mila takes her own water bottle despite of water being available in school. Don't get me wrong, I care about Mila too. Its just that I don't want her to carry extra weight for something that is available in her school too.

"Fine, whatever floats your boat. Even Ava carries her own water."

"Then i'm sorry, but you are a parent to the wrong girl", I roll my eyes and walk towards the elevator.

"Mommy is acting weird", Mila says as I leave.

"I heard that", I call out but, of course, get ignored.

"Are you excited for school?" he asks her.

"Yes!", she says enthusiastically and claps her hand.

"Now there are some rules you have to follow", he says and I look back at him with confusion. What rules is he talking about?

"Are y'all coming?!" I call out.

"Rule one", he says as he picks her up and steps inside the elevator, "if you don't feel good or don't like school, you tell us first, okay?" and she nods her head. "Rule two, if someone troubles you, then you tell them politely to stop and if they still don't, you can be a little harsh to them."

"Mr. Grey!", I gasps, "Are you teaching your daughter violence?!"

He shrugs. "I don't want her to just stand there doing nothing if something like that happens." and I shake my head in disbelief.

"Rule three: No talking to boys. As long as you don't talk to boys, I have no problem with your school."

"Are you kidding me?!" Is he actually trying to tell me he wants our five year old daughter to not talk to the boys of her school? "Christian she is five. FIVE!"

He shrugs again. "So? First comes talking, the dates, than marriage? I just met her, I don't wanna lose her already."

"You are delusional" but he simply ignores me. Great.

We arrive at Mila's school, which by the way, screams richness in every corner. It's not exactly a school but more like a playschool. Apparently, Kate's daughter goes to the same school. I'm actually worried to run into Kate after she gave me the cold shoulder during the Grey's lunch. I don't want to create a scene here and the best way to avoid it is to avoid Kate.

"Are you ready, munchkin'?", Christian asks Mila, who is still in his arms, as she nods furiously. This girl loves school. He smiles warmly in return and kisses her head and my heart swells at the sight.

Christian, you are a natural and if you had not been cold about kids six years back, the present would've been something different, I say in my head.

"Come here", I take her from him. "Despite whatever your daddy said, you can do whatever you want-"

"Hey!", he protests but I ignore him.

"But if you have any problem or are uncomfortable with anything, you tell mommy and daddy, okay?"

"Okay", she says and kisses my cheek. She calls Christian towards her and when he leans down, she kisses his cheek too and I see him smile brightly. I put her down as she walks towards the entrance, waves her hand and goes inside.

"What are you doing now?", he asks as we turn to leave.

"I have some things to buy. I'll probably go to a supermarket or something", I say as he frowns.

"Go back home and tell Gail, she'll do that for you", he practically orders as I scowl at him.

"I can do my own work, Christian. You leave with Taylor while i'll go with Sawyer in his SUV."

"Fine." he says as he walks towards his car and Taylor follows him shortly. I get inside the car where Sawyer is on the driver's seat.

"Luke, we are going to the restaurant on West 82nd", and he looks at me quizzically. "I'm meeting someone there", I explain as he nods and drives us there.

As Luke halts the car, I get out and instantly feel bad for lying to Christian. I mean he is been supporting me so much lately, the least I could do is not lie to him but the person specifically asked that I shouldn't tell him about this.

When I go inside, I immediately spot her. She is wearing a golden coloured blouse and a black skirt. When she spots me, she stands up and waves towards me.

"Ana", she says as she hugs me.

"Dr. Grey", I greet Christian's mother.

"Thank you for meeting me on such short notice and call me Grace. Does Christian know about this?", she asks and I shake my head as we take our seats.

"You wanted to see me alone?", I start.

"Yes. I wanted to ask you some things.. that I didn't want to ask you over the phone. Also I ordered salad for us.. if you want I can change it-"

"No salad's fine", I say and look at her expectantly.

Grace texted me saying she wanted to meet me here today. She didn't mention why but she did mention that she didn't want Christian to know about this. I was confused reading the message but send her my confirmation that i'll come.

"You see.. after you left, Christian was all alone. He started to open a bit to you and when you left.. he needed someone to share his thoughts with and he chose me. He tells me about everything, well almost everything, and he told me about you too-"

"You know I have cancer." I finish as realization dawns on me. For some reason this makes me angry. I wanted to keep this private and here he is telling this to everyone.

"Yes, Ana.. don't be mad at him he just wanted to run things with me since he wants you cured."

"When did he tell you about it?", I say, trying my best to keep the anger out of my voice.

"The night before y'all came for lunch.."

And suddenly everything gets clear. Grace and Christian's father not being angry at me. They weren't not angry because they forgave me, no, it was pity and sympathy they showed towards me that day and for some reason that makes me more mad. I don't want anyone's sympathy.

The waiter brought us our salads and I muttered a thank you and as soon as he leaves, Grace speaks.

"Only my husband and I know about this. I haven't told Mia and Elliott about anything", she assures as she brings me back from my thoughts.

"Why did you call me here?", I ask.

"Christian wanted me to recommend the best hospital for treatment and I said Grey Sloan Memorial which, in fact, is the best. He wanted me to be there in your treatment but legally i'm not allowed to since i'm still your mother-in-law. So I'm supervising your treatment at Grey Sloan. Dr. Gerald is a very good friend of mine and she runs your reports with me and I wanted you to know this by myself."

"Oh..umm.. so..?"

"I wanted to ask you a question first handed so I can plan your treatment in that direction."

"Okay?", I say but it came out more like a question.

"Since you are still 28, I have to ask you this. Do you want to preserve your fertility or you are okay with your eggs being removed?" she asks and my breath hitched.

Now i'd be lying if I say I haven't thought about this. While I was on the internet searching about the options, I did stumble upon this question and haven't been able to stop thinking about it.

Do I want kids in future?

I don't know. At first I knew i'm not doing the treatment so I didn't have to think about this. But now since i'm going ahead with it, I have to answer this. It's not like I have a future with Christian anymore, it doesn't seem like it to me with the amount of hate he has towards me. On the other hand if I do fight against this, I don't want to be able to not have kids. I definitely want Mila to have a sibling in future, be it half brother or sister.

"Ana?", Grace asks after a long time.

"Yes", I say and she looks at me with an eyebrow raised. "I want preserve my fertility", I say as Grace gives me a small, knowing smile.

"Okay then. I'll contact Naomi as soon as possible to inform her about this."

"That's it?", I ask and she looks at me with confusion.

"What?"

"I don't buy this. I don't think this is the only reason you wanted to meet me", I state.

"Why do you think that?"

"You could've asked me this over the phone or Dr. Gerald could've asked me but you arranged a meeting just to ask this question? I don't think so" and she looks at me, impressed.

"Well yeah. Ana.. it is about Kate." she says. Kate?

"What about her?"

"When you left.. Kate and Elliott were about to get married. They had everything planned and when she found out about your departure, it broke her. She was so depressed that she didn't want to get married and this in turn angered Elliott and lets just say they called off their wedding. They did eventually get married though.. but she missed you in every living second there was. Now that you are back, at lunch I expected you both to bond but you didn't. You both didn't even say a word!"

By now I am biting my lip so hard in an attempt to not cry. I never knew me leaving would break Kate so much that she called of the wedding. Of course she and Elliott have every right to ignore me, I almost ruined their lives too.

"I want two of my daughters to bond, Ana. I can't bear to see the ignorance. I cannot really tell Kate anything right now.. that is why i'm asking you. Talk to her, make amends."

"How?" I whisper. "Everybody in Seattle hates me."

"That is what you think", she smiles a soft smile and I try to reciprocate it in the best way I can.

Suddenly, my appetite is lost. I don't want to eat anything anymore. The food is probably cold by now and I don't think I can stomach anything anymore.

What a great way to start a week.

And I haven't even started my treatment yet.

 _ **A/N: I'm back! And my exams are done! I'm officially jobless and have no work to do lol. I wrote this chapter like 8-9 times because exams have me so thoroughly drained that I have a terrible writer's block. But like I said, I have absolutely nothing to do anymore so i'll get over it haha. Until we meet again, xoxo ~ Ava❤**_


	25. Chapter 25: The Pool Game

**Chapter 25: The Pool Game**

 **Anastasia's POV**

I haven't been much angry in the past six years. The most I had been was when I was angry at myself for being stuck up at the same job with minimal pay and hence I decided that i'll do everything in my power to get a better one. It took me exactly 11 months to finally land an interview that was flexible with the time I was ready to work as I couldn't keep Mila in the daycare for elongated periods. The reason for that was simple - the more the hours, more the fees.

So now that I am angry.. wait scratch that, infuriating, I cannot compare it to anything. I can barely keep myself from internal combustion. It seems the only emotions i'm having since I came back to Escala are anger and anxiousness. Gosh i've made a mess of myself, haven't I?

I'm pacing around in Christian's library, scanning books after books. He has stocked his library with classics that I wanted to read for a long time. In the past years, in order to get a 'better insight' - my boss's words not mine - I was expected to read the modern books with the same ol' teenage drama. So when I found these books here, I cannot help but trail my fingers over them and smile at the thought of the rush i'll get while reading the classical novels again.

"Something that holds your interest, Miss Steele?" a voice says from the door. I don't need to turn to see who is it.

"Actually many things right now", I reply, being lost in the decision to which book should I actually read.

"The bestsellers are on the shelf to your right", he says.

I flit from one shelf to another as I pick out books to read. As I go further into the library, I spot something. It's the pool table. Not any pool table, the table on which we played a match.. and did many other stuff. I don't know for how long was I staring at the table but I didn't notice him coming behind me, startling me in the process.

"Ah, I haven't played pool in a very long time", he says. If he takes one more step forward he be basically touching my back.

"Let's play one then", I turn around and look at him. Christian raises his eyebrows, asking me if i'm actually serious. "Well, we both are here, so is the pool table. I don't see what's the problem", I shrug.

"Okay then", he says and goes to the cabinet to take out the balls and the striker.

"But this time, the rules will be mine", I smirk and he looks at me but continuous arranging the balls on the table. "After every ball we pocket, we get to ask the other person a question. It can be anything the person wants to ask. But on every strike that you miss, you don't get anything."

"Fair enough", he says as he hands me the striker. "You go first."

"Also, the person who wins the game can punish the opponent in anyway they want", I say as I take the striker from him. It's been a long time since i've played pool too, I don't even know why am I doing this. I think it mainly has to do with the anger I have towards him today. I'm taking you down today, Christian Grey, by hook or by crook.

"Careful, Miss Steele, 'anyway' is a dangerous word", he looks at me smugly. I wink at him and angle the striker towards the ball. I push it back a little and hit the white ball with all my power, hoping to pocket at least one ball. And I did.

"You get the strips. Shoot your question, Miss Steele", he says.

"You decide to tell your mother everything about me, of course, without consulting me. Did you not think it was important to ask me about it?", I say as venomously as possible, gauging his reaction carefully.

His eyes widen in surprise but he answers anyways. "When I found out about your sickness.. I wanted to do everything in my power to cure it. And the only person I could think of was Grace back then. So I asked her opinion. I did not know she would actually supervise the treatment.."

"The question was 'did you not think it was important to tell me'", I say making quotation marks with my fingers.

"I was going to. I was looking for the right moment.." he seems lost for words, "How did you find out about it anyway?"

"It's not your turn, Mr. Grey", I say as I position myself to strike again. I pocket another ball and hear him mutter "are you kidding me".

"Question two. Can I have the assurance that you will consult absolutely everything with me in the topics that involve me and my daughter?"

He looks at me incredulously. "Anastasia!"

"Answer the question."

"Yeah, fine", he grumbles and I smirk a victory smirk.

I strike again but this time cannot pocket a single ball. I pass him the striker as he crouches and takes the position of a predator ready to attack it's prey. I'm actually worried right now. What kind of questions will he have for me? He hits the white ball with such grace that I almost didn't notice him pocket two solids together.

"Impressive", I mutter. Was he kidding when he said he hadn't played in a long time?

"First question, describe Mila's birth to me", he says, taking me by surprise that he didn't ask how I got to know about him telling his mother. As if he read my mind, he says, "I'm guessing it's Grace herself who told you so.."

"Well, Mila's birth.. that was a difficult yet the most beautiful moment ever. I lived alone.. so when my water broke, I literally had to do everything on my own. I had the bags and stuff ready so I took them, booked a cab on the phone and went to the hospital. I was in the labor for a solid 38 hours and then after a C-section, was born Mila.. perfectly healthy with her perfect features. I cannot even describe the feeling of the rush when I first held her..", I say and look at him and he has such an intense gaze on me that my heart starts to beat rapidly. What is the gaze about?

"There is more to the story", he simply says and I look at him with confusion. What does he mean?

"Second question, why did you leave the part about the complications?" he says and I stare at him. There is no way in hell he can know about this. But then again, he is Christian Grey. I decide not to ask him about this and answer his question.

"Well, as you already know, I had certain complications. Mila was breached. And there were some more complications which I don't want to talk about now.. but I remember vaguely of been given the option to choose between myself or Mila since the delivery was not going smoothly and I was extremely tired.. so I chose Mila and I had already listed my dad as an emergency contact.. so if I didn't make it..", I didn't bother to complete the statement and he didn't ask me to elaborate further. He takes a deep breathe and composes himself.

How did a simple game of pool turn to life story?

For the next 20 minutes, we played the game and asked each other questions of the past. Turns out, Christian did have 11 girlfriends and not subs. He tried the dom-sub relationship with his first 2 girlfriends but he didn't feel like it anymore so he abandoned his playroom. For some reason, I wanted to keep my hands over my ears and not listen to it further. It angers me to imagine him being a dom to someone after me.

"How many men have you been with in the past years?", he asks.

"None actually. I tried blind dates but those didn't go well. And I had Mila to take care of so I didn't really mind, to be honest." To which he looked pretty surprised. Yeah so what that I hadn't been in a relationship in 6 years? At least I wasn't busy being a casanova and a complete jackass like him.

"Why did you 'change' your girlfriends so much?", I asked when I pocketed my second last strips ball.

"Never felt attached to anyone. Some were rebounds while some suggested marriage so I had to leave them", he shrugs as my eyebrows draw in confusion. Is he saying he hated marriage proposal so much that he left them because of that?

The final round was a tough one. We kept missing the target or pocket the black ball but not the consecutive one. Finally, after ten minutes of passing the striker to each other, I finally pocketed both the balls.

"Yes! On you face!", I beam at him and he shakes his head in amusement.

"So what's my punishment, mademoiselle?", he asks with mock courtesy.

"Christian Grey, I've waited for this day for a very long time. I've been so furious this morning to find out you've been keeping things from me which are about me!"

"Whats on your mind, Steele?"

"Something that will satisfy me, but not you, Grey", I smile smugly.

"Well, lets see then", he says as I take his hand and lead him out of the library to his bedroom. "Why are we in my bedroom?", he asks as I lock the door behind us.

"Have you heard of the the game, 7 Minutes of Heaven?"

"Yes..", he says, cautiously.

"Well lets just say I have a revised version of it but it'll be heaven for me.. hell for you", I smirk.

"Okay.. i'm listening, go ahead."

"I'm going to set an alarm for 7 minutes here and tease you every in way possible without actually touching your body with my hands, except for your arms and face of course, till the timer is up. You used orgasm denial on me to show your frustration six years back, remember? Let's see how this shows mine."

 ** _A/N: This was long overdue I know but I was a bit busy with stuff. And I wanted to make this chapter really interesting with those two opening up to each other, bit by bit but at the same time not feeling that the story is dragging. Hope you liked it, comment your views! Until we meet again, xoxo ~ Ava❤_**


	26. Chapter 26: Seven Minutes

_(Warning: Steamy scene ahead.)_

 **Chapter 26: Seven Minutes**

 **Anastasia's POV**

He laughs. Not one of those fake laughs, but a genuine one. What is there to laugh about?

"You look crazy, you know that, right?", I say and get his attention.

"I know, but you are so funny sometimes. Now tell me, why would you want to do that? Also, I'm quite impressed that you still remember something that was part of our lives six years back", he shoots with all seriousness now. But I don't even know. Why do I remember actions of the past? Over the years, I thought I never wanted to see him again and that I was over him. If I really am, why did I bring up the orgasm denial part?

"Someone seems scared", I shoot back with a sweet smile plastered on my face.

"Whatever, since it's a punishment, bring it on, Steele", he says and I give him a smug smile in return.

My inner goddess seems to have woken up from her coma and is now sitting there rubbing her hands as she looks towards her prey.

I walk forward in the sexiest way possible, trying to bring my game for this.

"You can't touch me, by the way", I say.

"I figured."

When I am inches away from him, I can feel his breath on my forehead as he stays stiff, his hands by his side but his eyes are trained on me, gauging my every move. I trail my hands to his back pocket where I know he keeps his phone and remove it slowly, ensuring to brush my hand 'accidently' on his arms. He takes a deep breath as I bite my lip in the most sensuous way possible. I hope this is working on him.

"I'm going to set the alarm for 7 minutes now", I say in a husky voice as he nods in reply.

When I set the alarm, I keep the phone on the nightstand and push him back so he is lying on the bed on his back and I straddle him. I take his face in my hands as his eyes flutter close and trail my lips over his eyes, nose and corner of his mouth, not kissing him. I am sure to stay away from his lips. I trail my hands down his arms in a painfully slow pace. I trail my lips to the base of his neck and kiss him there. But I don't stop. I kiss the spot repeatedly, biting it, sure to leave a hickey there. He takes two or three calming breathes as he watches me intently. I pull away a little and start undoing his tie and then the buttons on his shirt.

"What are you doing?", he whispers as I tie up his hands above his head quickly with his own tie.

"When I said about not touching you, I said with my hands. I didn't say anything about my lips", I say and start kissing his chest as he groans, "Ana!"

I kiss his left nipple and give it a long suck as he groans again. I then trail my tongue down his abdomen and to his happy trail and scratch his shoulders lightly with my nails. As I kiss just above the button of his jeans, I look up at him. He is looking down at me, his face in pain as if it wasn't for his punishment, he'd be out of here any second.

Doesn't he feel anything at all by this? Though his erection beneath my hand tells a different story.

I go back up, clutch his face tightly in my hands and hold his gaze, our heaving breaths mingled with each other. His eyes then trail to my lips and then again back at me. I trail my lips from his cheek to the corner of his mouth, my lips barely touching him.

He somehow freed his hands from the tie as he now has his hands firmly pressed on my back.

"Christian", I whisper his name but he doesn't loosen his grip. In fact, he holds me tighter if that's possible. He then flips us over as panic settles in. What is he trying to do? This wasn't the part of the plan!

He ducks his head down, our lips hovering over each other. If he moves just a millimeter more, we'll be kissing each other. As I recover my equilibrium and push him off me with all my might, the alarm goes off.

 _7 minutes are up._

He moves away from me immediately and trudges to his drawer. He removes a t-shirt for himself whilst I pathetically try to tame my hair and my heart which is beating so fast that I'm scared he can hear me.

What the hell just happened?

"Ana", he starts but he doesn't look at me, "I'm sorry, I lost control."

What am I supposed to say? "It's okay..." I say in a whisper.

He nods as he comes towards me and gives me a hand. What? I take it and get up as he leads me out of his room. "I have some work to do, I'll be in the study", he says and leaves.

As I walk towards my room, reality slowly sinks in. What the hell was I thinking?! I mentally slap myself. If things weren't awkward between me and Christian before, they are now. How the hell am I supposed to face him tomorrow? Or the day after?

As I enter the room, I see Mila talking on my phone. I walk towards her and ask her who is it and she simply hands me the phone.

"Hello?"

"Ana?"

"Mom?!", I gasp. I check the time and it's 10:30pm. Why is she calling me this late? "Is everything okay?"

"Why I cannot even talk to you without a reason now?" she scolds.

"Mom, no. How are you?"

"I'm fine, honey. You are in Seattle, I heard", she says, getting straight to the point.

"Yeah..."

"How did Christian take everything? You know.. you coming back with Mila.."

"It's all fine now", I say, avoiding her question.

"Is there something you want to tell me?" she asks as tears well up my eyes. She knows. I look at Mila and tell her to go play with Luke. When she is out of the earshot, the tears flow freely. I sob as mom tries to say soothing words from the other side.

"You should've called me earlier, Anastasia. Why didn't you?", she scolds again.

"There was so much going on for the past month, mom. I couldn't even trust myself. I didn't know who to call, who should I trust..."

"If it wasn't for Ray, I'd be in the dark forever. I want to be there for you", she says as I listen intently, those damn tears still flowing without my permission. "Listen, Anastasia, ovarian cancer runs in the family. Your grandmother had it, I didn't... I got tested for it. I never knew you'd have it and that too, this early. I was going to get you tested in a year or two for it anyways...", she trails off.

"It's okay, mom. Christian is helping me. He has been so supportive in the past few weeks, I'm forever grateful. It kills me that even though I hid my pregnancy from him for so long, he is still doing everything in his power to help me."

"That is because he cares for you", she states. Cares… for me?

"Not really, he wants Mila to have both parents, that's all."

"Maybe. But tell me, is he awake every night just to get more knowledge about the topic? He is helping you financially too, isn't he? If you still don't believe he cares for you, why would he spend endless nights being awake just so you can get cured?"

"No m-"

"Think about it."

And it all comes crashing down. He has spent sleepless nights ever since he got hold of the reports. I remember how I overheard Taylor once telling Gail that Christian isn't concentrating on his work. I remember how he religiously comes with me every time I have a doctor's appointment. Does this really mean he... cares?

"Oh my… mom… this is so unfair! After what I've done to him..."

"I know, sweetie. But life isn't always fair, is it? I've learnt the hard way, long back. If life was fair, I'd probably still be with your dad. But we all learn the hard way eventually. He cares for you Ana, and I know at this point he doesn't even realize it himself, but he does. He is devoted to being Mila's father right now, but eventually, he'll realize the bigger picture."

"The bigger picture?"

"You are smart enough to understand that. Promise me one thing though, when the time comes, you will not lose him twice."

"I... promise" and I can picture her smiling right now. She should be a psychologist, she gives great life advices. God, I've missed her.

"Also, I forgot to tell you… I'm coming to Seattle next week!" she says happily.

"That's great! See you soon then", I say.

We then talk about a lot of things we missed since our last call. He told me how his husband got this new business going along with him teaching baseball to students who aspire to play at national level. I fill her with details about Mila's school, about all those doctor's appointments and how just yesterday Christian brought Mila extravagant gifts since she was starting school. She laughed when I filled her up on Christian's attempts at making me eat healthy and said that I was always a pain when it came to eating good food.

"I was not!", I protest.

All the while, I cannot brush aside the fact that Christian Grey cares for me.

 ** _A/N: I would like to thank Abby, who edited this chapter. Girl, thanks for supporting me! Hope you guys liked this chapter, comment your views. Until we meet again, xoxo ~ Ava❤_**


	27. Chapter 27: Friend

**Chapter 27: Friend**

 **Christian's POV**

I flip the phone over and over in my hands, contemplating on who exactly I should call. Flynn always says I need to talk more to a loved one, but honestly, who do I have? It used to be Ana, but everything's different now. I don't want to talk to my shrink right now, and I'm not close to anyone else. At these moments, I regret not having any friends.

I shiver runs down my spine as the path where her lips and hands trailed still lingers. Why did Anastasia do this to me? What did I do? Why did I agree to her punishment? These rhetorical questions are killing me right now. But I need to call someone. I need to get it off my chest. I need to talk to Flynn

The phone rings thrice before he picks up the call. "Christian", he greets affectionately.

"John."

"How are you?"

"There is something I need to discuss."

"Go ahead."

Well… here goes nothing.

 **Next Day: Ana's POV**

Idle mind is Devil's workshop.

That is me right now. Mila is away at school, and I can't stop thinking of the bomb that she dropped at breakfast. What's concerning was Christian's reaction to it. She asked Christian if her and me would stay in Escala with him from now on. In these situations, Christian would probably avoid the question or talk his way out of it, he always had a way with words. But today was different. His whole demeanor screamed something has changed.

 _"Daddy?", said Mila._

 _"Yes, munchkin?", Christian said sweetly._

 _"Will mommy and I stay with you always?", she asked, with a hint of fear in her eyes._

 _He stopped chewing midway but resumed quickly before he thought I could notice. "Of course, why do you ask?" and at his response, my eyes widen. Did he not understand the question? She means that can I also stay permanently with him?!_

 _She smiled as she shrugged. "All my friends' parents stay together... they said you don't love mommy anymore so you don't live together."_

 _"Who are these friends of yours?", I asked, clearly pissed._

 _"Daniel, Samantha and Ava."_

 _"Ava as in Uncle Elliott's daughter?" I asked and glanced towards Christian. For some odd reason, he looked calm about all this._

 _She nodded at my question and my blood boils. How dare Kate talk about my life with her kid._

 _"I'll talk to Uncle Elliott and mommy will talk to Aunt Kate is it okay?", Christian said after a while as she nods._

 _"Wait... I'll talk to Kate!?" I said, barely able to say the words._

 _"Is that a problem?"_

 _"Not really... that's fine."_

And that's how I ended up on the balcony, my favorite place in the house. It's 6pm and the sun is just about to set. There is something oddly calming about Seattle's skyline, the view is breathtaking. The rainbow of colors painting the sky with the setting sun. My phone is tucked securely between my fingers as I contemplate calling Kate. What will I say? When I think about today morning, I sure want to talk to her, parent to parent, but when I think about the past 6 years, I realize I cannot shout at her or speak rudely. I'm guilty and I've realized over the course of years that I absolutely suck at dealing with guilt.

But Mila comes first right now and with that thought in my mind, I click on the number that I last clicked on years ago. My heart is thumping so loudly as the ring goes and I wait for Kate to pick up.

"Ana?", comes the first word from her.

"Kate... how are you?"

"What do you want?", she snaps. Christ.

"Umm... yeah... about that. Ava and her friends have been telling Mila in school that the reason why Christian and I aren't together is because he doesn't love me anymore. I don't think this is a very appropriate thing to discuss at school."

"Well, does he?"

"What?", my brows furrow.

"Does Christian love you? Let me guess, last time I checked, no."

"Kate! What is wrong with you!" Why is she being this harsh?!

"You tell me! First you just flee off to an unknown place without telling or caring for anyone and then come back six years later with a daughter and expect everything to go back to normal?"

"I never expected that."

"Look, Ana, if you expect me to forgive you and your past, I can assure you that, that won't happen anytime soon."

"I get it. But, can you at least not discuss my family problems with Ava?" and she scoffs when I say the word 'family'. "Kate... I'm really sorry for whatever happened. We cannot go back to past and change it. But you have to listen to my part of the story. It is only fair if you listen to both points of view."

She contemplates it for a while and then says, "Fine."

And then I tell her. Everything from the top as she listens quietly, listening with occasional scoffs and gasps. I exclude all the recent developments from it but I do tell her about my cancer.

"Ana...", is all she says as she breaks down. I hear her cry and I dig my nails into my palms to not start my own tears.

"I know, Kate. We need to talk in person."

"Yes, we do. I'm in Idaho currently on a business trip... we'll meet as soon as possible, I promise."

"Yeah. Also about Ava…"

"Don't worry I'll talk to her. She eavesdrops a lot!"

"Meet you soon, Kate."

"Sure, bye", she whispers and ends the call.

A small smile comes on my face. It was good to talk to Kate and finally have a friend to listen to after a long time. I needed this, I needed her.

The wind gushes past me, calming me in the process. What did I do to deserve such a supporting ex-husband and a family that supports me through thick and thin? And not to forget a beautiful and smart daughter. I cannot even start to think I was ready to leave them forever. I can't do that to them when they support me so much.

I run a hand in my hair to attempt taming it. But when I pull back, I gasp. There is hair... on my palm. Not one or two strands... but a lot of them. I run my hand again in my hair as more loose strands come off.

No. This cannot be happening. This is too much hair to be considered normal. This is excess hair fall. My fingers shake as I dial the number of Dr. Gerald. I need to do something about this soon or by this rate... I can go bald soon.

 **Christian's POV**

"Try to not look at her as the wife who left you, but a mother, a new person."

Dr. Flynn's words reverberate in my mind as I try to focus on the good side of Ana. He said that it will help with the current situation. And I try to do it. Key word being try. But I cannot help but replay past.

"Past is done, Christian and you cannot change it even if you want to. So why not do something that can make your future filled with happiness and a better place to live in?", he said.

But what can I do to make myself happy? I have Mila and to think that I'll have her in my future instantly puts a smile on my face. But can I take back Ana as a loving wife? I don't wait for my mind to give an answer.

In all honesty, I'm scared. I'm scared to be with someone and not constantly fear that they'll leave me again. I cannot live in fear at every second of my life and think that one wrong step of mine can result in losing her again.

"Don't repent", John said before ending the call. This statement triggered me. What was he trying to say? Not to repent Ana or not to repent my past? But this is the thing about John. He says some random syllables and leaves it to me on how should I interpret it.

"Mr. Grey we are here", Taylor's voice brings me back to the present. I look outside to see that we reached home. I get outside and start walking towards the elevator. Maybe I need a change. Walking to the same place every day that reminds me of the past. It is too hard to bear. Maybe changing houses can help me think clear.

When I reach the penthouse, the lights are off. This is strange. Confusion lances me as I walk ahead trying to find the switch in the dark. When I locate it, I find that it is already on. Then why are the lights off?

"Gail? Sawyer? Anyone here?", I hear Ana say in the dark too.

"Ana?", I say.

"Christian? Where are you? Why are the lights off?!"

I walk towards the direction off her voice and once I find her, I hold her hand. "Where is everybody?", I ask.

"I don't know! I was in my room and the house suddenly went dark. What is going on?", she says as I hear her voice quiver. She is scared.

"I don't -"

"Surprise!", I hear Mila shout as the lights go on at the same time. I blink a couple of time to adjust to the light. Once my eyes adjust to the bright lights, I focus on my surroundings.

There are balloons everywhere. The place is decorated with streamers all around the place with a 'Happy Anniversary' cardboard cutout in the corner but the window. Mila is standing in front of us with a huge smile plastered on her face and behind her Gail is smiling with a small cake in her hands.

Realization dawns on me as I remember today's date. November 28th. I look at Ana and find her already staring at me with her lower lip between her teeth. She seems surprised too. How did we forget today's date?!

Today, seven years ago, Anastasia Steele and I got married.

 _ **A/N: HELLO! Long due, i know but I was busy with college related stuff! This chapter was edited by bradleyabby and she'll edit all chapters from now on, show her some love! Hope you liked this chapter! I'll try to update the next chapter by next week but I cannot promise. Until we meet again, xoxo ~ Ava❤**_


	28. Chapter 28: Rain Dance

**Chapter 28: Rain Dance**

 **Christian's POV**

"Happy Anniversary, Mr. and Mrs. Grey", Gail wishes politely as I stand there dumbfounded. How did I forget November 28th?

"Thank you", Ana and I mutter at the same time. "Did you arrange all this?", she asks.

"Mila came to me and asked to make a cake and throw a party. Sawyer helped me with the decorations", Gail replies.

"It's beautiful", she says with a smile.

"Let's cut the cake!", Mila says enthusiastically and tugs Gail forward gently by her dress.

She places the cake on the coffee table in the living room and hands over the knife to Ana and me. We hold the knife together. As Ana places her hand on mine a shiver runs down my spine. I try my best to contain it, but I can't. After we cut the cake, Mila, Gail, Sawyer and Taylor all clap for us. Ana takes the piece of cake and feeds me.

"Happy Anniversary, Christian", she whispers.

I take a piece and do the same. "Happy Anniversary", I mutter and avert my gaze. For some reason, I cannot look at her right now. Memories from our wedding day floods my mind as I desperately try to push them to the back of my mind. Anastasia walking down the aisle in a white dress, looking breathtaking, holding white lilies as she walks between thousands of white roses that are neatly organized on either side of the aisle. The way we held each other's gaze while saying our vows, promising to love each other forever. The way my heart skipped a beat when she so lovingly said "I do", our first dance… It has been seven years, but I still remember them like it was yesterday.

"Here!", Mila hands over a card, bringing me back to reality. "I made it for you", she says shyly.

It is a card made from red paper with a beautiful paper quilling arranged in the shape of a big flower in the center. Inside, she has written why she loves us. It's the most precious gift I've ever received.

"It's so beautiful, Mila!", I say as tears well up in my eyes. Gosh, can my daughter be any more perfect?

"It really is", Ana says and kisses Mila on her cheek as she blushes.

"Let's have dinner!", Gail exclaims and leads us to the dining table. She has gone all out with the dinner today. She made us steak and mac & cheese at Mila's request.

"Tell me about your wedding!", Mila says, enthusiastically.

"What do you want to know?", I reply.

"Everything! Did mommy look pretty?"

"Very", I say and look at Ana who blushes profusely. "She was the most beautiful person on this entire planet." She gasps and stares down at her hands.

"And you?", Mila interrupts.

"Me? What about me?"

"Were you pretty?" she says with a giggle.

"He looked very handsome", Ana replies and smiles.

"I wish I was there for your wedding!", Mila sighs, dramatically to which we both laugh. This is what I always dreamt. My family, around the table for dinner, discussing about everything in the world lightheartedly. Unfortunately for me, I realized this dream a little too late.

"Let's go out for ice cream!", Mila says.

"Fine by me", Ana shrugs.

As we're on our way out to the elevator, Mila shouts "Goodbye Taylor and Gail and Sawyer!"

As we're driving to the ice cream shop, I look outside to see little drizzles of rain coming down on the windshield. The atmosphere between us is cool, and pleasant for a night out. Just as I think this, I see the drizzles slowing turning into a heavy downpour.

"It's raining!", Ana exclaims and I look at her.

"Yeah, what about it. We have an umbrella."

"Christian, pull over!" she almost yells

"Why?", I ask.

"Just do it Christian"

I do because I don't want an argument in front of Mila. She runs out of the car without the umbrella.

"Ana what the hell are you doing?!", I roll down the windows and ask her. She has her arms spread out and face up towards the heavens as she feels the rain on her skin.

"Enjoying the rain, come outside!", She shouts over the sound of the downpour.

"Yeah, I'd rather not", I snort.

"Lose yourself for once, Mr. Grey", she yells before she walks towards the park nearby. Why is she acting like such a child?

"I wanna go too!", Mila says and she bounces up and down on her seat.

"You aren't going anywhere."

"Daddy, please!"

"No, Mila. I don't want you getting sick. Your mommy is going crazy, that's all."

I contemplate going out in the rain. I don't want to go out in this weather but then I can't let Ana get sick. The last thing I want her is to get sick with her first surgery in 3 days. Ugh… fine.

I get out of the car with the umbrella held securely between my hands and Mila at my side. The wind is gushing past me with my shoes already soaking. I absolutely hate rain. I squint my eyes, trying to see clearly. I walk towards the park and see Ana sitting on the swing.

Her eyes are closed and face upwards, a smile on her face. Her red dress is soaking wet, hugging her slender figure. She is clearly enjoying this.

"Ana!", I call out.

Her eyes open as her smiles widens. "You came. Hi Mila baby."

Mila runs to hug her, getting soaked in the process.

"Yeah I did. Apparently, my ex-wife is going insane and I need to care for her", I say sarcastically.

"Don't call me that", she pouts childishly.

"What?"

"Ex-wife. We are still married, remember? That's why we are celebrating today", she says and I stay silent. "Lose yourself, Christian. Don't be so serious", she says again.

I still look at her like she has grown two heads. "Come under the umbrella, Ana. You'll get sick."

"You come outside it. Instead of restricting me and yourself, why don't you erase this boundary of your umbrella and see the world differently without it?"

"When did you turn into a philosopher?", I ask, amusingly.

"Since I stopped fearing death", she shrugs, nonchalantly.

I contemplate doing what she says. I can do what she asks for once and it seems clear to me that she enjoys this. "Don't over think everything!", she laughs.

Oh, what the hell.

I close the umbrella as warm rain water trickles down my sides. I'm soaking wet in seconds as I hear Ana's laugh over the sound of rain. She jumps up and down like a little girl and I look around to see that the park is empty except for us. Mila is running around jumping in puddles.

"Happy?! Can we go now?", I say as I turn to leave.

"Not so soon, Christian', she smiles and offers me her hand. I look at her quizzically but she says nothing. "What?", I ask.

"Now that we are here, in an empty park, with water pouring over us... let's do something crazy?"

"How much crazier can we get today?"

"You'll see", she says and offers me her hand again. I alter my gaze between her eyes and her hand. I'm curious to see what does she have in her mind. Trusting my instincts, I take her hand.

Immediately, she pulls herself towards me and keeps her other hand on my shoulder. "I hope you still remember how to dance", she says.

"Wait, we are dancing?"

"Yeah, ballroom dance?", she says with a twinkle in her eye.

"Insanity, confirmed", I laugh but put my other hand on her waist anyways.

We sway gently in the rain without music, our gazes holding each other, water dripping down our faces. She has a smile on her face and I cannot help but mirror her expression. I remove my hand from her waist and spin her around to which she giggles. Gosh, I haven't heard that sound in years.

"How can you be so happy?", I ask the question that has been bugging me for a while.

"Just because I'm scheduled to get a tumor removed from my ovaries in 3 days means I cannot enjoy my life?", she asks.

"I didn't mean that... I mean…", I fumble.

"When you stop fearing death, no force in the world stops you from living a good life. I stopped fearing death the minute I found out I was dying."

"Impressive", I mutter as we still sway to music-less tune. "Are you scared though?"

"Scared of surgery? Yes. But I'm not concerned about what will happen to Mila after me. I know she has an amazing father, and she will be the happiest with him."

"She needs you, Ana. Please don't speak about death."

"Even if something does happen to me, promise me you won't let Mila feel sad about me."

"Can you stop?", I mutter.

"And also, you can marry anyone. Just not that Sabrina woman, I hate her."

"ANA, STOP!", I shout. I don't want to imagine a life where she doesn't exist. I don't want to live in the world where Anastasia is nothing but a mere memory for everyone. Tears well up in my eyes.

We aren't dancing anymore. We are just standing there, our smiles wiped off our faces in an instant. I can feel anger seeping through me. How dare she even think about death? I'm doing everything possible to not even let the word 'death' near us.

"You promise me, Anastasia GREY, that you would not talk negative until this is over. You promise me, that you won't leave again if times go tough. You promise me, you will not lose hope", I say, flustered. My tears spilling over, thankful for the rain coving them.

She keeps quiet, her lips pursed. She wants to say something, but is trying not to.

"Do you know what Dr. Flynn always tells me? That we people always think negative aspect of a situation first. Let's just say, if you do fight cancer, then you must live with me and Mila forever. And I hope you have a plan since you must tolerate me for the rest of your life", I say and I see her face break into a smile and then she laughs, the tension evaporating between us. I watch her laugh freely, her eyes crinkle at the corners as she throws her head back and enjoys the moment. The moment is surreal, almost as if I take my eyes away from her, she will disappear.

I stand there, holding her waist in a gentle yet firm grasp. She is looking at me, her eyes holding my gaze, a smile still there on her face. My gaze darts from her eyes to her lips, my breath suddenly quickening. She is beautiful and I cannot deny anymore that I don't want to lose her again. Even the mere thought of losing her frightens me. And it frightens me that I've made Ana my priority, a priority I cannot ignore.

I made a promise to myself that I would not make any women my priority when Ana left. But then came Mila in my life. I couldn't ignore her, I loved her the moment her blue eyes met mine. I cannot lose her again.

I lean forward, closing the distance between us and kiss her forehead. I pull back a little and watch her eyes closed and her lower lip between her teeth.

"Happy Anniversary, Mrs. Grey", I whisper.

 _ **A/N: Hope you liked this chapter, this is my favorite one! Comment your views and until we meet again, xoxo ~ Ava❤**_


	29. Chapter 29: Love

**Chapter 29: Love**

 **Christian's POV**

 _Dear Christian,_

 _I'll start off by saying I'm extremely sorry. By now I'm sure you're extremely confused and wanting to know what exactly is going on. It is true. I've left Seattle. Please… don't search for me, if you love me and trust me do, you won't. I will come back, I promise. And... I love you. So very much. One day you will understand._

 _Your Ana x_

What is going on? First, I get a call from Sawyer informing me that Ana has 'fooled' him and left. He also informs me that she wrote me a letter. I scan the letter over and over again, trying to find a clue. Trying to figure out what the hell is going on. Is someone threatening her? Is this a joke?

I pace back and forth in my study, the letter tightly clutched in my fist. She said that I shouldn't look for her if I love her and trust her, but how can I not? It should be the opposite, if you love someone, then you do everything in your power to look out for them and take care of them.

I read the letter once more. There should be something, anything to indicate to what exactly is going on. She says she loves me, so that rules out the possibility of her cheating. She is sorry for what she is doing, so at least I have the assurance that she knows what she is doing. And she left Seattle that means she isn't in the city. Maybe out of the country? Unlikely, she doesn't even have a passport.

She wants me to stay away. It seems clear that this is a calculated move for her. With that thought in mind and with a heavy heart, I leave my office and come face to face with my staff, who are anxiously waiting for instruction on what to do next.

"Don't look for her", I say firmly.

"But… sir...", Sawyer stutters.

"I said no, and that's final", I say and turn to leave.

I gave you one chance, Ana... please, for once, do as you say you are going to. Please come back soon.

"Christian?"

I wake up with a jolt and blink rapidly as I focus on my surroundings.

"What are you doing here? Do you need something?", Ana whispers as I look at her quizzically.

But then I remember. I blink my eyes as they take in my surroundings. I'm at the hospital, Ana's room. She was asleep after the nurses came to run some tests and I came to check on her. I don't remember dozing off.

"Um...", I start to say as I clear my throat, trying to get the sleep out of my voice. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm not going to lie, I'm anxious", she whispers and I hear the fear in her voice.

I get up from the chair I was sleeping in and cup her face in my hand. "Try to not be. I'll be right outside you know that, right?"

"Yeah", she says as she bites her lip. I trace my thumb over her lower lip, freeing it.

"Also, Mia and Ethan told me that they can babysit Mila for the time being... if that's okay with you?" to which she nods. "Hey, everything will be fine, okay?", I say and hug her.

Today is Ana's first surgery and I'm not going to lie, I think I'm more scared than Ana. I can't loose her again. Also, what are the odds that I dream about when she left me the same day her first surgery is scheduled?

"I brought some food!", Carla chimes when she enters the room. I take a step back to give her room.

Carla has been the distraction from reality that we all have so desperately needed.

"I can't have food...", Ana says with sadness in her voice.

"Who said it was for you? I was talking about Christian and me", she grins as she hands me my lunch.

"That is so unfair! You cannot eat here in front of me, that's rude!", Ana gasps and pouts like a child.

"We aren't, we are going down to the cafeteria. Christian, honey, you're coming?", Carla asks.

"Yeah", I say and leave the room with my mother in law, not before seeing Ana who had a grimace on her face. I chuckled at her childishness.

"Christian. Can you go down to Ethan's house? Apparently, Mila refuses to eat anything since last night when you left her there. First, they thought she was not hungry but then she said this morning she won't eat anything until she knows where her mommy is", Carla says worriedly.

"What?"

"I didn't want to worry Ana. Can you please go? I'll stay here with her and make sure she has everything she needs."

"Yeah, Of course."

I leave the hospital and drive myself to Mia's place. Not eating food, how very apt. At the end of the day, Mila is our daughter. No wonder she's so stubborn.

"I am not!", Mila yells as I approach the door. I ring the bell and after a moment, Mia opens it. She looks like a mess to say the least. Her hair is up on a bun and is wearing a wrinkled shirt and light blue shorts with a long apron. There is flour smeared all over here face and hands.

"Who is it?" comes Ethan's voice at the same time Mia jumps at me and hugs me. "Thank you so much for coming. I am going crazy here please tell Mila to eat something!"

I nod and enter the apartment and I spot Mila instantly. She is sitting in the corner with her fingers in her ears and screaming random syllables so as not to here what Ethan was saying.

"What is going on here?", I say firmly, my question directed towards Mila. She instantly runs towards me and hugs my legs. "Where is mommy?", she asks.

"Aunt Mia says you haven't been eating since yesterday. Why is that?", I ask, avoiding her question.

"Because I want to know where mommy is!", she exclaims.

"Mommy is at work."

"No, she isn't!"

Ana and I decided we won't tell Mila about our current situation. We don't want her to be affected in any way. "What do you mean?"

"I saw mommy crying the other night. Something has happened to her and she wouldn't tell me!" She is too smart.

"I don't why was she crying... but she told me she wants you to eat something. Will you do that for her?"

"No!"

"Mila, do as you're told!", I shout and I instantly realized my mistake. But before I could apologize, she starts crying.

"No Mila", Ethan is by her side in an instant as I start to apologize. "I'm so sorry munchkin' I didn't mean to!", I try but to no avail.

"Let's go outside? I'll buy you a popsicle", Ethan says and she nods. She doesn't give me a second glance and leaves with him.

As soon as they are out of sight, Mia runs towards me and hugs me tightly. " If I can't take care of a five-year-old, how will I take care of my own child?", She says in my chest.

"Hey! It's okay. Mila is a bit worried about Ana that's all", I calm her down as I pat her back.

"No. It was my responsibility to take care of her. I should've done it properly. This makes me rethink of whether we should even have kids"

"There is still time, Mia."

"No, there isn't."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm pregnant", she whispers and I pull back to look at her face. My little sister is... pregnant? "I just found out yesterday and I haven't even told Ethan about it. When you told me to care of Mila, I thought this is a good moment to test my parenting skills. It's safe to say they absolutely suck", she gushes and I put my finger on her mouth to stop her from blabbering.

"Mia, congratulations!", I hug her more warmly this time. I'm so happy for her I can't even start to describe. She deserves it, even after today, I know she will be a great mother. "You need to tell Ethan soon though."

"I have a plan", she smiles.

I told Mia what were Mila's favorite dishes so she would prepare those and probably Mila would eat something then. After leaving their house, I drove straight back to the hospital. For some reason, being away from her is making me more anxious by each passing second. When I reach the hospital, I'm told that Ana will be going into the OR in 20 minutes. I go straight to her room to find Dr. Gerald talking to her.

"Hey", I say as I stand besides Ana's bed.

"Mr. Grey, I was just leaving. The nurses will come in, in 15 minutes", Dr. Gerald smiles warmly and leaves.

We are alone in the room, since Carla has gone down to Ray's place. Ray isn't well either and Carla has gone down to take care of him.

"The moment's here", she whispers.

"Afraid?"

"Very."

"Don't be", I say and kiss her forehead. "I brought you something", I say and she looks at me eagerly. "Here", I say as I remove two neatly folded papers out.

Her eyes widen as she reads the first paper. "It's the letter you wrote me six years back. You promised me you'd come back... but you fulfilled that promise really late", to which she looks at me sheepishly. She takes the second letter and starts to read it.

"It's a letter that I wrote for you." I say and add "And I abide by it."

When she completed the letter, she looked at me with tears in her eyes and asked, "Really? After everything?"

"Yes", I say and lean down to her level, our faces close. "I'll be here waiting for you."

"Christian...", she starts to say but I cut her off as I put my lips on hers. Her hands instantly clutch my hair tightly as we explore the passion that has been locked away for years. This is what I needed. This is what she needed. Whatever she says, I know she is scared for this, and I want her to be happy.

She traces her tongue at my lower lip, asking for permission which I grant her. Our tongues explore each other as my hands are firmly placed on either side of her face. We pull back together as we grasp for air. Our gaze holding each other, like we both are the center of the universe. A smile forms on her lips as she whispers, "I love you too."

After the nurses take her away, I re-read what I wrote in the second letter this morning.

 _Dear Ana,_

 _I don't know how you wrote this letter so many years ago, I don't even know what to say. I'll start by saying, you are the best mother our daughter could ask for. The past years were very difficult for me, especially when you promised that you will be back soon, but you didn't come. And at that time, those emotions morphed into anger. It took me a very long time to realize that I looked for you in those girls, but none of them could match you. And when you came back, everything changed. That anger left me day by day as I saw the amazing person you've turned into. I mean, you made me dance in rain for heaven's sakes. And each day, I fall more in love with you. I only realized that now. And now I have never been more positive of anything. I love you, Anastasia Grey. I always have._

 _-Christian_

 ** _A/N: Remember the test I was giving in February? Yeah its results are going to be out by this week or next week tops. Plus my degree classes has drained me so much.. hence the delayed update. I'll try to update faster now. No promises. Until we meet again, xoxo ~ Ava❤_**


	30. Chapter 30: Date

**Chapter 30: Date**

 **Ana's POV**

I hear murmurs, distant murmurs as my brain tries to register my surroundings. There is a dull throbbing on my lower abdomen which gets worse when I try to move. I slowly open my eyes but close them again because of the blinding lights above me.

I feel a hand take mine in their grasp. "Ana", I hear Christian whisper.

I try to open my eyes again, try to focus on his hand on mine but I feel too tired for that. Why am I so tired? I try to respond to Christian, to tell him I'm awake, just too tired to open my eyes. But my throat is parched... I need water.

I open my eyes again, this time more cautiously and focus on my surroundings. It is then I register the sound of the monitor and tubes inserted on both of my hands.

"How are you", Christian says but his voice is too loud... why is he too loud?

"I'm...", I croak as I try to form a sentence.

"Here, drink some water, the doctor said to give it to you when you wake up."

He helps me up as he gives me the cup. I eagerly drink the water and glance at him. He is staring at me intensely, so intensely it feels like he is burning a hole through me. I hand him the cup once I'm finished and he places it on the bedside table.

"Hi", I whisper.

"Hi", he says, still staring at me.

"How long have I been out?", I ask.

"Four hours after the surgery", he says as my eyes widens. Have been I really been out for this long? I look at him with questioning eyes but he says nothing. He is acting weird. "What's wrong", I say as I cautiously touch my face to check if something's there.

He gently takes my hand in his hands as he brings it up to his lips and kisses the back of my palm. "I've been so scared, Ana", he whispers. "The only thing going through my head the whole time you were out was 'She can't die. Fate can't be so cruel to take her from me again'."

At his words, my heart melts. He said he loves me before I went into the surgery. And now this, what did I do to deserve someone like Christian?

"Well, fate listened to you, didn't it?", I offer him a small smile which he reciprocates, though it doesn't reach his eyes. "Come here", I tug his hand gently as he carefully sits on my bed. I try to scoot a little but when I move, there is a sharp pain in my lower abdomen. I gasp loudly and instantly my hand goes over the spot where it still feels like burning.

"Ana! Why are you moving!", Christian scowls as he immediately gets up and Dr. Gerald enters.

"Mrs. Grey", she greets as she comes near the bed. "How are you feeling?" she asks as she checks the monitor and writing down the information.

"It still hurts on my lower abdomen", I mumble.

"It's because the effect of anesthesia is wearing out but it should get better soon", she says with a smile on her face.

"So... how did the surgery go?" I ask and see Christian freeze, but ignore him and focus on Dr. Gerald. Something tells me this is not going to be good.

"Ana... the tumor was larger than it was detected in the test results. We could get most of it out, but we need more surgeries than expected", she says very bluntly.

I barely register Christian taking my hand in his. My heart is pounding so fast. This cannot be happening. When I finally started to get my hopes up, this is the last thing I wanted to hear.

"I know it's difficult to hear this right now, but just so you know it is still treatable. The chances of full recovery are still high. You shouldn't lose hope yet, okay?", Dr. Gerald keeps on saying this, but I'm not paying attention. I try to focus on Christian's hand instead. His smooth, warm skin against my palms. The way he holds my hand in a firm grasp. The way his thumb traces small circles on the back of my hand. And his gaze, his sharp gaze on me which is holding me together right now.

"I'll be here if you need anything", she says before she exits the room. The room is dead silent right now, the only noise is our soft breathing and the damned monitor behind us.

"My hair's starting to fall out", I blurt and I look at him.

Instantly his face changes to that of shock but he covers it immediately. "When...?" he whispers, but doesn't complete the sentence.

"Last week", I sigh.

"You should've told me before", he mutters but I don't reply. Everything right now feels so... void. I don't want to be here. I want to just be home, in with Christian, in our room and just talk without any disturbance. And not this serious talk... but a light-hearted, happy conversation. Is it too much to ask for?

"She's pregnant!", Ethan bursts through the door as Mia follows sheepishly behind, awkwardly apologizing behind him.

"What?!", I gasp. Mia is pregnant?

"Yes! Steele, I'm so happy!", he comes towards me and kisses my forehead.

"Congratulations", I say to both of them. "When did you find out?", I ask Mia. But Ethan beats her to it.

"She says she found out yesterday. And today when we came here, she took me directly to the ward where all the babies are kept together... I forgot what it is called. I was confused for a bit but then we just watched how calm the babies were and that I told her I desperately want a kid. And she replies with, 'we are having one'", he says with such enthusiasm that for a moment I forgot I'm on the hospital bed.

"Yeah, and he just started jumping and shouting and we were thrown out of the ward", Mia scowls.

"Totally worth it", Ethan beams and kisses Mia passionately.

"Okay that's enough", Christian frowns at them as Ethan laughs at him. "Aren't you happy?", I ask him since he's been so quiet this whole time.

"I already knew", he shrugs and I look at him quizzically but don't ask him further.

"Mila?", he asks. "She is with mom", Mia replies.

"I hope she didn't trouble you", I tell them and they shake their head.

"Not at all", she smiles and looks towards Christian. They are communicating something which they clearly don't want to tell me.

"We'll let you rest, you clearly need it", he says and kisses me on my lips and all three of them rush out of the room. Well, that was weird.

Trying not to think about it more, I try to sleep. Not long before, I get into a dreamless slumber.

 **24 hours after:**

 **Christian's POV**

"This is ridiculous", Ana grumbles in my arms with her blindfold on. "I'm perfectly capable to walk, for your information"

"I know", I reply as I carry her slender figure. She has lost more weight than ever. It feels like I'm carrying a child.

Taylor opens the door for us as I enter our house. There are candles everywhere with the place decorated with white roses, her favorite. I put her down gently and hold her as she sways a little.

"It smells like roses in here", she comments.

"Take off your blindfold", I whisper in her ear as she eagerly removes the piece of satin from her eyes. I hear her gasp in astonishment as she wanders in the endless bouquets of white roses everywhere.

"Christian this is...", she trails off as she takes the scene before her.

"Hearts and flowers? I figured you would appreciate the sentiment", I smile as I stand behind her.

"Such a romantic", she teases as she turns around, gets on her tippy toes and places her lips on mine. Now I'd be lying if I said her touch didn't make me go wild. I cup her face and reciprocate the kiss in the same passion, her body firmly pressed against mine. Her arms are around my neck, making each inch of my skin alive where her fingers touch me.

It feels like the very first time when I kissed her in the elevator, her arms pinned above her. I was an asshole back then, the asshole who let his demons get to him every time a woman touched him. Elena had done such damage to me and Ana filled up each pore of that open wound with her love and care.

And now she is doing it again. Filling up the open wounds that were created when she left. It is crazy that she has so much power over me that it makes me scared, scared to death to even imagine her leaving me again.

She pulls back to grasp for air, a small smile tugging at her lips. "I love you, Mr. Grey", she whispers.

"I love you more, Mrs. Grey", I say as I reciprocate her smile. "Let me take you on our little date."

"At your house? Really?", she laughs.

"Our house… plus I figured since Mila is at Mia and Ethan's and you need rest, what's better place than at the comforts of our own home?"

"Very well, lead the way", she says as I take her hand and lead her to the table which was set near the balcony, viewing the city. I've come to know recently that this is Ana's favorite place to be. I serve her the drink which she gulps down in one swing and then makes a face. "Really? Apple juice?"

"We aren't drinking today. Refill?', I offer.

"No, thank you."

I sit opposite her and take her in. She wore a blue knee length dress before leaving the hospital. I requested the hospital to let her rest at home.

"I have one rule for today", she says, "we won't be talking anything serious at all today. Only the happy moments to put a smile on our faces."

"Fair enough", I say and signal Gail to bring us our dinner.

And true enough, we did only talk about the happy moments in the past years. She had all these amazing stories about how adorable and smart Mila is and how everybody around them used to love her. I didn't have much to contribute except all the trips I took different places with the woman I dated at the time to which she wrinkled her nose in disgust. I told her once how we went on a trip with Elliott and Kate and they made me ditch my girlfriend at that time in hotel room while she was bathing and took me to an night club where partied all night to which Ana laughed hard.

"Trust me, they have made me do even more stupid things. They once took me for bungee jumping when we visited South Africa together... let's just say I would never look at valleys the same way", I cringe at the memory.

"That sounds fun!", she exclaims. "I want to go paragliding once though. That's definitely something on my bucket list for next year!"

"Sure. Just don't expect I'll be going it too", I say as I eat the spaghetti that Gail made.

"We'll see", she smirks and I'd give a million bucks look at the idea cooking in her head to make me jump from 10,000ft.

For the first time since she left me, I feel truly and deeply happy. And to be honest, that's all that matters right now.

 ** _A/N: For starters, ITS MY 18TH BIRTHDAY TODAY! Gosh the past month was batshit crazy, I barely had time for myself plus the writers block.. but I knew i'd definitely update by my birthday. Its currently 27th June, 1:45am here so.. well it is my birthday in my country lol. Can y'all guess which country do I live in? If you guess correct, I love you._**

 ** _Also, I fully intend to complete this book, this is the first thing i promised myself when i started this. Though there are only 2-3 chapters remaining now (ikr? I'm sad too. Lets not go there rn), i'll definitely complete it. When? I don't know. But we'll definitely meet again, I promise._**

 ** _Until we meet again (AND WE WILL), xoxo ~ Ava❤_**


	31. Chapter 31: Sky Diving

**Chapter 31: Sky Diving**

 **Christian's POV**

I don't know how she did it, but she did it. Ana somehow convinced me and the doctors to let us go to Los Angeles for a small trip. And I couldn't deny it because she made those puppy eyes that she always does when she wants her work done. Over the past eight months, she has mastered the art of making those 'sad' eyes to get me to agree to her and I always fall for it. She also convinced Mila to stay with my mother for the time being and for some reason, even Mila agreed to this without any argument.

A satin wrap is placed securely against my eyes and Ana's hand entwined with mine, the only thing that is keeping me calm right now. I know she had something big in her mind when she gave me a blindfold. She said its a little 'date' we are going on, but to be honest, i cannot help but worry.

"How much more time, Ana?", I ask impatiently. We've been driving for the past hour and we still haven't reached our destination.

"Patience, my love", she says sweetly but I hear the teasing tone in her voice. She's messing with me again.

"That's it, i'm removing this blindfold", I say and try to remove it with my free hand but she grabs it before I could do it.

"No! You are doing nothing like that! Taylor, drive faster!", she says.

"We already going faster than we should, ma'am", he says as I scowl. Even he gets to know where we are going.

"Okay lets play a game to kill time", she says.

"Whatever."

Ignoring my comment, she proceeds to explain the game. "You can guess and tell me where we are going. If you say the correct answer, i'll let you know about it. Hint is we've talked about this before."

"Okay.. so.. I don't know.. some fancy restaurant?"

"C'mon you can do better than that! And no", she comments.

"Beach?"

"No."

"Circus?"

"What are we, five?"

"I don't know about me, but you most definitely are."

"Christian!", she says and gently slaps my forearm.

I chuckle as I take my next guess. "Is it something wild or something mild?"

"Wild."

"Jet skiing?"

"Nope."

"Ugh, this is frustrating!", I pout to which she just laughs. "We're here!", she announces after a while as I take a sigh of relief.

She helps me get out of the car as I still have the blindfold on. She takes my hand and leads me for about five minutes when we halt abruptly.

"Ready to take the blindfold off?", she asks.

"Never been more ready", I mumble as she goes behind me and unties it. The piece of cloth fell off and i'm met with bright lights when I open my eyes. I blink a couple of times to adjust to it. When I focus on my surroundings, I knew exactly where we were.

There was an open ground ahead of us which stretched as long as your vision went. She said we have talked about this before and now I know what exactly was she referring to.

"We're sky diving!", she bounces up and down in delight as my eyes widen in horror.

"No we are not."

"C'mon man don't be a spoilsport!", someone says behind me. I turn around to see two familiar figures coming towards us.

"Elliott? Kate?!", my eyes draw in confusion.

"Surprise, surprise!", he says and hugs me. "What are you guys doing here?", I ask and look towards Ana for explanation.

"I invited them. Adventures aren't complete without them, are they?", she giggles as I look at all three of them in grimace.

This cannot be happening. I'm not sky diving! Paragliding is still okay to some extent but sky diving is definitely not. I cannot imagine jumping from 10,000 ft. without harness and solely relying on a parachute which may or may not open.

"It'll be fun, Christian!", Kate intervenes my train of thoughts.

"I'm not stopping y'all. Okay, maybe I will stop Ana -"

"Hey!", she shouts.

"- But you both can definitely dive in sky", I conclude.

"Nice, now c'mon", Elliott says tugging my arm, completely ignoring what I said.

"Which part of my statement did you not understand?", I frown.

"All of it because we didn't hear a word", Kate says and high fives Elliott. Sometimes I wonder how they are made for each other. Its been almost seven years into their relationship too but it never feels like they are tired of each other.

"Guys, can y'all give us a minute?", Ana speaks from my side. They both look at each other for a moment and then Elliott reluctantly lets go of my arm and I immediately put some space between us.

"Ana, i'm not doing this. I can do anything but this!", I speak before she can.

"Christian, I get it you hate adventures, but I wanted to do this for as long as I can remember. I literally pleaded Dr. Gerald to let me come to LA for a short trip before I start with my new medication. I'm doing this either ways, it's your choice whether you want to be by my side or not. I won't force you."

I look at her as she speaks. She wore gray pants and purple tank top today. Her thin hands are on her waist as she speaks to me. I see her thinning hair line. She has lost so much volume in her hair it pains me to see her suffering. She loved her hair, those brunette locks that fell over her shoulder as she peaked at me through them when she first met me.

I raise my hand to her hair which is flying freely because of the wind and tuck it behind her ear as I hold her.

"Lead the way", I mutter as I see her smile widely instantly.

The next hour consisted of the staff of this skydiving place showing us clips on what should we do when we go up in the air, what position should we take while we are sitting on the edge of the door of the aeroplane and so on. I look towards Ana who is too engrossed in the video to even notice me staring at her. Elliott and Kate were chatting too loudly, kind of happy in their own bubble. Ava is currently with a babysitter, who is basically a friend of Kate from work, back their hotel room.

Then there was a physical demonstration on how should we resume positions, what should we expect. Each of us will have a guy who would dive with us so that does put me to ease a little bit. They gave us suits to where there are multiple hooks and straps, not really sure what they do.

"Ready?", Ana smiles brightly. She hasn't been this happy for a while now. All the time being on medication plus the surgeries has taken a toll on her. She tries to be happy for our sakes but I can see it in her eyes that she is tired. Tired of all of this, tired of eating medicines the first thing in the morning and last thing before bed, tired of going to regular check ups and tired of being called a 'cancer patient'. She absolutely hates it when she hears someone say that. Seeing her genuinely happy after such a long time.. I don't want to jinx it by complaining anymore. So for her sake, I muster my brightest of smiles and reply, "Lets go."

We go hand in hand to the plane where Kate and Elliott were already seated. There were two other guys hooked to them and two other on the opposite seat, waiting for us. After we were all seated and hooked, the pilot wished us "an happy adventure" - whatever that's supposed to mean - and the plane took off.

I could barely hear the laughter of others over the sound of the plane and my pounding heartbeat. This is it, i cannot back off now. I have to jump from a 1000ft. We decided that Elliott will go first, then Kate, then Ana and finally me. I asked them why am I the last one but no one really answered me. I was happy before that I was the last one to go but now that I think of it.. watching three people jump before you and disappear in the air is just mortifying.

I wasn't paying attention when suddenly the door of the plane opened and wind gushed towards us. We see Elliott and the guy go towards the door and sit on the edge. He put his head back and his arms gripping the hooks tightly, just like it was demonstrated in the video. He gave a final shout and then they were gone, disappearing between the clouds in a second. Next up was Kate and she did same thing. But before jumping, she screamed, "We'll be waiting down for you!" and then off she went.

It is Ana's turn now. Before she goes towards the door, she kisses me quickly on the lips and goes towards the edge. I'm not only scared for myself right now but her too. But she is so smooth in her movements that before I know it, she is ready to take off. Before she goes, she says, "I love you Christian" and before I could reply, she nods to his guy and off she goes.

Chase, the guy who is going to dive with me, pushes me forward immediately and before I knew i'm sitting at the edge of the plane. We wore these huge glasses so the air doesn't hit our eyes. I see the world beneath my eyes and suddenly, i'm not afraid anymore. I fell like I want to jump and conquer this world and so I push my head back, clutch the hooks on my suit and nod. As soon as I nod, Chase lets go and together we jump.

Next comes the most surreal experience I can think of. We are falling, literally. Ana wanted to record our reactions and our jump so there is a camera in Chase's hand and it's currently pointing towards me. But I don't have to pretend to be happy this time. I'm actually laughing hysterically as the wind hits me hard. To be up in the air, not thinking about problems on the earth, nothing can describe to this feeling. Suddenly I am not a son, a brother, a husband or a father. I'm just me, going against the wind, enjoying my life.

Chase opens the parachute somewhere in between but I don't notice it. My vision is focused on the ground, trying to measure the distance between the ground and us. As soon as the parachute opens, our speeds slows down a bit and I could observe the surroundings more carefully. As it's summer currently, everything around us is filled with colors. The mountains are dark green rather than a dull yellow. The farms around us are filled with crops swaying gently in the wind. It is so calm up here that I don't ever want to get down.

But I see the ground getting bigger and bigger as we near it. I see tiny figures of Ana, Elliott and Kate looking up at me as I come down from the high. When we reach the ground, Chase stables us as my feet wobble when they touch the earth. I see Ana running towards me and I open my arms at the same time when she jumps on me.

"It was amazing!", she laughs and I cannot help but join in. She leans in and kisses me deeply. "I wanted to ask you something", she whispers as she breaks the kiss.

"What?"

"Look up to the sky", she grins and points towards the sky and I follow her line of gaze.

My eyes widen when I take in the scene before me. There, up in the sky written by the smoke, are the words "WILL YOU BE MINE FOREVER". I quickly avert my gaze towards Ana behind me, who I find sitting on one knee, holding my wedding band that had been tucked away in my cupboard for all these years.

"Anastasia", I breathe, finding it hard to fathom everything at once.

"I know this seems too much to take in at one time but that's the point. Our lives has thrown so many curve balls at us but yet, we stand here, forgetting every pain ever endured and just enjoying this moment. Despite our past, you still stand by me and that's the moment I knew I'd be the stupidest person alive to lose you twice. I don't want to lose you, I want to stand by you forever - if that's possible - because I love you. You've been such an amazing father Mila could ever get and I still look at you in awe that you were able to fill the void of the dark times in just one year. So, Christian Grey, since we are already married, I want to ask you if you will stay with me forever?", Ana concludes.

All the air is knocked out of me. I was most definitely not expecting this. Tears stream down my face and I don't even make an attempt to wipe them. Behind her, Kate and Elliott are standing holding a placard that says "Say Yes".

"You are so crazy, why is this even a question?", I chuckle. I take her hands and make her stand. "Yes", I whisper looking deep in her eyes as a huge smile spreads across her face and she kisses me with such passion and aggression that I forget for a moment i'm standing in an open field just coming down from the air. I hear Kate's squeal and Elliott's laugh as more voices join in. She pulls away and slides the ring on my finger. She hands me her ring so I can put it on her finger too.

"Also, look behind", Ana says. I turn around just in time as Mila jumps towards me. "You are kidding me!", I gasp as I see my parents, Ray, Carla, Mia and Ethan all walking towards us.

"When did you plan all of this?", I ask her, clearly astonished.

"Let some things be a secret and enjoy this day", she winks and greets everyone who is now surrounding us.

When we were leaving the place, I manage to pull Ana away from the crowd and take her to a secluded area.

"Forgot to say something, earlier", I tell her.

"What?"

"I love you too, Anastasia Grey."

 _ **A/N: The past month has been very depressing for me, literally. Many things happened and I was trying to find myself in that situation. But I did write this chapter by 20th July. Look, I'm not a person who would call someone out but if you do me dirty, face the consequences. In this case, it was the person who edited the chapters for me since chapt 26 of this book. They know exactly who they are and what they did and it would be appreciated if I at least get an explanation for your actions. To sum it all up, I had to edit this chapter myself and hence it took me a while. Sincere apologies. There are only 2 chapters remaining:( Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Until we meet again, xoxo ~ Ava❤**_


	32. Chapter 32: Theatre Shenanigans

_Warning: Erotic Scene Ahead._

 **Chapter 32: Theatre Shenanigans.**

 **Anastasia's POV.**

"This is the last one", Christian grins towards me.

"Well, we don't know for sure", I answer.

"I can feel it is", he says, holding his ground.

I am currently siting on the chair for my final test. The nurse gives us a warm smile and applies rubbing alcohol on the crook of my arm. She then draws the blood for, hopefully, the last time.

Over the past one and a half year, my condition has started to improve considerably and the effect can actually be noticed now. My mood swings have reduced and i'm more happier than I used to be.

I look at my husband and smile nervously. There is this thing i've noticed over the years that always staying positive creates a negative aura. I try to stay as modest as possible but I know I can feel the end of the treatment days. The cancer has reduced by a huge amount and that makes me happier than ever.

"The results will be available tomorrow", the nurse says as Christian helps me up.

"Thank you", I mutter as we leave.

We make our way out of the hospital to a nearly deserted parking lot. As we reach our car, Christian spins me around and crashes us to the side of the car and kisses me passionately. His hands are all over me as I feel his adrenaline radiating off him for me being cancer free in a matter of days.

"Christian, somebody will see us", I gasp between our make out session.

"I don't see no one here", he replies hurriedly as he opens the back seat door and lets us inside.

As I recall the events of the past month, I can't help but grin at them. Last month, Christian and I reaffirmed our marriage. We didn't even know what was happening when we reached our home after dinner.

"The flowers are at the wrong place!", Mia shrieked as we made our way out of the elevator.

"What flowers?", Christian looks at me with confusion.

"How am I supposed to know? We don't have any flowers in the house especially after the sneezing spree Mila had when we brought lilies for her."

"Oh don't remind me that. I still don't understand how did we not know she was allergic to lilies!"

When we open the doors, we see not one or two but hundreds of bouquets of exotic flowers in the house. There was a trail of flowers from the door to the centre of house where a heart had been made out of flowers. Mia was shouting at some guys who were hurriedly changing the position of the flowers and Ethan was trying to hold her back but to no avail.

When her eyes spotted us, she stopped, almost guiltily, and made herself out of Ethan's grasp.

"Brother, Ana", she nods towards us.

"What is this, Mia?", Christian asks.

"A small marriage ceremony."

"Which is not needed. Wasn't the other day at the sky diving field enough of it?"

"No! That was too public. We need a private ceremony too!", she grins as we look towards her in amusement. She just needs a reason to celebrate the smallest of things.

"Lets do it", I say, joining in as Christian throws me a confused glance. "It'll only take five minutes."

"Yes! And you guys don't need to change or anything. Even these clothes will work fine."

"Sure they would", Christian says sarcastically.

Ignoring his comment, she takes us to the centre of the heart and stands us facing each other. We take our so called vows as Mia stands between us "officiating" it.

A bite on my earlobe distracts me from my thoughts as I come back to reality. His kisses are furious and somehow we ended up in the back of the car. He puts his hand under my shirt as he places a hurried kiss on my lips.

"Not here", I say between my kisses.

"What?", he says, breaking apart.

"Not here, Christian, somebody will see us", I reason with him.

He processes my statement for a moment and then nods, "There is a possibility, fine."

We drive in complete silence for five minutes after that as I take in his features. He is angry, he hates to be denied but i'm happy he did not push me further. Yeah it was fun to have parking lot sex years back but I don't wanna risk it now.

"Lets go for a movie", I suggest, hoping to lighten his mood.

"Which movie?"

"Anything that's been playing right now in the cinema."

"Okay then."

He drives us to the cinema where currently two movies were being played. One movie was about a teenage love story and other was of a zombie apocalypse.

"Lets go for the Zombie apocalypse one", he says.

"I don't want to watch zombies on the screen right now", I scrunch my brows.

"Its either that or a stupid teen love story which doesn't make sense most of the time plus the plotline is always basic -"

"FINE! Zombie movie it is", I sigh.

He grins and brings us the tickets to the second to last row and buys a tub of popcorn as we make our way inside to a nearly deserted theatre.

"I'm seriously considering your choices right now", I tell him.

"You are my choice though, so agreed", he pokes his tongue out.

Five minutes into the movie and I am already bored. There is literally nothing happening on the screen. Nothing interesting at least. So I turn my head towards Christian, only to find him engrossed in the film. Suddenly, a plan forms in my head and I cannot help but smirk at the evilness.

I trail my hand down his arm and hold his hand. I see him stiffen momentarily but then recover almost immediately. I then withdraw my hand and place it on his crotch and I hear him gasp. He firmly holds my hand to stop me from going any further. But adding to his agony, I moved our hands over his crotch as he tries to stiffen his moan. I feel him stiffening under my hand.

"You may like to stop now, Ana", he whispers in my ear.

"This is for making me watch this movie, Christian", I smirk.

He suddenly leaves my hand and traces the side of my body. I look at him with a raised eyebrow as he trails his hand on the waistband of my jeans and almost immediately, he puts his hand under the waistband and holds my crotch with his hand. I cannot help but moan softly.

"Hush now, Mrs. Grey", his hot breath on my ear making shivers running down my spine. I withdraw my hand and press my lips together to stiffle another moan.

He moves his fingers up and down my clit in an agonizingly slow pace. I tried to move a little in order to create a friction but that in turn only made him stop.

"Don't you dare", he whispers.

I look around to see if anyone is watching us but either the people are too focused on the movie to notice us or sleeping because the movie actually makes no sense to be honest.

Christian moves his fingers again, this time at a faster rate. My breath quickens as my eyes closed voluntarily.

"Open your eyes, I want to see you", he says in a hushed but dominating tone and I try to open my eyes against my will. I adjust a little to make myself comfortable and he puts two fingers into me as his thumb still rubs rapidly against me. His puts his other hand around me and rubs his fingers over my left nipple through the fabric of my shirt.

I clutch his hand tightly, my nails boring into his skin. If it hurts him, he doesn't say anything. I desperately try to contain my moans but to no avail. At this point, I don't care for what others in the theatre think about our shenanigans, I just want a release.

"Chris..", I manage to say, "Please"

"Please what?", he responded in a low voice but I just moan in response. "Words, I need words baby."

"I'm nearing.. please!", my mouth forms a big 'O' as I near the edge.

"Come for me."

Those three words were my undoing. I am consumed in utter bliss and pleasure as Christian kisses me furiously in order to drown my moans. My breath is short and i'm gasping for more air.

"I love you so fucking much, Mrs Grey", he whispers in my ear.

I manage to look at him through hooded eyes only to see him staring back at me with this intensity that brings me back to reality. Staring in his eyes I realize how much truth his words hold. How much I mean to him.

"And I love you more, Mr. Grey", I whisper back. "And now lets take care of you", I giggle as we make our way out of this trash movie to our sweet home.

Next day:

"Good Morning, Mr. and Mrs. Grey", Dr. Gerald says as she comes to the room we are currently seated in.

"Morning", we mutter anxiously. To say we didn't sleep yesterday would be an understatement. We were both nervous and excited at the same time.

"Lets see what your report says, shall we", she smiles her bright smile which eases our nerves.

She opens my file and scans through it quickly, raising her brow subtly while reading it. I look towards Christian who has his lips pursed and is carefully studying Dr. Gerald for any signs.

"Well, the tumor is gone, the vitals are normal and you responded well to the medications, dear", she smiles.

"So?", Christian asks.

"We can't just suddenly discontinue the medicines as of yet but we can reduce the antibiotics consumption to minimal and i'll let the nutritionist know about the recent developments so she can adjust your diet accordingly", she explains.

During the start of my medication, Dr. Gerald assigned us a nutritionist to take care of my food intake so my body can cope up with the heavy antibiotics and the surgery. I've been following almost the same pattern for a year now so changing it definitely is a good sign.

"Congratulations Ana, your cancer is almost gone.. and it won't be long before you are completely off medicines", she says and chills run down my spine.

I have been waiting months to hear this.. and to finally hear Dr. Gerald say it brings a foreign feeling inside me. I immediately think of Mila and how I can be with her for her future. I turn towards Christian only to see he has tears in his eyes as he looks at me with a peculiar emotion.

"I'll give you guys a moment", the doctor says as she steps out of the room.

Instantly, Christian picks me up and swirls me as I laugh. I hold his face between my hands as I kiss him hard like my life depends on it. He doesn't hold back either and responds with equal amount of love that he has for me.

"I'm so happy for you", he mutters as we break our kiss to take a breath.

"Lets go and tell Mila that we have forever?", I ask.

"Sure", he laughs.

 ** _A/N: Been a really long time, agreed. But I wanna share something with you guys. Ever since my birthday, i've been feeling kinda low. I hate every part of being 18. It has increased more since my college has started. And i'm from India btw (kuddos to all those who got it correct in the first guess!) where studies is like super important. I'm pursuing my graduation course and a professional course simultaneously so that has taken a toll on me. And above all, i'm facing intense peer pressure. I am the person who believes in fiction so being single and into tv shows and books never really bothered me. Until now. I've never had a partner. I know its stupid to listen to other people but it really is bugging me. I don't wanna bore y'all or anything but at this point, it feels i have no one. Idk if its that severe that I can call it depression but i've been sick a lot lately too due to stress. I didn't even feel like writing anything tbh. Maybe its common for everyone, maybe its not. But I'm trying to my best to adapt to change.. and i really hope i succeed._**

 ** _As on the story front, I really enjoyed writing this chapter! My first attempt at writing an erotic scene lol. Last chapter remaining! And I just realized the book will complete a year on 13th October! Almost a year, feels like a dream! I'm really excited to complete this book.. my first book that i'll actually complete haha._**

 ** _Until we meet again, xoxo ~ Ava❤_**


	33. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

 **Christian's POV**

I walk over to the piano with a glass of red wine in my hand. _God I miss playing_. I set my glass aside as I wipe of the dust from the piano cover and open it to reveal the untouched keys. Its been a year since I last touched this piano.

I pick up my glass again and swivel the wine inside as I take a huge gulp. _Drinking wine won't erase memories_. I shake my head in an attempt to free my thoughts and sit on the bench. A number of tunes rush in my mind that I could play for distraction.

I take a deep breath and start with a classic piece as my mind wanders off to a place far away from the reality. I imagine a perfect world, a world where nothing is as fucked up as this world can offer. A place where Ana never left, a place where I have my daughter and my son with me as we play in the backyard of our mansion in the suburbs. A tiny world where everyone is happy.

The bench dips slightly besides me as the person settles down. Her swollen belly almost touches the piano but it doesn't seem to affect her. She silently listens to the piece i'm playing as she waits for me to complete it.

"Haven't heard you play for a long time", she says.

I keep quiet.

"You seem tensed", she starts again as she turns 45 degrees and reaches out in an attempt to massage my shoulders.

"It's nothing, Ana.", I say and take the last sip of the wine.

"Sure", she says sarcastically. "What is it?"

I sigh as I contemplate telling her. "I read the drafts."

"What drafts?", she looks at me quizzically.

"The drafts you wrote when you were carrying Mila."

She stiffens for a moment but then furrows her brows. "Where did you find those? I thought I deleted them."

"I found those years back. I saw the emails addressed to me so I sent them from your computer to myself a long time back but never read it. Wish I never did."

"Christian whatever it was, it was a long time ago. I don't feel the same way anymore."

"It saddens me that we missed six years of our lives apart. A time when we both needed each other more than ever. A time -", she places a finger over my lips and then replaces her finger with her lips as she kisses me deeply.

"Leave it be, Christian." She then takes my hand and places it over her stomach.

"For the sake of him at least?", she smiles which I cannot help but reciprocate.

I remember the day Ana told me she was pregnant vividly. It was my birthday and I had important meetings to attend which bummed both Ana and Mila out. But when I returned, their enthusiasm was exactly the opposite of what I had expected. Mila had enthusiastically placed a small wrapped box in my hand and encouraged me to open it. Not once did I suspect it would be a pregnancy test. Once I opened it, I felt a flash of the camera and I looked up towards Ana. She had tears in her eyes as she whispered "Happy Birthday." Needless to say, I cried by just looking at her.

"Christian, it's time", Ana says as she brings me back to the reality.

"I know."

The drive to the hospital is eerily silent. Ana is lost in her own thoughts and I am trying to wrap my hand around the idea that my son will be born today. After Ana's near death experience during Mila's birth, we both mutually decided that it was better to opt for elective cesarian. I was very firm with my decision until now that I think we should've waited instead. We fill out the hospital forms and a nurse wheels Ana up to the check up room.

The procedure went smoothly, nothing that could scare the shit out of both of us. Our son, Ian Philip Grey, was born healthy and Ana and I couldn't be more happier.

"He's perfect", Ana whispered when she saw him for the first time.

"Thank you", I said, teary eyed, as I kissed both my wife and son on their foreheads.

It is my time for chest to chest with my son as Ana is asleep. The nurse helped me adjust Ian on my chest and sat me down in the corner. She leaves quietly as I look at my son carefully for the first time.

"Hey baby", I whisper as softly as possible as to not wake Ana up. I feel our hearts beat in sync, his a bit more faster than mine. "Dada loves you."

I gently rock him and cannot help the grin that spreads over my face as I look at him. _No, this definitely wasn't a mistake, he was meant to come today._

A little while later, my bubbly 10 year old daughter bursts through the hospital doors, eager to see her baby brother. Mila looks at him in awe and astonishment. It will take her a while to wrap around her head that she has a sibling now but i'm sure she will be the best sister Ian could've asked for.

Ana's eyes drifts to mine as her mother keeps on talking about the benefits of breast feeding for babies and new mothers. I think she sometimes forgets about the fact that Ana already did it once with Mila. Looking into my wife's eyes, I realise that worrying about past seems so trivial now. Her eyes spoke a million words to me that she doesn't talk about. It in turn makes me calm and puts me out of the misery that I was in earlier this morning. I have a family now to look after and there is definitely no place i'd rather be than here, with them.

"I love you", she mouths.

"I love you more", I smile.

 **The End.**

 ** _A/N: DON'T CLICK OFF JUST YET! I know I have a long explaining to do for this *extremely* long absence but bear with me for a few more hours. I have one more bonus chapter for you - written AND edited! - which I will upload in a few hours!_**

 ** _Until a few more hours, xoxo ~ Ava❤_**


	34. Bonus Chapter

**Bonus Chapter**

 _(Drafts that Ana wrote to Christian when she was in Santa Fe with Mila but never sent them.)_

 **To:** **Christian Grey.**

 **Subject** **: Pregnant.**

Dear Christian,

I'm pregnant. This is not a hoax, I really am pregnant. I know we didn't plan this, but we can definitely go through this. I didn't mean to run away like a coward, being here in the south makes me realise what a stupid mistake I did. We're miles apart, yet my heart yearns for you. I know you must be angry, confused even but I will come back, I promise.

Yours, Ana.

 **To** **: Christian Grey.**

 **Subject** **: Baby's gender.**

Dear Mr. Grey,

I am 15 weeks pregnant as of today. I just found out that we're having a girl! I told the guy (yeah it was a guy, the female nurse was on a leave or something) who was doing the ultrasound to write the gender down on a paper because this neighbor of mine wanted to throw me a gender reveal. She made me cupcakes and when I bite into it and saw the pink icing, I couldn't stop crying. Partly because I wanted a girl and it came true, partly because you aren't here to share this joy with me. I am very lonely here baby and I want to go through this journey of having our first child together with you. You're having a daughter, Christian! Get ready to take care of another girl in your life haha.

Yours, Ana.

 **To:** **Christian Grey.**

 **Subject** **: Labor.**

Christian,

Don't freak out.. but i'm probably in labor right now. I know its only 34 weeks.. maybe it can be a false alarm. Maybe it's just Braxton Hicks. I don't know and I don't know what the fuck to do. I'm very scared and confused. I'll give you an update soon.

Ana.

 **To:** **Christian Grey.**

 **Subject** **: Our daughter is here and her name.**

Dear Christian,

Our baby is healthy and has already started giving me sleepless nights! And she's only a week old! It was a very intense labor journey.. so many hours of constant pain and yet she wouldn't come out! I had to finally go through cesarian and kid you not its no joke. I cried when I first saw her. I couldn't stop the tears because I wanted you to be there, wanted you to see our daughter come into this world. I also have a name in mind for her.. how does Mila Lively sound?

Love, Ana.

 **To** **: Christian Grey.**

 **Subject** **: Mila's first word.**

Christian,

It's been a while since I wrote here but to be honest your daughter is as stubborn as you. No proper pattern of sleeping and for some reason she throws up whenever I give her formula. Also, guess who just spoke her first word?! It was the cutest thing ever! And what was her first word? Dada. I think I cried a bit on that. Funny how her first word was someone she has never met. Oh yeah, also, her name is Mila Lively Steele. I didn't want to complicate things here so I figured let her last name be Steele for the time being.

Yours, Ana.

 **To:** **Christian Grey.**

 **Subject** **: I'm coming home.**

Mr. Grey,

I can't take this anymore. I am crying as I type this. I am such a reckless person. I separated a father and his now five month old daughter. You don't deserve this, Mila doesn't deserve this. I have to make it right. I am coming home, Christian, I am coming soon like I promised. It is time for me to make things right, it is time for you to meet your daughter. We're coming home, baby.

Love, Ana x.

 _ **A/N: Wow it is done.. it really is done. So first off I wanna say a big**_ _ **THANK YOU**_ _ **for clicking on this story and waiting for months for an update and finally completing this story! I literally cannot thank anyone enough for this *insert a picture of me crying whilst I write this*.**_

 _ **Now explaining my absence. Yes, I was in a very very terrible phase of my life in the past 5-6 months. I had back to back 2 extremely important exams and then terrible mood swings and it's even hard to put it in words. But gradually I got over it. Also, I don't know if I told you this but**_ _ **Ava Meyers is my pen name**_ _ **, the name I like to go with for my stories. My real name is Aayushi. (Wow I finally said it!)**_

 _ **I had also written the epilogue in September last year itself but it was so bad that it didn't give this story the justice. So I kept on procrastinating the rewriting part (because i'm lazy af) until one day the story just magically disappeared from phone. By then I had also lost all motivation to write until two days back I made a firm mind and wrote these two chapters! And i'm proud of it okay?**_

 _ **So i'm going to end my rambling here to say a proper**_ _ **goodbye**_ _ **to you guys. I had written this story for the sole purpose of improving my writing skills (which i did if you compare my first chapter to last) and also because I had this story in my mind for a long time. I swear I wouldn't have gone this far without you beautiful people who read my story.**_ _ **Y'all are amazing and I LOVE YOU SO FREAKING MUCH!❤**_

 _ **Once again:**_ _ **THANK YOU**_ _ **and i'll maybe pop here once or twice with a bonus chapters for you guys. No promises at all lol. I started this when I was in senior year of high school and now i'm almost a sophomore in college. Seems like an end of an era. Imma cry now. Okay bye.**_

 _ **Until We Meet Again, xoxo ~ Gossip Girl. Just Kidding. Ava❤**_


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